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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inheritance and care home fees

594 replies

Hateam · 17/08/2024 11:59

Hello!

My mother-in-law is in a care home.

My wife, her daughter, is also in a care home for medical - non age related- issues. My council are paying for my wife's care as we have under £24500 in savings.

When my MIL dies (she's 94) my wife will inherit about £180,000.

We don't want this money going to Essex CC.

Is there anything we can?

Could my MIL's will be changed to remove my wife and replace her with me? She is still of sound mind.

Could the money go into an account in my sole name?

I am aware of the concept of deprivation of assets.

OP posts:
Workhardcryharder · 17/08/2024 13:34

Lookingforunicorns · 17/08/2024 13:33

Why should I as a taxpayer pay for your wife's care if she gets £180k
You are being totally unreasonable.
Grow up.

Edited

That’s the only reasoning you can stretch to? Maybe you should grow up..

Lookingforunicorns · 17/08/2024 13:36

Workhardcryharder · 17/08/2024 13:34

That’s the only reasoning you can stretch to? Maybe you should grow up..

I'm fine thanks. Fully grown up and operational.
You?

BlackShuck3 · 17/08/2024 13:36

pgtips2 · 17/08/2024 13:33

This!
And care home costs are ridiculously high in this country. I know people who own care homes and, what can I say, they're doing very nicely indeed!

The chief function of the care home is to liquidate cash tied up in the property bubble and funnel it into their coffers.
The person receiving care is a mere length of tubing through which money flows.

Saz12 · 17/08/2024 13:38

Theres no obligation for your wife to be frugal with her inheritance. Moving home with 24/7 live in carers intil her money runs out, or having trips out , meals in great restaurants, holidays with you and a couple of carers.

Its a very cruel system.

Its very difficult to get nhs to pay for care homes. Understandably, as dementia is a health condition in the same way cancer etc is.

ChickenTikkaKebabs · 17/08/2024 13:38

Skippingropes · 17/08/2024 13:32

If his wife has an illness that is not dementia, and her care is being funded now, why would his savings be relevant?

He doesn't have savings, he's eyeing up the inheritance money his 'physically and mentally impaired' wife will likely recieve in the coming years from her mum. Sounds pretty grim if you ask me!

You're missing the point.

Depending on his wife's illness he may never be means tested.

I'm unsure why he is now, if she has combined mental and physical health issues.

Rosscameasdoody · 17/08/2024 13:38

Iwasafool · 17/08/2024 13:20

This isn't about her giving the money away while she is receiving care, it is about changing her will so she can decide who her money will go to when she is dead. She can leave it to her DD and be happy it will pay for her care for a few years, she can leave it to her SIL, her GC or the RSPCA. Nothing to do with deprivation of assets as she will be dead.

Missing the point. The OP is asking whether there is a way to stop the whole of MiL’s estate from being used to fund her care - they didn’t just ask about wills, they asked if there was anything they could do to stop the whole £180,000 going towards care fees. There isn’t. If MiL were to give them £180,00 now, it’s deprivation of assets because she had a reasonable expectation of needing care when she gave away the funds. And the reality is that she can’t bequeath specific sums, she can only bequeath whatever is left after care home fees are paid. I understand why OP is asking whether MiL could leave the residue solely to them rather than DW because it would take DW above the savings threshold and she would then have to fund her own care. Legally there’s nothing stopping her. Morally OP will be pocketing funds which should be used for DW’s care, because the alternative is the tax payer footing the bill.

I would hope that the OP has looked into the possibility of NHS continuing care for their wife, as the care is not in respect of age related decline, but medical issues. It’s really difficult to secure but worth the effort as all fees would be paid. I’m also a bit confused because OP appears to have mentioned that they have savings of their own which would take them above the limit for LA contribution. At above £23,250 the OP’s wife would still be responsible for paying for care, with the LA making a contribution once they dropped below that threshold, but they wouldn’t qualify for full funding until the savings dropped below £14,500 and even then it would depend on income.

Rosscameasdoody · 17/08/2024 13:40

ChickenTikkaKebabs · 17/08/2024 13:38

You're missing the point.

Depending on his wife's illness he may never be means tested.

I'm unsure why he is now, if she has combined mental and physical health issues.

I'm unsure why he is now, if she has combined mental and physical health issues.

Because unless they qualify for NHS continuing care (which is almost impossible to secure) care has to be paid for and LA contribution is means tested according to income, assets and savings.

ItsMeMarioo · 17/08/2024 13:40

I’m more concerned about what’s to stop you from trotting off with all this money? What will be put in place to make it assured you will spend it on your wife and not piss it up the wall on yourself?

30 years is a long, long time and like you said you’re only at the start of this process..

ChickenTikkaKebabs · 17/08/2024 13:41

@Hateam Is there a reason why your wife needs a care home now rather than carers at home?

If her needs are so great that she needs 24/7 nursing/care why is that means tested?

Ferguson0909 · 17/08/2024 13:41

Under the circumstances you have. Outlined, it is overwhelmingly likely that you will be entitled to NHS continuing care. However, it extremely hard to get as the NHS will fight you every step of the way. Your wife should have received. An assessment on her discharge. You really need to fight for this.
Notwithstanding this, your MIL should not give your wife anything under her will. She could instead leave it to a trust for your wife’s benefit. Distributions from the trust can be made so that mean tested benefits and care home funding is not disturbed. You should contact a STEP solicitor to arrange this. Note it must be done before MIL dies as altering the will or giving the money away will be a deliberate deprivation of assets.

