AIBU to want to wear a mask again in my classroom

[EmsHugs]

Would like to know AIBU to not give in to this parent demand.

I am in my second trimester but still quite small so not told many people as we still have some tests etc and i am listed as high risk. It is my first pregnancy after years of infertility, failed IVf and and I am being super cautious. Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid and was very ill so since returning to school I have chosen to wear a mask, particularly as I have still to get several of the vaccinations like flu, whooping cough etc.

A parent of a child has put in a complaint and said I should remove the mask because it makes their child anxious but I have said while I am sorry their child does not like the mask, due to current health issues I will not. They have now made accusations that I am a poor teacher and not respectful of their child's issues, however as a high school teacher I have over 500 pupils in and out my classroom every week and want to every precaution I can to protect my baby. The school are aware why I am doing this and said they will explain to the parent but several of my colleagues, friends and family members are still not awaresi am pregnant so I do not particularly feel I should have to divulge this to a parent and that stating my health concerns should be sufficient. I have even sat with the child and explained that I wear the mask to protect myself and that I need to wear it for now but that may change later but I appreciate them being understanding. The pupil seemed to be okay but the parent continues to be adament and I believe it is because I have immediately not given into them and stood my ground.

The stress of this parent sending complaints everytime this child is in my class 4 times a week, is getting me very stressed so I would like to know:

AIBU to not divulge at the moment the reason I need to wear a mask
AINBU the parent needs to realise they cannot get everything they want.

Rubbish: FFP33 masks stop you from catching one.

It’s a perfectly reasonable adjustment in those circumstances. People don’t understand how at risk immunocompromised people are. Covid isn’t just a cold to them, it can be life threatening. 200 people a week in the UK are still dying from it and most of them will be vulnerable in one way or another, though not all. OP has every right to protect herself and her baby and it seems her workplace agrees.

OP, I think parent is harassing and trying to bully you with complaints every time the child is in your class and I would ask the school to address this with the parent. You do not have to disclose your health conditions to parents.

@EmberAsh it's well known that Scotland's school summer holidays are end of June to early/mid August. This has been the case for at least 80 years so it is bizarre that every summer someone comes along showing complete ignorance of this. Just to add to the education differences- Scotland also had their exam results about 2 weeks ago (other than the minority of pupils who took GCSE or A Levels). Sorry to derail your thread for a moment OP.

YANBU at all. I've been where you are, years of infertility, miscarriages etc and the anxiety about a pregnancy can knock you sick. If doing something to feel like you're protecting yourself and your baby helps you relax a little then go ahead.

How bloody entitled of the parent to think that her little darling not liking the mask trumps your health issues. I hope she's told to bog off.

Your other option is the covid rule of teaching from the front only and not helping!

Could you take the mask off to teach and then wear it when helping pupils?

Or why not move this pupil into a different class?

Even for health reasons?

It’s not forever is it. Parent needs ti get a grip- 1 pupil in 500, ffs. Child also needs to get a grip of a mask makes them anxious- I’m not sure how they’ll cope with a hijab.

Why would it piss people off? I'd be more concerned about the staff member to be honest, that they had to or felt they had to wear a mask to protect themselves.

Still not sure how it's relevant to OP but apparently I'm not allowed to interact with you on a public forum.
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The bottom line here is if the school is happy for you to wear one, they need to shut down the complaints from this parent and say they won’t be engaging further on the matter.
Whilst it might be helpful for them (in terms of trying to make this fo away) to provide the context of pregnancy/immuno compromised to the complainant, this is your private information and you are quite within your rights to say no. That’s the conversation you need to have.

I’d hate the mask wearing and I don’t think teachers should be wearing them. But it’s your choice so if the school supports you, crack on. I don’t think it’s a big deal to tell people at 19 weeks.

I hope you start your mat leave as soon as you possibly can.

Thank you and to others who have pointed out that those of us with hearing loss or who are deaf really struggle with people wearing face coverings. Would imagine even pupils with good hearing will struggle at times to hear what the OP is saying. Pupils aren’t going to say anything though realistically.
My advice to the OP is it sounds like you are experiencing anxiety. This a condition many people get signed off work with and perhaps you should be reconsidering your stance on whether you are actually fit to attend work. Counselling would probably help.

I know of an incident during autumn 2021 where a policeman was told by a person who has hearing loss they couldn’t understand him and the policeman refused to take the mask off when asked! The person with hearing loss walked away as a result and then got into a bit of bother. It was all resolved in the end but what really annoyed me was the situation was avoidable had the policeman used common sense and bothered to acquaint himself with the regulations at the time, which allowed for face coverings to be removed in situations like that. I have my suspicions why the idiot didn’t oblige.

I think @Werweisswohin must be the parent tbh

It's your choice and the parent doesn't get to bully you. What I would say is that distance helps reduce the chances of catching a virus spread by droplet infection, such as covid, colds & flu. A reasonable compromise might be not wearing a mask when you are speaking from the front of your class and are able to be more distant. This will help those with hearing difficulties and those who are fearful of masks.

You could then wear an fp3 mask when you are working with pupils close up.

As a pregnant woman you are entitled to a free NHS flu vaccine. You might want to consider getting it as soon as you possibly can and before your class have theirs. They are available privately from some pharmacies from the 16th September if you can't get one early enough on the NHS.

While none of this is their business, some understanding of your vulnerability might make people more understanding. However, you now say it is only one parent and you have the school’s full support. If that is the case, it is easily contained. The one family will have to lump it. And, as it also now appears you teach a subject specialism, you are not a form teacher teaching the same children all day every day, the impact is minimal. The child will have other lessons in other subjects with unmasked teachers and see you only a few times a week. It’s really not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

I'd be annoyed - my child has a language disorder. While she can hear everything said - she does rely heavily on cues like body language, gesture and facial expression to access the meaning of what's being said... so you're screwing her education over.

There's more to accessing what someone's telling you than just the simple mechanics of hearing loss - so flicking through the class SEN file and assuming it'll be fine is just half arsing the job.

This is a high school not a primary school. The child should be able to cope with a teacher wearing a mask for a period of time. Presumably they have no SEN that require you not to wear a mask as you haven’t mentioned any. It’s hardly every teacher every lesson and you have your reasons. The parent should absolutely not be emailing in to complain all the time- how ridiculous. They need to teach their child that the world doesn’t revolve around them

Maybe if the parent knew you would only be wearing the mask temporarily due to health reasons eg for next 15 weeks or whatever, they would calm down? So could you share that with them?

You need to put yourself first OP

Well that's not completely true as otherwise they wouldn't wear them in medical world.
I have worn them myself in such a setting it is a barrier.

This was my understanding too

Where are you teaching? Obviously not in the UK, as the schools haven't returned yet from summer holidays. Do you wear your mask everywhere you go or just when you are teaching?

If the school are happy you for you to wear a mask, you can wear a mask. The child’s anxiety does not trump your immune-compromised system or pregnancy. The parent should be referred to SLT every single time.

I'm a parent, definitely not the parent. You know it's possible to see two sides, right?

Where are you? Obviously not in the UK or you'd know that's not true. Our schools have been back for a week already in Scotland. Thinking of doing a PSA for all ignorant people in any of the other UK countries who somehow still don't know this despite it being true for at least nearly a century...