AIBU to want to wear a mask again in my classroom

[EmsHugs]

Would like to know AIBU to not give in to this parent demand.

I am in my second trimester but still quite small so not told many people as we still have some tests etc and i am listed as high risk. It is my first pregnancy after years of infertility, failed IVf and and I am being super cautious. Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid and was very ill so since returning to school I have chosen to wear a mask, particularly as I have still to get several of the vaccinations like flu, whooping cough etc.

A parent of a child has put in a complaint and said I should remove the mask because it makes their child anxious but I have said while I am sorry their child does not like the mask, due to current health issues I will not. They have now made accusations that I am a poor teacher and not respectful of their child's issues, however as a high school teacher I have over 500 pupils in and out my classroom every week and want to every precaution I can to protect my baby. The school are aware why I am doing this and said they will explain to the parent but several of my colleagues, friends and family members are still not awaresi am pregnant so I do not particularly feel I should have to divulge this to a parent and that stating my health concerns should be sufficient. I have even sat with the child and explained that I wear the mask to protect myself and that I need to wear it for now but that may change later but I appreciate them being understanding. The pupil seemed to be okay but the parent continues to be adament and I believe it is because I have immediately not given into them and stood my ground.

The stress of this parent sending complaints everytime this child is in my class 4 times a week, is getting me very stressed so I would like to know:

AIBU to not divulge at the moment the reason I need to wear a mask
AINBU the parent needs to realise they cannot get everything they want.

Another attempt at shut down perchance: 'get a grip'.
How about you just ignore my comments?

Scottish school term starts mid August.

Time for the head to tell this parent to fuck off, I think.

or remove her child.

I hope your pregnancy progresses well, OP.

This. The reason we wore masks was to protect others, not ourselves.

I don't really understand why the Japan reference was relevant to start with......

During covid I wore a mask when moving around the class and in corridors etc, but took it off when standing at the top of the classroom teaching.

Yes, some Scottish schools went back last week. Ours return this week.

Of course you should not have to divulge your condition to anyone.

However - you have said yourself you know that the mask probably wont make any difference.

IMO teachers shouldn't be wearing masks.

You've had a tough road, and your anxiety is understandable. You're 19 weeks and just try to focus on eating well, resting and being sensible. Take it week by week. If wearing a mask makes you feel better, then do that, although you know it'll make a minimal impact.. Good luck, though, teaching is hard anyway without this.

Isn't it interesting how your thread has become a microcosm of exactly what's happening in your classroom? We all know we do not have to disclose our medical information to anybody unless we want to, and that people demanding to know isn't a reason to disclose anything. Yet here on this thread you have people berating you for drip feeding rather than recognising that it's none of their business. Your question was clear- whether you have to disclose the medical information that you are pregnant- and the answer is equally clear- no you do not have to tell the parent about your pregnancy if you do not wish to. That's it. But people are people and will launch in with their opinions and scoffing rather than just answer a clear question. Good luck with the pregnancy OP and let this thread be a small practice for dealing with all the opinions you'll get given over the next few years regarding your pregnancy and parenting. You can do this mama.

Despite thinking teaching with a mask is difficult... As a new mother you will learn pretty quick that you are the prime advocate for your baby and you have absolutely every human right to wear that mask. Don't you dare take it off for anyone but you.

As for the anxious child? I'd be advising that parent to parent and work through it. They've complained, you've said no, they need to head to plan B and work through it.

Good luck!

Most Scottish schools went back last week, the rest this week. The UK is bigger than England.

@Inkypot lovely response. And perfectly said. 99% of posters just missing the point of the post entirely, as usual on MN. Yours is lovely 💕

I was going to mention this. My DS has mild hearing loss and finds it very difficult when people wear masks. He isn’t the only one. Teachers wore clear shields instead for this reason.

I also thought it had been shown that they’re more to protect others than yourself - unless you have a proper fit tested one.

Drip feeding happens when someone doesn't give the whole picture to start with, which is essentially what OP did (intentionally or not). Nobody is forcing her to reveal anything or even post, but as she's chosen to post she does have to provide enough information for an adequate response, otherwise it's all a bit pointless. HTH

Then maybe you shouldn't have commented...
Happy to explain. The parents are worried about child's anxiety over something that is fairly trivial. The child was spoken to by the OP and did not appear overly concerned about the mask, yet the parent keeps pestering the school resulting in the OP's own anxiety over having to divulge personal information.
If the parents are expecting their child to never come into contact with a masked person, they better ensure the child remains totally insular and never takes a trip to a country where wearing a mask is a norm. Any reasonable parent who ventured outside of their own postcode would understand the wider implications of their actions.
As OP said multiple times, she does not want people's opinions on whether or not she should wear a mask. I am guessing the vast majority of the posters went to school when masks were not on scene and yet are still struggling with their reading comprehension. The issue is probably not the mask then, is it?
And just in case you feel tempted, it was a rhetorical question. No need for further contribution from you.

Depends what type of mask. Ffp3 will actually protect you well. Perhaps do a bit of research 1st before posting!

No, you don’t have to share your medical details with a parent.

I don’t believe the mask will be doing much to protect you, however, if it makes you feel better and able to continue working then go for it.

I wish you all the best for this pregnancy and hope everything goes smoothly from here.

Exactly.
A life we are being sold, huh?
☹️

One out of 500? I wouldn't pay any attention and also find it hard to believe a student from high school would be worried about masks when it was normal for so long.
My DD did have to move closer to the teachers when they were wearing a mask (quite a few did and quite a few didn't) as she has limited hearing in her left ear.
I'm not sure it will protect you but if it makes you feel more comfortable and reduces the risk even slightly I'd carry on.
If the parent is so worried (doesn't sound like their kid cares) perhaps they should remove their child and home educate.

My SEN child would find a teacher in a mask really difficult and may struggle to understand what you are teaching BUT if I was told it was health related I would except it as ‘one of those things’. If my child still couldn’t understand I’d politely ask if as a reasonable adjustment the school might consider moving them. This wouldn’t be a complaint, just negotiating two valid but conflicting needs. Basically YANBU and as your employer the school should now be taking over communication with parent and resolving it for you.

I have lung disease. Have you had any covid boosters? Vitamin D and C is also helpful. TBH if I ever get it, it's been around early/mid October.

I think you need to keep in mind that parents will not raise this for no reason. Seeing a face is vital for communication and communication is vital for teaching. I found masks were a huge impediment to my effectiveness as a teacher three years ago.

If you are interacting closely with ill children, you will likely catch a cold from them regardless of whether you wear a mask. If they are visibly ill they shouldn’t be in school and if they have no symptoms of illness there is nothing for you to catch.

I’m not here to tell you that you shouldn’t, but I do think you need to understand why parents would consider it detrimental to their children’s learning and pointless. Presumably they will find out that you are pregnant in a month or so, but even then, they are likely to think you are being ridiculously anxious to the detriment of their children.

I thought you were going to say you taught young children when you said it made them anxious. If it was my child I would not make a big thing about it but I did struggle to hear what people were saying in masks which would be a problem in a classroom. Also you can't read expressions so kind of cut people off from you.

Some children would not be able to hear you...I would have been one of them. Before covid masks were never a thing and you would have not dreamt of wearing one. I think you are being unreasonable.