I quit my job and now feel like a failure -was aibu?

[looneyprincess]

I've posted multiple times so I apologise if you have read them or don't want to read again.
I hadn't been working for a while because after my mum died I had a breakdown
I had anxiety and depression and I couldn't leave the house
After a few years I thought I had built myself up and last week returned to a job.
40 hours as a hotel receptionist
I got there and they told me I would get my shifts on a Sunday for the Monday and week ahead
They didn't give me any breaks on a 8 hour shift
I had to eat at the reception if I could
Shifts finishing at 11pm then back 7 am
They have told me all bank holidays I will be working
Basically it's sent me to have anxiety and panic attacks
Haven't slept since Thursday last week
Well obviously a few hours
Crying and getting myself worked up

I think I've jumped in too quick
So I quit
I still have my UC claim with LCWRA so I'm no worse off but I have no job now

I think if I hadn't I would of had a breakdown

So now I'm applying for jobs with fixed days/hours so I have structure and a plan
And also starting at 25 and working up that way
Rather than jumping in

I'm not a failure am I ?
I still take me medication and have taken double today

Sorry for the lack of punctuation

No you’re not. Those T & C aren’t good. I’m looking at the moment for similar reasons (work/life balance and being able to plan). Ask questions about the rota and pattern at the next place. Any decent employers would be happy to be open about this. Good luck 🤞

I think that fixed hours and starting part time is a great plan, and well done for recognising what did and didn't work about the receptionist job. I really hope this works for you, and you are absolutely not a failure.

Obviously I don't know what medication you're on, but should you check with your GP or a pharmacist if it's OK to take double?

Best of luck with the job hunt - I'm sure you'll find your way back to yourself.

It's no good getting a job that will make you too stressed. I wouldn't ever have put up with being told shifts on Sunday for the next day, that's never been reasonable. Have you considered some office hours admin or office reception, so that at least you can have a regular work-rest pattern? You can do temping to get something quickly and if you don't pick up something regular then you can set which days you'll work, so take a rest day as needed.

Whether or not it’s a good job it just wasn’t the right time for that job for you and what’s done is done anyway. Concentrate on your feelings and maybe look for part time/ more for jobs. x

The job sounds awful and you were right to decide it wasn’t for you. Sticking at a job that makes you unhappy is not a measure of resilience/being good/whatever unrealistic goal you want to put here. This wasn’t the right job for you and it sounds like you’ve got a sensible and more sustainable plan going forwards. Perhaps experiencing this job situ has given you the lens to be able to know what you need. It is positive that you realised that it wasn’t good for you and has led you to prioritising your needs just now.

No breaks is unacceptable. Yanbu even without the anxiety.

I'm applying for jobs with fixed days/hours so I have structure and a plan
And also starting at 25 and working up that way

This is an excellent plan, and shows you’re really serious about looking after your mental health. You also recognised when you were in a bad situation for you, and took action. You’re not a failure, you’re doing great.

I’m so sorry to hear you lost your mum.

How is making smart decisions about your health being a failure? You recognised early that the role was not going to work for you. That's really positive.

Absolutely look for roles that have set hours and are generally better at treating the staff well. It is shocking that you didn't get a break. I hope you made it really clear to them that you left due to their poor treatment.

Big hugs for you.

No, you are not a failure. Quite the opposite. Your employer was acting unlawfully (you are entitled to 20 min protected break every 6h and I am pretty certain there has to be minimum of 11 hours between shifts). So well done for refusing to take a shit job offer.

Not a failure at all, quite the opposite.

You recognised this was not right for you, and took the steps you had to take to protect yourself.

The new plan sounds like a great place to start.

I wish you luck in your search, and hope you find the perfect fit.

You did the right thing 100%

I gave up work many years ago as my dc have SEN, they are worsening so
dh also gave up 2 years ago. We are so much happier and dc are doing better with the care we can now give them, sometimes you have to take the path that everyone tells you is ‘wrong’ but they are generalising and it’s actually the 100% right thing for you and that’s all that matters

Thanks everyone
So it's not a break if it's taken at my reception?
I didn't think it was
I'm gonna take today just to sort my head out and get stuck in from tomorrow job hunting

Thanks for being so nice and not judgemental
I know it's stupid but little things like not knowing what i was working next week made me so upset and on edge
Also I always know when i am anxious because I don't sleep

I think you've done very well to stick by your morals and boundaries. Especially when some of the things you mention breaks employment law.
Have you considered school office/reception work?

You’ve absolutely done the right thing. Well done for recognising that this would be no good for your health.
Part time and fixed hours sounds like just what you should do. Good luck op.

You are entitled to 20 minutes of uninterrupted break. So no, it’s not a break if you are still on duty and are expected to take calls/interact with customers etc.
It’s worth familiarising yourself with basic aspects of employment law for the next time.
I would also look into reasonable adjustments as you have a long-term condition and should be entitled to a workplace assessment and adjustments to help you remain healthy in work.

Not knowing your shift till Sunday is a big thing, not little at all. I wouldn't ever be able to do a job that was so unknown. It just isn't something that would work for me. It's OK if that doesn't work for you.

Appalling conditions. U r not a failure.

They only had 1 person on reception so you could never just slip away for a break
Anyway on wards and up wards
I think there should be loads of Christmas temp jobs soon
Even if I get one of those to tide me over a little bit.

https://www.gov.uk/rest-breaks-work

This tells you what you need to know about breaks.

That job sounds awful, but you haven't let it set you back. You've learned from it and hopefully your next job will suit you better. You'll get there.

Forgot to add working Christmas Day /Boxing Day /new year
Which I know is normal but it just feels so depressing working there alone at Christmas with no break either

No you made a very sensible and well thought out decision.

That job sounds grim for anyone, and anyone doing it would want to move on as fast as possible, but in your case it would not have allowed you to take care of yourself which would hamper your recovery.

Stupidly they posted on our local news page and one comment was
"This hotel whenever I look is recruiting ,it must be like the bates hotel the amount of staff they go through "

Alarm bells should have rang
The girl yesterday who showed me around said they normally get 6 months from each receptionist which also set alarm bells

I don't understand why they can't do rotas two weeks in advance or at least set up breaks and organise a duty manager to cover while receptionist takes there lunch

It was min wage but they wanted all that effort

No, you were right to quit. Those conditions are abusive and unsustainable for anyone for any significant amount of time. I expect they have high turnover.