To be hating my family holiday

[Wineplz90]

Currently away on holiday with DC 7 and Partner.
Absolutely sick and can't wait to return in three days time.
Hotel with slide and pool etc, been on trips and generally tried to do stuff they will enjoy.
All we've had is moaning and not an ounce of peace even for 5 minutes.
Won't even sleep in their own bed which is literally in touching distance from ours.
Partner has been great and we've tried to take turns doing stuff but it's still been really really hard work.
Is this very ones experience 🙄🙄🙄 I'm just disappointed I guess

Way to announce that you can’t keep your kids amused without gimmicks.

How are they in general because it sounds as if they are struggling with being out of routine and in a strange and unfamiliar space

hilidays are always seen as amazing and they are and can be but they do come with downfalls in that they are new scary and unfamiliar
One of mine struggles with the not being in their comfortable home space with activities they are unsure of and it makes them anxious

DS is a little younger, but loves all types of holidays. The main trick I've found is to mix up activities to include rest time and exciting activities. So an activity park day will be followed by a day at the beach, then a day at mueums that have stuff he's into (and we accept we won't get to look at everything as he goes round faster), then a woodland day with a castle and tons of walking, then a pyjama day where he plays with toys we brought or we might potter about near the rental... etc. Basic switching because he'd get knackered on too many big days out or bored with multiple quiet days. We do find hotels don't work well for us, a little house is much nicer where we all spread out and relax. Similar at home we mix it up; a camp day, a quiet day, a family activity day then a play date. He'll still have odd grumpy moments when he can't have 10 new toys / another boat trip or whatever, but generally chats through them quite quickly.

I think different children present different challenges to the adults looking after them. I could count on one hand the times my older child, also 7, has complained about being bored in his life. That child could have a whale of a time in the Post Office queue.

But MY GOD IS HE NAUGHTY!!! Just doesn't listen and finds 101 different ways to get into trouble. I am THAT PARENT. I hear parents around me sighing audibly at the behaviour of my two. The older one leads the toddler astray. Their father (lazy useless arse) pretends he's not with us and they're nothing to do with us. We were at a water park a few days ago and DS1 decides (about 40 feet in the air) that he's going to see if he can scale the sides of the open flume that we're on just to see if it's possible to fall out. I marched him straight out of the park afterwards.

Unless there are underlying reasons, you need to have a firm talk with your child.
Why are you letting them in your bed? They are 7 years of age and not a toddler.
Do they have books, puzzle books , colouring or anything similar that they would normally entertain themselves with? Suggest a 'quiet time' each day when you can all relax and chill, and your child entertains themselves with these.

No it’s not our experience with our only child. We do a mix of things for him and for us and things we all like. We let him bring his switch and have downtime when we read and drink wine and he plays on his switch but we also play cards and boules together and do trips / pool / beach / hikes and bikes. We don’t go anywhere too hot and we always make sure restaurants have stuff he will like. Food is probably where we’re most child-led as without ds we would be much more adventurous with food.

OP - it sounds like your child does not like being away at all. Do they avoid all new experiences? Are they anxious or routine driven at home? You need to talk to him/her and find out what they are thinking. Maybe get them to help with planning or researching the destination more if it’s the unknown that’s bothering them?

We went to Disney earlier this year and currently on a beach holiday. I’d say DC have enjoyed and moaned about both in equal measure. They are 8 & 11 and happy to play together in the pool and on the beach for most of the day. There is a fair amount of bickering but for the most part I’m glad they can entertain each other and give us a bit of respite. Most of my closest friends have one DC and I can see how it’s easier in some respects but challenging in others
particularly when it comes to going on holiday with them and needing to find ways to keep them engaged and entertained.

Holidays with young kids can be exhausting and dispiriting. I’m not one of those parents who looks back on them all with rose tinted, ‘they were amazing times’ glasses. But it does get easier as they get older (although I’m told teenagers on holiday can be a nightmare…)

This is why we've never taken ours abroad.

10 days on the coast is hard enough work.

They moan about the sand, the heat (or the rain!), being bored. They can't agree on activities, at least one of them won't want to do coastal walks or go to the local attractions etc. They squabble and wind each other up and constantly nag at me for something.

I'd want to fucking murder them if they behaved like this on a £££ trip (and abroad is £££ for us)

On the whole we always have a nice enough time but it's never a break for me. I'd be really disappointed and resentful to spend thousands going abroad when I know the kids are too young to appreciate it and its going to be harder work for me.

