ML wants to spend anniversary with us

[MummaEllie]

So it's our second wedding anniversary coming up shortly and my ML asked my husband as she was leaving if he wanted to come to her house for our anniversary for dinner.
Last year we was on holiday so spent it alone. Do people spent their anniversary celebrating with others or should it be a day solely for us to share our love together and celebrate our wedding anniversary?

So what I'm asking really is.. is this normal behaviour and I'm being unreasonable or is this something I need to bring up.

My ML does like to over step alot and I have had to bring things up already to her. She used to buy mothers day presents for me and give them to my son to give me when his dad had already done this and also buy her son father's day presents and give them to to my husband the day before fathers day.

Advice would be great!

@redskydarknight
I understand she wants to show her son that he's doing a great job but there are other ways.
Maybe I should have given more context to the present buying... on my sons first fathers day with his dad she called me to tell me that she picked up a card for his dad so I didn't have to. There is a difference here and that is taking over. She is the grandparent, I am the mother.

“my ML asked my husband as she was leaving if he wanted to come to her house for our anniversary for dinner”

I don’t think she asked you both. I think she asked him alone.

@cocoloco23 yea I think she was hoping he would just say yes

I do think she's overstepping a bit - of course you should be the one to buy a card on behalf of your son for first Father's Day and also celebrate your anniversary as a couple.
I think you have to set your 'norms' for these things early on - it isn't rude or unkind to say that you want to do certain things as a couple or as the parent of your own child. Obviously, include her in DH's and grandchildren's birthdays, Christmas, make a fuss of her on Mother's Day too, but no one could reasonably be offended by a couple wanting dinner alone in their own anniversary.

DH and I have been married 25 years and we still go out for dinner and make a bit of an effort - being married a long time doesn't mean you won't care about this stuff down the line. It's easy to get swamped with everyday life and it's nice to take time out to mark important occasions

@birdingbear we have been together for 11 years and stopped celebrating dating anniversary a long time ago. We would maybe just get some treats in.
We went on a late honeymoon and decided we would go on our 1st anniversary, we took our child as we didn't want to be away from him for that long and wanted to make some lovely family memories. This would be our second wedding anniversary. My husband said he wants to celebrate wedding anniversaries.

On th esurface, I don't think she sounds too bad but I suspect it's a bit more subtle as with the point about specifically telling you NOT to buy a card for your DH from your DS because she already has. I get that. I mean, I wouldn't mind if MIL bought a present for DH from the DC for father's day, but I would get a bit annoyed if she muscled in and told me I shouldn't do anything for father's day.

To answer your OP - I don't think there's a right or wrong. I think lots of people would do a wider celebration for bigger anniversaries - 10 years, 25, 50 etc - but generally, day to day are just between the couple. But it would depend on the couple and the family. So I'd just go with a "thank you but we'd like to go out just the two of us for this one."

Where do people on here find their MILsfrom?!!!!!!
No thats weird and hopefully not normal.

All these MILs need to get a grip and remember ....your sons ,daughters are only on loan to you. This is not the way to get your ticket renewed!!

I don’t think it’s weird but I’m not someone who is precious about these sorts of things and don’t need to have a romantic meal for two to celebrate, I got married in Crete and this year was lucky enough to spend my anniversary there. My mum lives out there and would have had the kids for us to go out but instead we all went out together and had a great time but it all depends on what’s important to you. Just decline the offer it’s as simple as that

Omg slightly dramatic don't you think!! I must have missed the bit where she hurt someone!! She might be a little too much but clearly it comes from a place of love. Be polite and humour her when it doesn't matter to you, but keep your boundaries when you don't want something. But there is absolutely no need to be rude.

It's not precious to want your anniversary celebration to involve just your spouse and I say that as someone who is not bothered to do much on our wedding anniversary except have a nice meal and quiet evening in.

I get having a celebration with wider family on big anniversaries but that's still up to you as a couple to decide and arrange.

She didn't even invite you to dinner, just him, which IS odd.

Can you have a pre dinner drink with nibbles with PIL; then leave the kids there and go out for dinner alone?

I think both approaches are weird.

Ask her to babysit instead as you want to celebrate your wedding anniversary and have sexy fun time after as that what partners do.
might shut her up 😂