Mother In law left my kids with a stranger

[Caro2322]

My mother in law left my 5 and 4 years old kids with a lady (mum who had a baby and another boy) who just met at the park to go for 10 mins back to her house to pick some water for them.
when she arrived at home without them I panicked when she told me she left them with this lady she just met. she told me they were ok and they were having fun.
i was in shock I put my shoes on and ran to see them.
i understand the mum could have been a very charming lady, however she still is a completely stranger and my kids were left alone with her.

when I tried to tell her respectfully to avoid to do that ever again she just ignored me and carry on walking like it was nothing.

am I being out of line here? I felt absolutely angry and shocked.

This is the kind of thing my mum would have done (she was a parent in the 70s/80s) and that's why she was never allowed/encouraged to look after any of her grandchildren! She had the general perception that any other women with children were fine to be trusted with children/seek advice from.
The irony with her is that she would have been furious if someone else dumped their kids on her, mind!

Here we go...

Kids weren't just left with random people back then either

Jeez!

I'm in my 70s and I never left my children with someone I didn't know!

Hmmmm. Would I hand my dog to a stranger in a park while I popped home for 10 minutes? No I bloody well wouldn’t. So how in any realm could your Mil think leaving your children was a safe thing to do? Obviously she can’t ever look after them again.
Hope you’ve got over the shock.

Mil here..good grief no. Most grandparents are more careful than parents with their grandchildren.

Can’t believe what I’ve just read. I would never trust her with my children again.

I totally agree. I would have to be unconscious or dead before I ever allowed my grandson out of my sight caring for him whilst out in public.

I think it was a lapse of judgement to do it, but I don't go along with the 'she's insane, I'd never speak to her again' line of thinking.

It's sad really, that we live somewhere with so little sense of community that a grandmother can't leave 2 children with another woman for 10 minutes.

She was definitely wrong not to acknowledge you (and apologise!) when you spoke to her about it.

😵

Nope. Nope nope nope.

It's sad really, that we live somewhere with so little sense of community that a grandmother can't leave 2 children with another woman for 10 minutes.

We live on planet Earth, not Utopia.

In 1950, the average age of a mother in the UK at her first birth was 24.5 years old. So born in 1925... I'm assuming OPs MIL isn't approaching her 100th birthday...

@Caro2322 absolute madness on mil's part. I'm so sorry. Question is was it a temporary lapse in judgement or part of a pattern? Her reaction doesn't bode well.

Yeah that's astonishingly negligent.

Nope.....

Well, that's the last time she's unsupervised with your children..

Omg, that is completely reckless of her 😱

I was born in the second half of the 1950s. My parents were born in the early 1920s. Both my parents were intelligent, but my mother did almost all of the child rearing, and housekeeping - as was usual in those days in certain communities. My mother would have never left me in the care of a stranger, no matter how short the time period. I don't think that any intelligent person would have ever done that. So to me it is a matter of intelligence, not age.

As a mother and grandmother, the only people who ever look after after my children (apart from me, their dad, and teachers) were their grandmothers, I just couldn't have relaxed if that hadn't been the case.

If anyone had ever approached me in a park etc, and asked me to watch their child for even 5 minutes, unless it was an utter emergency, I would have said:

"No, I'm sorry but I can't take on the responsibility of looking after your child/ren, please either take them with you, or buy them some water from that little cafe".

If I had had my own small children, or my grandchildren with me, I would have added:

"My grand/children would have to take priority over yours if anything happened, so it is a big no"!.

Batshit crazy behaviour, and I'm quite a relaxed parent these days!

I'm sorry but you need to go nuts, if mine did this I would be making sure she never was left in their care again!!!!! wtf.... she could do been anyone. This person could have prayed on her and taken your kids!! So reckless!!!!

I'm a nana and in my 60s so don't understand this "it was ok in the 1950s" stuff as I wasn't even born then. Someone who was a mother in the 1950s would be over 90 now so, presumably, not in charge of children now.
My children were born in the 80s and 90s but I would never have done this and would never, ever do it with my GCs. I doubt my family would trust me with them again if I was this lax with their safety

It's maths...parent in 50s say 59 minimum age 16 would be 81 now her child would be 64/5 so very unlikely to have young children in the park.

I don’t think it’s a “sense of community” thing, that’s one woman left with 2 extra kids who don’t know her, what if they’d decided to run off and hide, or suddenly started bawling because where’s Grandma? Nightmare.

@TheNameIsDickDarlington My DM is a grandmother to young DC and she was born in the 1940s? My DF in the 1930s!

My in laws are really lax and aren’t ever trusted with my own kids. And even they wouldn’t do something as stupid as this.

This isn’t a generation thing at all.

Op please don't leave your kids with her again. If she can make such a dangerous decision who knows what other bad decisions she could make. The fact she then ignored when you tried to discuss her decision must be the final straw.