Strange family member.

[LivingMyBestAnxietyLife]

Okay, this is going to be strange and weird I apologise..

So my God son ( my first cousin) messaged me today and asked me if I knew about an explicit photo of me taken at his soon to be wife's hen, the photo in question is a group photo where me (and others) flashed their breasts to the camera, it was a joke photo and I didn't realise it was being shown to my cousin ect because only the bride has it. My husband knows about this picture as I told him (he hasn't seen it)

He then becomes extremely creepy and weird telling me how sexy I am, how fit he has always found me, how sexy my breasts are. I text him back saying WTF to be honest i was so taken back, I'm in shock still. He then messages me asking me to send him nudes behind my husbands back and that he won't tell anyone. This is my first cousin 🤮 I instantly told my husband and while I was telling my husband he messaged me saying he was currently taking drugs (cocaine) I told him to stop messaging me this as its extremely inappropriate and disgusting and that I'm feeling extremely uncomfortable. I've ignored him since then, he keep messaging me asking me if I'm going to tell anyone and if we're okay. I've ignored.

So am I being unreasonable to tell my uncle to get my cousin some help (he's in his 30's) for his drugs taking.
Or should i just leave it, im seriously in two minds because this will cause a huge family rift as this side of the family are extremely proud and very high and mighty and I'm not particularly close to them (dad's side)

Thank you

Can posters PLEASE stop shaming the OP for the photo. Victim blaming at its finest.

Sorry but I would absolutely let the family know. Why protect him??
Protecting him will just confirm to him that he can do this to other family members- children included. You owe it to his wife to tell her. And you should be telling his parents. Why wouldn't you. It's all this 'trying to keep the peace' in families that keep dark secrets. Expose this pervert. If there's a family rift then that is on HIM.

How revolting! I can only assume that his defense could be he was out of his mind on booze and coke when he sent them?
But there's no excuse. Block and never speak to him again. There's no point getting involved in the fact he's a drug user. His life, his choice. Not your concern anymore.
The photo you mention does not sound racy or sexual, it was clearly a joke and not meant to shared around. But I guess no-one would predict his reaction to it being that grim.

Now, Im sure this wont go down well with many but I am an unreasonable bitch at times and Ive always had a fuck it attitude. So, flashing your tits? Why not?. As a PP said what happens on tour and all that. Im sure men have done a lot worse on stag dos. Imagine what that creepy bastard was doing! Im afraid Im not a block and move on type. Was there a hen party WhatsApp group? If not I would set up a post hen party WhatsApp group which would include the bride to be. Send the messages from the creepy bastard to the chat and ask the question ‘anyone else having to deal with this shit from the groom or is it just me?’. The bride can do what she wants with the info, she promised to marry the wanker. In all seriousness tho, If I was the bride and I found out my new husband had sent shit like that to his god mother/cousin I would be fuming that no one told me before I got to the altar.

Tell his fiancée so she can end their relationship if she wants to, while there’s still time. Don’t tell your uncle - your cousin is an adult and it has nothing to do with his father.

Of course you tell the wife to be.

You then take a serious look at yourself and your own behaviour. Flashing your breasts for the camera and you're a grown woman who should understand the consequents of photos being taken on devices are never going to be kept private.

Don't be silly.

People need to accept that their are consequences to their poor behaviour.

Oh God the judging on here!
Poor OP what a shock. Generally I'm not one for telling tales but the fiancé should be offered the choice to save herself

Thanks everyone for their kind messages with some great advice.

It's sad that my husband can understand that flashing ones boobies in a photo as a laugh DOESN'T mean a man can harass and send messages that no one wants or asks for, it's shame some women on here can't understand that but never mind. Lesson learnt I will never do it again. It's obviously my own fault that my own cousin was harassing me according to some on here...

It was a massive shock, I thought he had been hacked at first.

tbh i think sunlight needs to be shone more often on these situations. He is clearly creepy as fuck and this is unlikely to be his first inappropriate message.

Creepy men have relied through time and space on their victims feeling shamed and keeping silent. That's how they go on and on and on.

Also I think if it was a random stranger man who had seen the photo (which wouldnt happen) and messaged me i could understand but a family member is just plain weird and creepy. He knows my husband and knows I'm married. Apparently he was perfectly alright on his stag, my husband went along with my uncle and dad so no drugs were involved to my husband knowledge but he was bragging that he does love the coke... I dunno its beyond creepy and plain weird!!

Even if he was on drugs it's horribly creepy of your cousin. He didn't try it on with the other Hens I presume, he thought as you were family you'd let him off. It says something pretty sad about him that he's willing to take advantage of family, see how he's back peddling now to make sure you won't say anything.
Go with your DH and get it sorted Op, if you don't and it comes out later you'll get the blame

I personally think that if you 'flash your tits' and pose to a camera then it could get anywhere and passed around etc.

I personally wouldn't pose for a picture and nor would any of my friends showing our nipples and boobs. We are more discreet when out and about on plenty of the hen weekends we have been on.

Definitely tell the fiancée. And ask her why she showed him the photo. He may have snooped on her phone without her knowing. Alternatively she may have shown him which makes her untrustworthy though not as vile as him.

In any case she deserves the chance to get out before the wedding. I wouldn’t tell the rest of the family but I wouldn’t lie for him either. Prepare for the messenger to be shot.