Shouted at my sick child

[Newmama93]

I’m solo tonight as husband is away, toddler got a temp this morning (3.5 yrs) and has wanted me allll day, I have a teething 8 month old so someone’s been upset all day on and off. My toddler got really sick as the day went on and as I put my baby down he started screaming, his throat was obviously sore and he was very hot and felt like crap but he wouldnt stop, on the 4th wake of the baby I just absolutely lost it, I don’t recognise myself, I have been crying for 30 minutes apologising to him. I’m mainly so upset I’ve shouted when all his done is cry from his pain. I shouted that the police were coming to get him and very loudly said JUST STOP IT as I banged my hands on the couch, I don’t know why police came to my head it’s because I so so desperately needed him to stop in that moment or my baby would be fully back awake and I wouldn’t be able to help him so I was just Grasping at straws, trying anything I could to get it to stop. I imeediately told him that weren’t coming (he didn’t even register o said that) but I’m so horrified I screamed at him when he’s just genuinely sick, the pressure and both kids screams just overwhelmed me. I’ve never ever lost it like this at him I feel like I may have issues to get so so angry for just shouting.

looking for a slap in the face? Therapy recommendations or some reassurance I’m not totally alone?

Oh get a grip 🤣🤣🤣

We've all been there. When my eldest two were 3 and 9 months, I was on my own during a syressful period and smacked the 3 year old. I had never done it before, never did it again. You'll recover from this and your kids will be fine x

You shouted out of exhaustion and frustration and you feel bad, that says to me you aren’t a bad person so please don’t stress yourself when you’re already under so much pressure. At that age too it will be easily forgotten

Unlike my DM who was severely abusive and when I was very very ill aged 14 screamed in my face it was the poison coming out (the ‘poison’ being my autism) and that if I woke her again she wouldn’t be responsible for her actions. I spent all night on the bathroom floor shaking and being sick, that wasn’t a one off and came from a place of evil not a stressed out tired caring mother.

What a wicked woman to do and say that! I'm fuming for you!

It was awful I think that was the day it broke me up till then I always tried as I wanted her to love me and that moment made me realise she wasn’t going to. I have adult children now and a couple of times if one has had a d and v bug at age 16/17/18 I used to think about myself at 14 being that unwell and seeing how vulnerable they still were at an older age ? It really made me tearful when I was helping them and how desperate I felt for myself back then. I hope OP knows she isn’t a bad parent it was a momentary lapse not anything just a tired stressed out person

Controversial, but I think parents (mums) are made to feel too guilty for being normal humans.
This isn't the last time you'll get frustrated and regret it, just apologise, cuddle and fingers crossed everyone recovers soon!

You shouted and banged a cushion. Don't give it a second thought! Mothers are allowed to have imperfect emotional reactions to hard things.

Darling, please. You feel awful about it and your apologised straight away. I can promise you that 99% of fathers would NEVER be able to cope with the kind of crap us mothers have to do on a daily basis, even for a couple of hours. They would break. They would go mad. It's hard.

I don't give a shit if people think this is sexist.