To not want to invite my friends waste of space bf to my wedding

[eeleeee]

She has been dating him for a couple of months, he is a walking red flag!

We are just about to send out wedding invites but i don't want him there!!

We are having a smaller than usual wedding to keep costs down but not micro so i cant really say just friends and family as others are bringing their partners bur they're all serious not like a 2 minute thing....

How do i do this

I agree with you.

This is getting to be where the expression Bridezilla is used

I don't think you can not invite him just because you don't like him. Unless you don't invite any of your friends' partners.

Can you do a +1 for your friend instead?

I would invite - you don’t say he’s abusive, just you’re picking up signals etc from him that you don’t like. But he’s your friends choice and if you care about her attending/having a good day invite him.

Just invite only her and say you’re only inviting long term partners. It’s nice, but not expected to invite someone’s very new boyfriend of a couple months, even if he’s actually lovely.

We didn’t invite dh’s cousins girlfriend to our wedding as they’d only been together 6 months. As the time got closer (about 3-4 months between invitations and wedding as we had lots of friends/family coming from abroad), another cousin broke up with his long term partner and this cousin asked if we could sub in his girlfriend instead. We did and it was fine. But it’s not a requirement to invite everyone with a plus one.

You can't really, if you're inviting other friends' partners. You won't even notice him on the day so just suck it up rather than risk alienating her when it sounds like she'll need all the support she can get.

I'd be addressing it to "Jane and Guest" rather than "Jane and Ben" though.

If the wedding is next year and they are still together, you won't be able to use the excuse that he's a new, unknown to you, boyfriend. Since you say he wouldn't be disruptive/ruin the wedding, I think you might have to accept that he's her choice and be prepared to pick up the pieces down the line. Unless you have the kind of friendship where you could tell her why you don't like him and she wouldn't hold it against you. But those friendships are rare.
Could go one of two ways - once you point it out, she might start to see what you are seeing. Or she'll ignore it, marry him and then hold it against you.
If it was me I'd not be able to hide my opinion but I think it would probably cost me the friendship and if she's very precious to you, putting up with him might be your better option.

A friend of mine had a party once and invited me but not my then partner. It affected our friendship because I felt she was making judgements that weren't her place to make. I also didn't want to be stuck there not knowing anyone else and my friend would be busy hosting, so I couldn't hang around her all night. I didn't go to the party.

So don't invite him but be prepared that she then also may refuse and it might affect your friendship. Does she know other people at the wedding? You're going to be busy so not fair to leave her stuck on her own because you don't like her boyfriend.

I had this conundrum. I asked our mutual friends (not her) whether to invite the bf, it was a unanimous no. She never questioned it tbh.

Will inviting him mean you can't invite someone you'd rather have?

Don't invite him to the day event but the evening reception only. Then place her on a table next to a very eligible bachelor so she can see what she's missing out on.

For me, you need to invite him. If you’re going to be a good host (which you should be), you cant base plus ones on whether you like them or not – you give plus ones for the comfort and pleasure of your guest, not for your own comfort or pleasure. Your friend is an independent person who can choose her own relationships and expect not to have her friends bar them from social events.

I didn't put a plus 1 on a friend's invite in a similar situation and she just RSVP'd from them both anyway!! I didn't have the nerve to argue it 😬 also I didn't want to cause an actual fight over it. He's in loads of pics from the day and of course he not much later broke her heart!

I'd only invite partners if I know and like them. I think plus ones are only appropriate for very big weddings where the main invitee doesn't know anyone.
So in my world, I'd just be inviting the friend and leave it at that. Why would you invite her new boyfriend who you don't even like? I wouldn't even be discussing it, just send the invite to her.

It’s very common not to
invite plus 1s to weddings or even named partners/husbands. Just invite her!

Do not invite him.
Numbers are tight.
If she can't make it, so be it.
Not a chance I would invite him when you dislike him so much.

some aristocratic wedding had a policy called ‘no ring, no bring’ perhaps you can quote that!

Don't expect someone to give up time to come honor your love and life choices if you don't have the same basic respect back.

Just be honest.

I'm only inviting you as I've met Johnny a few times and I have concerns and I don't want him at my wedding.

If she gets the hump and doesn't come, so be it .

People saying you don't have to invite plus ones, even if they are long term partners - when did this become a thing? Before I became a widow, I just wouldn't go to a wedding if my husband wasn't invited.

Not even a work colleague?

Just as long as you'd be happy to lose the friendship.

You could say you planned numbers before she got with him and seeing as it's a small wedding you can't invite her BF.
Very high possibility that she won't come without him though.

We had this issue. A friend of ours had a new girlfriend and we were horrified by her behaviour when we met her. We didn't invite her to our wedding and thought nothing more would be said, but he asked us outright if she could come.

Luckily, he was DH's close friend and he was able to tell him that as it was close friends and family only, we wouldn't be inviting anyone who we hadn't known for years. I'm SO glad he stood his ground, as we've met her on a few occasions since, and shes been just as awful, every time. She would have 100% ruined our wedding.