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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to wear a mask again in my classroom

487 replies

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 08:05

Would like to know AIBU to not give in to this parent demand.

I am in my second trimester but still quite small so not told many people as we still have some tests etc and i am listed as high risk. It is my first pregnancy after years of infertility, failed IVf and and I am being super cautious. Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid and was very ill so since returning to school I have chosen to wear a mask, particularly as I have still to get several of the vaccinations like flu, whooping cough etc.

A parent of a child has put in a complaint and said I should remove the mask because it makes their child anxious but I have said while I am sorry their child does not like the mask, due to current health issues I will not. They have now made accusations that I am a poor teacher and not respectful of their child's issues, however as a high school teacher I have over 500 pupils in and out my classroom every week and want to every precaution I can to protect my baby. The school are aware why I am doing this and said they will explain to the parent but several of my colleagues, friends and family members are still not awaresi am pregnant so I do not particularly feel I should have to divulge this to a parent and that stating my health concerns should be sufficient. I have even sat with the child and explained that I wear the mask to protect myself and that I need to wear it for now but that may change later but I appreciate them being understanding. The pupil seemed to be okay but the parent continues to be adament and I believe it is because I have immediately not given into them and stood my ground.

The stress of this parent sending complaints everytime this child is in my class 4 times a week, is getting me very stressed so I would like to know:

AIBU to not divulge at the moment the reason I need to wear a mask
AINBU the parent needs to realise they cannot get everything they want.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 19/08/2024 08:09

Even in the height of Covid we didn’t wear masks to teach in; it’s just not feasible.

Sirzy · 19/08/2024 08:10

It makes it harder for a lot of pupils for a variety of reasons. I don’t think school staff wearing masks all the time is a good idea.

CosmicDaisyChain · 19/08/2024 08:14

Sorry. I think you may have health anxiety or something because this really isn't going to protect you anyway. We know that masks don't stop us catching anything. You'll still catch things anyway.

Rocknrollstar · 19/08/2024 08:14

Masks help stop you spreading an infection, they don’t stop you catching one.

cansu · 19/08/2024 08:15

I think that yes you should be able to wear a mask. If only one child in 500 has an issue with it the parent needs to wind their neck in. However I think you should also consider speaking to your doctor to find out whether this is actually necessary or whether this is more an anxiety issue. Maybe what you actually need is some time off work sick.

TeenToTwenties · 19/08/2024 08:15

I'm torn.
I completely see your point.
But my DD had a complete breakdown in the pandemic and us not yet fully recovered. She would find it hard to be taught by a teacher in a mask. I wouldn't complain though, I'd try to help DD cope.
Would sick leave/going on maternity early be an option for you in any way? Guess not.

Jjiillkkf · 19/08/2024 08:16

Is there any evidence a mask is of any use?

TomeTome · 19/08/2024 08:16

I don’t think you need to tell anyone what condition is causing your behaviour. You could have any number of issues that made contracting infections problematic. However have you actually been told to wear a mask in school? I don’t think it’s an amazingly effective way of avoiding contamination. Do you keep the windows open and wash your hands regularly? Are you avoiding public places like cinemas and restaurants? I guess I’m asking if it really is necessary?

Recoverymoreprotein · 19/08/2024 08:18

The normal paper mask won’t help. You will need a higher qualifity one.

Marinel · 19/08/2024 08:18

As others have said, we were told to wear a mask to protect others in case we had an infection. Not to protect yourself. So wearing a mask is illogical and unlikely to help.

UtterlyQuackers · 19/08/2024 08:18

Can they move class?

I don't think the child feeling anxious trumps you feeling like you wish to wear a mask. It is your decision to wear a mask and it should be respected.

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:19

I don't think teachers wearing a mask should be encouraged tbh.
It's a false sense of security too, because you're not actually protecting yourself from anything.

CherieBabySpliffUp · 19/08/2024 08:19

Are you wearing FFP3 ones which protect you from others? If you're wearing anything else then it's a waste of time so yes YABU to wear one.
You shouldn't have to divulge your personal information to the parent and the head of year or someone should be having a conversation with them stating that this is what you are doing, it will not change and they need to stop contacting you about it.

Leavetheminthebowl · 19/08/2024 08:21

You don't need a mask. It's not going to prevent you from getting ill.

Even in the height of Covid, I didn't wear one to teach in during my pregnancy. It's so difficult to teach well with a mask on - pupils need to be able to read your facial expressions.

I understand your anxiety about getting ill but a mask isn't going to help.

Moonopoly · 19/08/2024 08:21

All those saying masks don’t protect you are not correct. Paper blue masks yes only protect the other person but masks with proper filtration do protect you.

MyKidsAreTooNoisy · 19/08/2024 08:22

Well I think masks are of very limited use to you. But re your specific question I don’t think you’re unreasonable to wear a mask and not give the full reasons. Sounds like the child’s mother has her own issues / agenda to be repeatedly complaining. It would make me more adamant in wearing the mask and I would not feel stressed about it, but perhaps I’m odd and difficult.

Original poster
EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 08:22

Thanks for the feedback so far. I'm just 19 weeks so early mat leave is not an option. I would also not like to abandon my classes and go off sick when I don't need to as it is hard to get a replacement cover for my subject easily and I don't want it to impact their learning. I am be very careful. I had bad morning sickness too which is starting to ease so not really been out and about. I explained to my classes that I haven't been well and that I am wearing the mask just to minimise if I can infections and none of them had an issue been lots of hand cleaning. My school doesn't have open windows, they use a air-conditioning system which isn't brilliant

I spoke to my GP and they said the mask might be minimal but it would perhaps prevent droplets from pupils etc when I have to work and lean over them.

OP posts:
DietrichandDiMaggio · 19/08/2024 08:22

YANBU to not share with a parent your medical info, but YABU to wear a mask, as others have said.

ToD101 · 19/08/2024 08:22

I hope none of your 500 pupils have any kind of hearing loss.

LividSummers · 19/08/2024 08:23

Parent is a dick. Ignore and don’t respond. Probably have some antivax mandate and it’s riling them up.

If you’re wearing a proper mask, properly, and taking all other precautions then crack on.

If you had to go sick and they had cover teachers they’d be complaining about that.

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:23

Moonopoly · 19/08/2024 08:21

All those saying masks don’t protect you are not correct. Paper blue masks yes only protect the other person but masks with proper filtration do protect you.

I honestly don't think that a teacher standing at the front wearing such a mask is conducive to creating a good teaching environment.

Sweetteaplease · 19/08/2024 08:23

YABU. It's not fair on the kids to have a teacher wearing a mask. Your face is needed for communication

Keepingongoing · 19/08/2024 08:23

A basic mask won’t protect you but the higher spec masks ( FFP2 ) given more protection. It wouldn’t be illogical to wear one at all. Ventilation is also supposed to help so open windows…

gamerchick · 19/08/2024 08:24

But masks don't stop you catching virusus though. An airborne virus just has to float into your eyes, are you going to wear goggles as well?

If it truly makes you feel safer then don't give in to demands but there may be kids who have undiagnosed as yet hearing issues and not being able to watch your mouth might make them anxious. Maybe the kid needs to be moved to another class to keep everyone happy.