To feel like a failure for being too scared to do this presentation?

[pinksunsets]

This isn't part of my main job (where luckily I'm never asked to present) but a freelance offer that has come my way. I would be paid essentially for a day's work but to prep for it would take several days plus it's not for a few weeks and I know I'll spend those few weeks feeling anxious/terrified. I haven't said yes or no yet and I'm already anxious thinking about it. It's on a topic that I am an expert in and would normally have fun talking about. If I wasn't so scared I would love to be the type of person to do it. But I'm not! Even in group meetings on my small team, once I've said my bit I don't tend to interject afterwards. I'm always nervous about speaking in groups and now this would be a presentation to 500 people!

I did think for a while maybe I could do it but now I'm thinking of saying no and feel like a failure for not having the guts to do it. I know I probably need to step out of my comfort zone but this feels like such an extreme leap and it seems like a lot of stress for not much gain apart from the prestige.

I would strongly recommend hypnotherapy for this. Really helped me.

Sometime, to get on with your career, you need. To step outside your comfort zone.

If you totally screwed this up what was the consequence? If you totally nailed it how great would you feel?

Beta blockers - they will calm the physical side of the nerves so you can focus on presenting

It's not failing to know when something isn't right for you and having the courage to decline.

I know I probably need to step out of my comfort zone but this feels like such an extreme leap and it seems like a lot of stress for not much gain apart from the prestige.

Why do you think you "need" to push yourself to do this when it won't benefit you?

I think it's a huge leap for someone who doesn't particularly want to do it, isn't comfortable with this in a low stakes setting, and won't actually benefit from it.

If you wanted to learn public speaking skills, I'd have suggested starting smaller and working up. It is a skill to present well to audiences, it's not just about managing nerves.

You need to think about the pros and cons of doing the presentation and then make a decision (you could write a list). Will this presentation help to further your career? Do you need the extra money that you will get for doing it? You also need to think about how you are feeling. If the presentation is going to result in a few days’ work and cause you weeks of stress then you need to think if it is actually worth it, especially if all you are going to get from it is one day’s pay. Only you can make the right decision. Good luck! 🌺

I do this for a living. It definitely takes 3 or 4 days to prepare (for example) a 3-hour training course and potentially longer if you're writing the content too.

Make sure you are being reimbursed appropriately for the time you will actually spend on it.

It sounds to me like you're not scared of the content of the presentation, but of presenting, a sort of performance anxiety. How long is the presentation meant to be? It's possible to give quite a good presentation, even if you are not used to it, by following some fairly simple guidelines, and if you do manage to do it, then it might give you confidence for the future. On the other hand, if it's a freelance gig that you think won't affect your future career, then it's also legitimate to decide that it's not worth the stress, for you at this time.

If you do decide to do it, here's a few tips that I often give to students:

1. Powerpoint (or similar) slides can really help with the structure. Plan (very) roughly 1 slide per 2 minutes' talking, and don't put too much stuff on each slide. Generally, 1 or 2 images and/or a few point-form statements suffice.
2. If the talk is very short (under 20 mins) or you are inexperienced, there's no harm in writing a script. Time yourself calmly reading a text of a known length to work out how long it should be (I aim for about 100 words per minute of presentation). Write it in quite colloquial language: no-one wants to follow the density of an academic article in a presentation. So, word-for-word, it will have less content than an academic article.
3. Structure really is everything. Plan it like you would an essay, with intro, conclusion, and supporting narrative in the middle, and (as in point 1) use the slides to keep you on track (a slide functions a bit like a paragraph in an essay).
4. Practise your presentation, in front of a line of stuffed animals if you can't recruit a friend or two.
5. Nobody ever does a perfect presentation, even after many years of experience. Your audience will be quite forgiving! They are interested in hearing what you have to say, and not examining you!

Propanalol. Your doctor will give you it, musicians take it for stage fright, one tablet about an hour before, you will be fine,

I have read about propanalol but that does seem a bit extreme taking medication for a one-off presentation...

I think it's because I've always said no to these types of freelance offers which involve public speaking and now I feel like I should say yes at some point. I have no desire/real need in my main job to learn public speaking although I wish I was better at being more confident in groups!

Thanks! The main reason I'd be doing this is for the prestige rather than the money as the company that asked me is very prestigious! I have worked with them before though in other capacities.

Thanks for the tips! These are great!

I agree. And it's not ideal for musicians to become reliant on medication for performance anxiety, either. Far better to know that you are well prepared, have strategies for dealing with the consequences of nerves, and most importantly forgive yourself for small flubs arising from nerves.

Presentations are much easier than musical performances (at least in my field of music), because there's far greater leeway for mistakes before the communication of meaning is impaired. You can say, "um, ah, err" loads, and apologise for changing slides too fast, etc. without upsetting anyone reasonable, but "error recovery", as in, covering for an (inevitable) mistake so well that either no-one notices, or they think you meant it that way, is a bread-and-butter skill for a musician, that is often acquired surprisingly late in training.

Solution focused hypnotherapy has been brilliant for me. Good luck, OP.

Great tip, thanks! Did you go to a hypnotherapist or use a podcast/tape?

It does sound great if it works but I try not to take pills in general if I can help it even for things like headaches.

“Kalms” from Holland Barrett not a medication so easy to get

practise and have fun, try to enjoy it, show your amazing personality !

I feel your pain in regard to public speaking but I think up close and personal with 10 people is way worse than 500 who are more at a distance. What an honour to have all those people learning from you! I think this is definitely one of those situations where you have to feel the fear and do it anyway. Pick a person in the audience to direct your talk to and forget about the others then just take the questions. You’ll be epic and it will be priceless for your self confidence.

It really depends on just how anxious you are. In some cases the anxiety is disabling and it may be sensible not to take on the presentation, especially as it isn't an essential part of your job.

Alternatively, propranolol, prescribed by your doctor, might take the edge off the anxiety, just enough to enable you to perform in front of a large audience. And you could have private coaching and practice which would provide a safe space to try out delivering the material you have prepared.

If you are not a confident speaker and have never done something like this before, I would not plunge into such a public and prestigious forum without first undertaking some of these measures.

It's definitely very public and very prestigious. Part of me thinks that would force me to be good but then again I have no way of knowing because I've never presented on such a scale before!

I have a favourite quite for situations like this - life shrinks or expands in proportion with your courage.

If you possibly can, do the presentation. Don't spend days on it, if you are an expert and paid for one day's prep, then deliver a one day's worth of work presentation.

I hate public speaking, the thinks that helps me are to think about "what's the worst that could happen" and plan for it. People could be bored and not like the presentation (so what, you still get paid) or you could forget what you were going to say (have prompt cards). Stuff like that.

I also find remembering that whatever happens, it will be over at a certain point, and focusing on how you'll feel afterwards is helpful.

If it’s not for a few weeks and you are already feeling anxious, then maybe you consider passing on this opportunity but advising the organisation you would be available another time?

And then use the next few months to take baby steps, working your way up to where you feel comfortable speaking to a larger audience. You could also see if you have a Toastmasters local to you where you can get upskilled.

You have a secure job which pays enough? This presentation would stress you out enormously and the fee would not reflect the amount of work you put into it? Then just say no. Not worth it.

That is a great quote! But I think I'm just going to end up stressing and thinking about this for weeks though so it won't just be a day's worth of work in the end....

I'm actually veering towards this at the moment. Maybe this is too big of a jump. But I do want to be more confident speaking in groups so maybe this is a sign I need to do something about it (on a smaller scale at first).