Respectisnotoptional · 17/08/2024 13:41

I would definitely investigate your wife’s care needs as I’m pretty sure that at least part of her care would be funded.
I don’t agree with those on their high horse complaining about you wishing to save on care fees. It’s totally unfair that those who have worked hard and bought a property therefore investing their money are penalised, while those who have spent it all and not bothered to invest and save then get everything paid for.

ChickenTikkaKebabs · 17/08/2024 13:42

Rosscameasdoody · 17/08/2024 13:40

I'm unsure why he is now, if she has combined mental and physical health issues.

Because unless they qualify for NHS continuing care (which is almost impossible to secure) care has to be paid for and LA contribution is means tested according to income, assets and savings.

It's the qualifying decision I'm querying.

Grammarnut · 17/08/2024 13:43

Look into setting up a trust.

Deebee90 · 17/08/2024 13:43

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HPFA · 17/08/2024 13:43

pgtips2 · 17/08/2024 13:29

To be fair, in a welfare state surely the state indirectly through everyone's tax paid (including OP) should fund this?

Ideally, yes.

And if those lucky enough to buy property fairly cheaply in the 80s and 90s had paid a proper amount of tax during those years I might have had more sympathy for the view that taxpayers should stump up the bill.

Instead we have people who collectively voted for a government that kept lowering taxes on the basis that "people can spend their own money more efficiently than the goverment can". Now they expect today's taxpayers to stump up the bill so they can protect their precious inheritances mostly earned while sitting at home watching the bricks pile up the cash.

And I'm tired of that old "why should we pay while less hard working people get it for free". Very few people have spent their whole lives not working. Mostly people who are poor now never got the chance to earn much.

Ferguson0909 · 17/08/2024 13:43

Alternatively your MIL could leave it all to you if she is confident you have your wife’s best interests in mind

User364837 · 17/08/2024 13:44

lmhj · 17/08/2024 12:18

If it goes in an account in your name, you are married, so make no difference.

Does she have other children?

Do you have children?

If she wishes the money to benefit her daughter I would suggest she take independent advice on perhaps a trust to pay an annual amount if she is to be in long term care with the rest going towards her fees.

Actually no - for financial assessment for care home fees it’s the service user’s account only and half of joint accounts.

obviously though they’d look at recent transfers.

moral question aside - yes OP I think if the will was changed so your wife was not the beneficiary then the council would not bring it into her financial assessment

Jeezitneverends · 17/08/2024 13:45

Hateam · 17/08/2024 12:27

Thank you for the replies.

I understand the tone of many of the replies.

However , if you were in my position I doubt many of you would be eager to give the council all of the money!

Totally agree with you. You need to speak to a solicitor but I think the best way would be to jump a generation and the money go to your children.

MN are very hypocritical about this

Danglers · 17/08/2024 13:46

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Respectisnotoptional · 17/08/2024 13:46

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That’s very rude, he’s not a scumbag at all, he is protecting his wife’s assets, she may well need the money in years to come.
I hope you’re prepared to see everything you’ve worked and saved for your whole life disappear in a few short years on care home fees which are by the way astronomical and need looking into.

Grammarnut · 17/08/2024 13:46

Respectisnotoptional · 17/08/2024 13:41

I would definitely investigate your wife’s care needs as I’m pretty sure that at least part of her care would be funded.
I don’t agree with those on their high horse complaining about you wishing to save on care fees. It’s totally unfair that those who have worked hard and bought a property therefore investing their money are penalised, while those who have spent it all and not bothered to invest and save then get everything paid for.

I partially agree, here. Those who have worked and done well should have access to the welfare system as much available to them as those who have not. My acceptance of this is based on the notion that the well-off must receive something back from the welfare state in order to encourage them not to find ways of circumventing their investment in it; e.g. I think everyone should receive Child Benefit for all their children, irrespective of income (and also that the default payment should be to the mother).

User364837 · 17/08/2024 13:46

ChickenTikkaKebabs · 17/08/2024 13:41

@Hateam Is there a reason why your wife needs a care home now rather than carers at home?

If her needs are so great that she needs 24/7 nursing/care why is that means tested?

Many people need 24 hour care who don’t qualify for NHS continuing care.
it is slightly unusual for a married younger person to be in a care home and not have a team of carers at home instead but not unheard of.

Skippingropes · 17/08/2024 13:46

ChickenTikkaKebabs · 17/08/2024 13:38

You're missing the point.

Depending on his wife's illness he may never be means tested.

I'm unsure why he is now, if she has combined mental and physical health issues.

I didn't comment on that, just that he doesn't have any savings at the moment! I'd be wary of giving someone advice on how to switch their vulnerable wife's inheritance over to their name.

ChickenTikkaKebabs · 17/08/2024 13:46

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So nasty.

If she had another illness, the NHS would pay.
The line between the NHS paying and the family is very unclear.

Don't you understand?

We all pay for other people's illnesses and care and benefits through taxation. We pay tax for education even though we may not have children. Some people pay for the potholes to be repaired even though they don't drive.

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