Strange family member.

[LivingMyBestAnxietyLife]

Okay, this is going to be strange and weird I apologise..

So my God son ( my first cousin) messaged me today and asked me if I knew about an explicit photo of me taken at his soon to be wife's hen, the photo in question is a group photo where me (and others) flashed their breasts to the camera, it was a joke photo and I didn't realise it was being shown to my cousin ect because only the bride has it. My husband knows about this picture as I told him (he hasn't seen it)

He then becomes extremely creepy and weird telling me how sexy I am, how fit he has always found me, how sexy my breasts are. I text him back saying WTF to be honest i was so taken back, I'm in shock still. He then messages me asking me to send him nudes behind my husbands back and that he won't tell anyone. This is my first cousin 🤮 I instantly told my husband and while I was telling my husband he messaged me saying he was currently taking drugs (cocaine) I told him to stop messaging me this as its extremely inappropriate and disgusting and that I'm feeling extremely uncomfortable. I've ignored him since then, he keep messaging me asking me if I'm going to tell anyone and if we're okay. I've ignored.

So am I being unreasonable to tell my uncle to get my cousin some help (he's in his 30's) for his drugs taking.
Or should i just leave it, im seriously in two minds because this will cause a huge family rift as this side of the family are extremely proud and very high and mighty and I'm not particularly close to them (dad's side)

Thank you

*'must have'

I would send the messages to his finance (assuming she showed him the photo) and say something like “FYI please don’t share that photo - this is what I’ve had to deal with as a result” and leave it at that.

I couldn’t ignore and let it lie, it’s too predatory and creepy. He needs calling out ASAP.

She's not that 'lovely, kind and thoughtful ' if she shared a private intimate photo with her creepy fiance.

Call her out on it and block them both. Make it clear that if the photo ends up being distributed in any way you will take legal action.

Presumably she showed him the photo?

the finance is not kind and thoughtful. She is immature and thoughtless to have shown her finance the picture.
contact her , ask that she and finance delete the picture . Once this has been done you show her the messages from him.
The risk is that you end up on only fans…
Don’t involve other family members.

Have you spoken to any other members of the hen party about this?

If it was a group shot, he could be harassing other women about their topless pic as well.

Why would you have a photo taken then complain it's being shared?

Let his partner know. Save her!

I agree with this approach

Why did you allow someone to take topless pictures of you, then? This isn't a normal thing to do. Is this real? What with the 'bless her' comments? She's betrayed everyone's trust. He's an adult man off his barnet and is messenging another adult, nothing to do with his family and he's no danger to your DD. By the sounds of it, the group/public thing might be part of the bride and grooms sex life.

Hi thanks for all your replies,

I knew the photo would come back and bite me on the arse, especially in this group it was a group photo of 6 of us doing it, it wasn't JUST ME, it was a quick drunk flash. We wasn't posing for playboy! It doesn't mean I deserve creepy messages and harassment! I've blocked him so obviously he can't contact me now! I'll leave it as that. Again thanks, I'll talk to his s2b wife and ask her to delete the photo and tell her everything The photo was literally a laugh,a thoughtless photo. I knew I'd get judge on here for it but again thanks all ❤️

This.

If it was you who was marrying him wouldn’t you want to know?

Tell her.

I'd go around to their house when I know they are both in with DH and have the whole thing out. Show her messages in front of him, ask for the photo to be deleted on the spot and then leave.

Deal with it directly and let them handle the fall out. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Id probably get dh to record the whole thing on a voice player in his pocket as well so that if anyone questions yiur version of events you have proof of how it all went down.

Anyone willing to stick their noses in to defend him can go to hell. I'd rather not have them in my life.

This is actually a really good idea, my husband knows everything he was sat next to me but yeah thanks I do feel ashamed that I did flash but I wasn't thinking and was just having a laugh 😔

All this post tells me is that nothing good ever comes out of these kind of photos - why do people do it?

Totally Totally agree, lesson learnt.

Dont involve anyone else and cause drama

Just block

Not necessarily. He could have been snooping on her phone?

I don't want to cause drama & if my cousin didn't want this/the drama he shouldn't have messaged me in the first place knowing I'm married and is also my family!

Is there a family WhatsApp? forward his messages saying you're sure that people will understand why you will not be attending the wedding.

If there is I'm not involved in it. I'm not particularly close to them.

Please don't do that. Some posters enjoy encouraging others to go scorched earth from a safe distance.

Let the fiancée know that inappropriate messages have been received.

If she decides it was a stupid drugged up mistake and wants to move on that's up to her.

For me it would be unacceptable and far too weird in a partner , plus I don't condone drugs, but she may see things differently.

Wow how disgusting men can be. Sorry op that you’re left feeling ashamed of this moment of silliness. Agree you need to talk to his fiancé from both a ‘here’s who you are planning marry’ and asking her never to share this picture again, perspective.

Ignore the judgement - you did nothing wrong x

Yes probably the photo wasn't a great idea, but I'd also be pissed at the bride fo sharing it. What goes on tour, stays on tour. Block the cousin.