To be concerned about DP "fantasy"

[Summersunshine1234]

We were discussing our fantasies. I said I'd never really had any and I'm happy with just standard sex. When I asked DP she stated perhaps a threesome. I think I looked surprised and said really? She replied yes. I know she's had them in the past. With 2 men and also a man and woman. I said so you want to invite someone into our relationship and sleep with them and she said don't you think it would be fun. I said no I wouldn't feel comfortable with it if I'm honest. I said perhaps if I wasn't in a relationship but I felt it would ruin a relationship in my opinion. She then back tracked a bit and said we'll i only said it because I thought you would like to do it and now she's saying she wouldn't like one.

Aibu to be concerned DP wants to explore outside our relationship?

Thats not what you said though was it. You said you fantasise about killing people. With no other context.

So I wish great harm on the man that raped me/attacked me.
Of course I don't just think about killing random people.

Well this is different to the way you first said I fantasise about killing people on a thread discussing sexual fantasies.

I am sorry this happened to you and I now understand the context.

You can’t get jealous over a fantasy that you asked about! Particularly as she’s actually already done it… this is your insecurity, not hers…

This is not what your first message read. You commented that you fantasise about killing people on a thread about sexual fantasies.

😳

Didn’t op say the partner ( she) had had them with other men?

Another common fantasy is being watched. In reality the very same people would probably get irate if they found they had been watched

There's a difference between knowing you're being watched and not knowing.

I didnt. I said if the DP (meaning the one saying they wanted a threesome) was male it would be a very different response. I said nothing about whether the OP was male or female.

Discussing fantasies with a partner is actually fun. It shows that they are comfortable enough with each other to share things that may or may not be 'standard'. It's a nice way of knowing what each partner is willing to try. For such conversations, you have to keep an open mind and not see it as them being dissatisfied. So you being concerned doesn't make much sense.