For refusing to put an offer on a 'dream' home

[Megank1989]

We currently rent and a house came up for sale on the street over. We LOVE our area and have always intended to buy here once we have a reasonable deposit (about 10k off).

He convinced me to go see it and, it is everything we'd need. Due to being a HMO previously it's a good 50k cheaper then it has rights to be with two converted rooms in the basement that could be used for office/gym/guest space plus two massive upstairs bedrooms and a kitchen with the counter space we really need. It's on the market at our absolute limit (due to the LISA) so would likely be outbid anyway but still.

The issue for me is I simply do not feel equipt to deal with this process right now. I'm 7 months pregnant with our first DC and it's been a really difficult time:

• She was conceived via IVF after 3 years of infertility so since Dec last year I've been on hormones/been jabbing myself with needles/been pregnant
• 1st trimester he was travelling a lot so I had to deal with some pretty miserably symptoms on my own
• 2nd trimester he was keeping himself off the ledge of a breakdown due to a horrible work environment (ongoing)
• 3rd trimester and it looks like I'm going to get diagnosed with SPD so managing pain whilst trying to work out if my birth plan is worth the paper it's written on

Offer to your budget and then see what happens. You’ll always wonder what if otherwise.

I agree, explain thats your limit because of the Lisa. Other first time buyers also bidding may be in this situation too

Do you have any budget left to change it back into a house?

It all feels completely overwhelming at the moment but I mean this kindly when I say that life isn't going to get less stressful when your baby arrives. Strike while the iron is hot. If it works out, great! If not, no harm done. There will always be plenty of reasons not to do something, but if you heeded them all, then nothing would change.

Enjoy the last couple of months of your pregnancy. This is when it all gets very real and so exciting.

There will never be a perfect time.
don’t go over your budget, a renovation always costs more than you think.
Is the property safe and liveable with a young child currently? If not, I’d steer clear.

I would put the offer in. It's a good deal and sounds as though you might be able to use the house as is and delay any serious work that needs doing to it until the time is right. An opportunity like that may not come up again.
And if you don't get it, then there is nothing to worry about as you didn't want the hassle anyway.

You know that as soon as the baby is born your maximum you can borrow is going to plummet unless you han say you have free family childcare lined up. If your DP can get away with securing a mortgage in both your names without your having to go into an office you may still be able to get away with declaring "no dependents" for the next 2 months.

Not sure about the house but forget the birth plan. They are not worth the paper they are printed on and often cause a lot of stress to women wanting the perfect natural birth and feeling like they failed if they don't get one.

Surely before the baby comes is the best time? This opportunity doesn’t come up often if you really love where you live. I get having a physically miserable pregnancy (I was violently nauseated and had SPD pretty much until I delivered), plus I was working overseas, away from DH until 36 weeks when I could no longer fly and had to go on maternity leave, but that was when a tiny flat we could afford came up. I wasn’t physically on the spot, so DH had to handle most of the logistics. Even so, it was stressful, but worth it.

Is it safe and liveable? If it is, go for it. Short term pain and all that

That’s what my midwife said when she commented that they prefer to call it “birth preferences”

Unless it's actually uninhabitable, go for it. There's no easy time to move house, DC or no, and you're years off an easier time DC wise.

Birth plans are so overated!

What's the chance of another house coming up for sale?

If you like it I'd go for it. Nothing to lose buy offering what you can afford.

Make an offer. I think you'll regret it if you don't.

At this stage in the house buying process there's very little to actually do. It's all verbal.

Make an offer - if it's rejected, you tried.

Make an offer- if it's accepted you appoint a solicitor and a mortgage advisor. For the next few months they do what's needed.

Tell your DH that he will have to lead on this because of your pregnancy.

If all goes well, yes you might be moving with a new baby. That's actually probably a lot better than trying to move with a 1 year old + who is on the move.

Buying and moving etc is always daunting but I don't think your situation means that you shouldn't have a go at buying this house.

Only you can really make that call. What I would say though, is that from offer/acceptance to actually moving could be months and months, by which time you could fee completely different and able to move, but full of regret for missing out on the perfect house.

In terms of moves though, right across the street should be about as straightforward as it gets and you may well have several days to move if your tenancy and completion overlap; do you have any family that could help you?

Also, from experience, moving with a baby is a lot easier than moving with a toddler, I'm not sure it will get too much easier for a while.

Your birth plan probably is not worth the paper it's written on - there are so many variables. Best plan is - go with the flow, decide as you go along, get a healthy baby and mum at the end of it.
You can add things that should definitely be possible - for example, however the birth went, I wanted DH to look at the baby and then tell me the sex

Re the house - if it is inhabitable, make the offer. You will always wonder 'what if' if you don't

The birth plan is (usually!) 1 day in your life
The house will be for much longer than that

Birth plans are about as much use as paper airplanes. I swear they are encouraged just to keep expectant mothers quiet.

Think about what you want, with regard to pain management and so on, but that’s about it.

SPD is a bastard, so I send my commiserations. get a support belt for your hips, put plastic bags on car seats etc so you can swivel in and out of the car without straining your hip joints, and be careful with yourself.

Go for it with the house. I was 8 months pregnant and on crutches when we moved in; sure, a challenging few weeks but more than worth it. Within 4 months I was so glad I’d not backed out.

I moved into a total fixer upper ten days before my first was born. I ignored all the work for the first few months! Then have very happy memories of spending the rest of my Mat leave with my boy in a sling looking at kitchens and wallpaper and bathrooms etc. in fact it would have been totally impossible to do once I was back at work and my boy was 1 and more demanding.

It’s 50k cheaper because it needs at least 50k of work done, do you have the cash to do that?

As far as the pregnancy thing, there’s every chance you won’t even get the keys until the baby is 4 months or older so I wouldn’t use that as a reason.

go for it, test the water

It's not just the purchasing you've got to stress with it's the renovations with a newborn. You're wise to walk away unless you have a team you can bring in to do the work while you live off site.

I have a slightly different view from some. I have moved quite a few times, once to a pretty extensive renovation and I hated it. Living in horribleness for 6 months then 12 months of renovation. I never did settle in the house! Moved after 3 years. Extensive renovations are not for me. With a full time plus job and kids just too much. Moved into a house that can be improved over time and its much better. Do you have the money and what does it look like now. Renovation is great for some bit is not for everyone and I would never ever move into another house again that needed that much immediate work no matter what it may look like afterwards! Do what's right for you and think about the kind of person you are.

Your in principle mortgage - is that still valid once you are on maternity leave or is it based on you working? Will you go back to work full time or reduce your hours? Because this is what you can borrow now, would it be possible next year?

I would offer what you’d be happy with, I sort of regret not buying a much bigger house we were going to buy just as I found out I was pregnant. (It needed a lot of work, we bought a smaller house that was move in ready)

I would offer! There's never usually a good time for all this.

The issue for me is I simply do not feel equipt to deal with this process right now.

but you won’t feel like you can with a newborn / toddler either. And your borrowing potential will plummet because of nursery fees.
it is not going to get any easier than it is right now.
if you don’t want to do it, that’s fine. But if you’re waiting for an “ideal time” then it doesn’t exist, and now is probably the easiest it will be .

and no, the birth plan means nothing. Preference, yes, but plan, no.