I quit my job and now feel like a failure -was aibu?

[looneyprincess]

I've posted multiple times so I apologise if you have read them or don't want to read again.
I hadn't been working for a while because after my mum died I had a breakdown
I had anxiety and depression and I couldn't leave the house
After a few years I thought I had built myself up and last week returned to a job.
40 hours as a hotel receptionist
I got there and they told me I would get my shifts on a Sunday for the Monday and week ahead
They didn't give me any breaks on a 8 hour shift
I had to eat at the reception if I could
Shifts finishing at 11pm then back 7 am
They have told me all bank holidays I will be working
Basically it's sent me to have anxiety and panic attacks
Haven't slept since Thursday last week
Well obviously a few hours
Crying and getting myself worked up

I think I've jumped in too quick
So I quit
I still have my UC claim with LCWRA so I'm no worse off but I have no job now

I think if I hadn't I would of had a breakdown

So now I'm applying for jobs with fixed days/hours so I have structure and a plan
And also starting at 25 and working up that way
Rather than jumping in

I'm not a failure am I ?
I still take me medication and have taken double today

Well done for recognising it was a shit job so quickly.

You have boundaries and knew it wasn't going to work so there's no point hanging on.

The lack of a proper break and 8 hours between shifts is against the law anyway and late notice of shifts is really bad practice.

I hope you find something better soon.

Job issues aside - sounds like you made the best decision for you which is positive.

What support do you have re your mental health? Can you make an appointment to speak with someone? It sounds as though this has had a massive impact on you emotionally and practical support in real life might be useful? Just concerned that you said you'd doubled your medication - if you feel you need a different dose please see GP or CMHT if you're with them to make sure you're on right dose etc!

Returning back to work is hard and sometimes what seems like a good idea at the time isn't. That's not failure. It's actually a success that you've recognised it and taken action and have an action plan around what to do next knowing what is workable for you!

Tbh my mental health has been okay lately
The pressure of this job has just took its toll I think
I don't drive so would be paying for taxis
Then I was worrying about spending £280 a month on taxis
So I felt like I was putting myself through it for nothing
The late shift there was no busses after 11 you see.
Then I got myself worked up about not knowing what I was working

I think a job with set days /hours I could manage and maybe start smaller

Re my medication I dropped down to half a tablet and he told me to take 1 (double dose ) if I needed as
I think after a few days il be okay again

I just have triggers and this was one of them

Well done for getting rid - it sounds like they don't know how to treat their employees properly! Easy to forget we're not indentured slaves, a job needs to work for you as well as them.

Have you appreciated whether there is going to be any impact on your UC claim though? You're not really allowed to pick & choose what job you do. Presumably you informed them, or they will find out through HMRC as your employer will have signed you up for PAYE.

@shuffleofftobuffalo thankfully it doesn't impact my claim as I have LCWRA so have no work commitments

@shuffleofftobuffalo yeah I updated yesterday with starting job then today that I left
Also put a note in my journal

You're not unreasonable, your former employers were breaking the law. You have to have a break by law and at least 12 hours between shifts.

Take the time to find a job you really like where they will be good employers.

Ah that's good ☺️ best of luck with finding something more suitable - it will be out there!

Lesson I've also learned the hard way before - ask lots and lots of questions once you've been offered the job, go in eyes wide open to minimise the nasty surprises.

This is what people are a really talking about when they say 'British people don't want to work bur foreigners will. We need immigration to sustain the job market'. No, British people are just less likely to accept being exploited to a ridiculous degree. No one should be exploited but hospitality in general is full of exploited foreigners working daft hours and eventually becoming ill because of it. All to make some pricks a huge profit. I know because I've been there and.worked for them too OP. Honestly just leave the industry full stop, it's toxic.

OP, those expectations are insane! You are totally doing the right thing - much better to get out early and protect yourself - that is the opposite of failure.

The actual job itself I think I would of enjoyed as I picked it up quickly and love reception with
The hours /rotas /breaks was just too much