OP, your choice of resort would bore my 2 DC aswell, you need a kid focused hotel to keep them busy and give you a rest. The best holiday was when our oldest was 3 and could go to kids club 🤣 we only had him then, and it gave us 2 hours of bliss in the sunshine.

Why does this get asked on every thread, such a silly question

I wouldn't be letting a 7 year old ruin my holiday or demand to sleep with me tbh. Maybe toughen up. Ignore the moaning and don't let them in the bed be a parent.

Don't remember any of our children whinging on holiday (usually beach holidays). Mind you, we always said that they could whinge as much as they liked as long as they did it out of earshot. Some kids like whinging just to get a rise out of their parents 🙄

It's not a silly question it could.be quite valid. If it was a newish partner or a first holiday away with the partner that dc might be playing up or or attention seeking in a slightly insecure way and if that might be the case providing some reassurance and one to one tike might help.

I think just a beach hotel would bore many though, adult or child. I couldn’t just stay at a pool all day for 10 days, with a short walk to market.

We are off tomorrow, just a few days. Ds is only child. Will be exploring caves, castles, treeptop climbing, interactive museum, zoo. Combined with wander around town, food out, dip in lake, ice creams. Our hotel doesn’t even have a pool this time. He’s an active child at home, so he’s not going to suddenly sit next to beach chair quietly.

Will do a few days at beach and pool type place next month, but it’s a) only 3 days b) ratio of 4 adults to 1 child, including MIL who wants to spend time with Ds so they will help entertain and happily dig in sand and go in pool with him. I couldn’t do 10 days though

I also just lower expectations. I assume Ds will share our bed, not eat healthy and be up early. So anything different is a bonus

OP is your DC a boy? The only reason I ask is our DS 7 has a lot of big emotions at the minute. One day he's an absolute joy and another he's very grumpy and can't snap out of it. I did read about a big development between 6-8 for boys that affects hormones etc. I have heard similar from school mums of other boys their age.

We went to Cornell earlier this summer and his moods were so bad me and DH ended up so stressed and arguing too. We considered driving home early but stuck it out and glad we did. DS been much better over the summer holiday.

We have only ever had holidays only child dd would love so very repetitive and we’d take lots of toys and games to amuse her. That obviously changed with age. She is now 16 but when little was a water baby. My preference of all of these is all inclusive abroad with lots of Brits (to find friends). Otherwise center parcs - UK/Europe, Disney, Butlins, static caravans with a pool uk and abroad.

It is hard with young children and I understand some are really thrown out by a change in routine.

Totally disagree with this. My kids love a beach / pool / city break holiday. They've been to Disney never talk about it.

Is he just lonely?

Completely agree. Just because you're on holiday doesn't mean you stop playing with/ entertaining them 😅

Ds12 is football mad, just wants to play down the park (wherever we are). Currently on holiday, bought football, dropped him to nearby park, an hour later collected him, he was playing with a group of kids, training and kicking about, had a blast!

You’ve done your best. Kid sounds spoilt, bloody awkward and difficult.

I find holidays with my ds 6 great to be honest. Usually some moaning etc but much easier to keep busy than at home, and we have more time to play with him. Was actually saying the other day how next year we need to spend more of the summer holidays actually on holiday, because it's when we are home that he is moaning and whining 😒
Definitely get him in his own bed though, he's more than old enough! Also, places with kids clubs are great for a break and for him to make friends

Some children are fast-approach, love change and new things and adventure. Some are slow-approach and just like their own home. You can't change the one into the other, sorry!

So he’s always like this when on holiday?

Have you tried taking a friend of his with you?

Maybe he’s just a home bird.

Does the moaning get him attention?

Sometimes firmly telling them to knock it off - can help - depends on cause of moaning.

Next holiday kids club - leave with DGP ?

DH is an only child - he entertained himself on beaches across Europe with little input form his parents- though his parents did leave him home when he was cubs/scouts age for few years when he was on camp. When they invited themselves on our UK family holidays they were shocked how child focused they were - the kids were young and very energetic so we booked accordingly.

Actually this is a good point DS was often very tearful at one point around this age - it was in park another random mother said it was often a hormonal change around this age.

Though Op second post does make it sound like a long standing problem as they've tried various holidays and none seem to have her child happy.