To be a 60+ female and fed up of assumptions.

[Waitfortheguinness]

I’m in my early 60s and a few times recently, for example during drs and dentist visits, it being assumed I’m living a life of Reilly and generally got all the time in the world?
I had to have a blood test recently, the nurse (probably mid 30s) was lovely and chatty whilst doing the do. Telling me all about her lovely days out with the kids as she only needs to work a couple of days a week etc. I was telling her how busy the traffic had been on my way to the appointment etc, etc. when we’d finished she said how lovely you can go back home now, put your feet up, and have a nice cuppa!
not bloody likely after here I’ve got to fight back through all the traffic to my office where I’m still working full time….and likely to be still doing that for the next 3-5 years, thanks..
a very similar scenario at the dentists too, along the lines “Ah,, well….a trip to the dentists…gets you out n about…better than sitting at home?”
bloody cheek…..both from people in their 30s!
Do you all seriously think we’re all ladies who swan about…doing lunch and spending our kids inheritance all day?
sorry, it’s just really peed me off…..
I had a laugh with my similar aged works colleague and we both agreed that a qualified nurse in her 30s who only needs to work a couple of days a week must’ve bagged herself a decent consultant hubby on a good salary 😂

This. They don’t know if you are on a day off or whether you work shifts.

Mine still ask if I am heading back to work or don't work. They do always seem surprised that I work. I think a lot of young Drs and dentists have well off parents who are more likely to retire early. They probably do not realise how many of us have to work until state retirement age or beyond.

There’s a general assumption that you can’t possibly understand how to work a self service checkout/ have a banking app/ do online identification and any number of technology related tasks if you’re past the first flush of youth.

It's the automatic assumption that you must be available for any appointment that gets me. My dentist no longer works on my midweek day off, fine but I don't want to take annual leave for a 15 min visit another day. They keep the after 4 for school children and every one wants the early ones. I'm thinking I'll just open my mouth wide and take a photo fir them 😂

I’m 55, I have RA, I said to my doctor that I’m really tired by 1 in the afternoon, I need to nap.

She said why don’t you? Then why don’t you retire.

They don’t like me lying on the floor in the office & I’m not working for fun.

She also knows I ‘don’t mind’ when she’s an hour late.

Given the damage the last government did to bursaries for nursing in England it will shortly only be the posh gels doing it for a bit until they snag a wealthy spouse. No one from my ordinary background will be able to afford to go into it - in fact I'd say we're pretty much there already.

Id never judge anyone who works part time though as I had to do it for health reasons for a few years and it has destroyed us financially. But equally they shouldn't make stupid assumptions about their patients.

I also hope those thirty somethings understand they'll be lucky if they can retire at 75 at the rate we're going....! (And that just because they might be married to a wealthy spouse now with no money worries doesn't mean your life can't change in a heartbeat...)

I was asked by the cashier in M&S if I knew how to work a computer when I was in my late 50s, though to be fair I do come across people my age who can’t shop online.

I,m 60+ and fed up of the assumption that people ( like me) who are retired and enjoying the fruits of our hard earned labour are ‘swanning about spending our kid’s inheritance’. It’s our money to spend as we wish - with no guilt attached. You make it sound like we are being frivolous and selfish
It only becomes our kids inheritance when we are dead ( assuming we have chosen to leave it to them ).

Tbf, everyone I know that is 60 or over is happily retired.

@LoneHydrangea probably because you are middle class so know other middle class people?

It will become increasingly the norm for people to be working past 60. Lots of over 60s now will have paid off their mortgage many years ago and many will have final salary pensions. People in their later 40s are not in this boat.

Why do you think they thought OP looked older than she is? Much more likely they assumed person in sixties therefore retired.

You're being very unfair!
They've said things like that to me before and I'm young (40's)
It's a pleasant way to say you're finished, on you go.

Also, I'm in healthcare, I worked very hard all my life, got nice cars not expensive, but nice, climbed the property ladder, got married climbed the property ladder again, saved to pay off bit of my mortgage where I could.
Now I work 22 hrs a week over 2 days & I DID NOT MARRY A RICH MAN
We worked damn hard for what we have and for me to work 2 days a week.

You're just bitter and feeling your age....

I will be forever young at heart ❤️

Do you go out and about into shops, libraries etc? Go to the theatre etc? You'll see plenty of older people working.
I'm heading towards 60 and getting the 'bless you'. I do get offers of help with carrying and offered seats though.

Once, some years ago now, while I was working within a uni research lab, one of the students wondered on seeing an elderly lady in slipper boots why someone's granny was there. Fortunately not within her earshot...

Well, I suppose she was someone's grandmother but Dorothy Hodgkin was very much there for some ongoing collaboration!

Snap!

It’s small talk! How difficult must it be to come up with conversation all day. If you had an ‘in the day’ appointment maybe she assumed you’d taken the day off?

Since I retired 6 years ago, I’ve had the ‘You’re retired?’ Comment at least monthly. Do I assume they think I’m lazy or minted? No, I just think it’s chat.

@Fargo79

It wasn't obvious. None of us know you or your sense of humour and you said nothing to indicate this was a fabrication and not something you actually did. I wasn't the only person who picked up on it.

The OP ended her post with a 🤣. Generally used to imply a joke .

There are much better ways of initiating small talk, which don't make any assumptions. My dentist might ask something neutral like 'what are you doing after this' - to which I'll generally reply 'going back to do some work'.

Only certain industries gave final salary pensions. Usually people in the public sector and NHS.

Really? Goodness!

This happened to us about 5 years ago! I had had an accident and suffered an injury, which incapacitated me. I was complaining to the doctor in the orthopaedic department that they’d given me a Zimmer frame in A & E; but our downstairs toilet was too small for it. The doctor just looked at my husband - I pointed out he was working full time, 30 miles away!

The rate of employment for women aged 60-64 is only 51% though, so many were obviously in a position to retire, however that came about. Only as far back as 2010, the figure was only just over a third of women (and I believe this includes any amount of work, so just a few hours a week). It's not that surprising that people are surprised the OP works, especially as in some circles very few women over 60 will work at all.

For context I am 60 and work full time. If someone said you can go home and put your feet up for a cuppa after an appointment I'd assume it was small talk. No need to be offended ir infuriated in my view.