In thinking visiting parents and/ or in laws doesn't count as a holiday?

[Floogal]

Me and DH are in early 40s and have DS aged 9 who has ASD. My DP are in mid 60s and live 4 hours away. MIL is about 2 hours away and is in early 80s with age related ailments. It goes without saying that we see MIL more often than my parents.
The issue is the journeys can be stressful (replacement buses, connecting trains, travel sickness etc) and expensive. My DP seems to be irritated by DS challenging behaviour. MIL means well but she needs some assistance from DH. Other extended family expect to be catered for when visiting (& muggins here has to do the grunt work to get things nice). Also I just feel like a bored spare part and after a few days DS also gets bored and starts acting up. Not forgetting I usually end up having nasty migraines when we stay there.
We haven't had a proper holiday in about 10 years and I really want to relax, actually have some fun, 'make memories ' and reconnect with DH. But because of our hours and annual leave we only get more or less a week together just the three of us. But, as per the question, we end up seeing our families. Also I feel quite envious of friends, family and colleagues talking about their vacations. I want to go away next year!!!!

UPDATE

I should have mentioned, that I posted this yesterday when we were on the train. Today we have been stuck in the house ALL DAY sweating as it's so hot. DH, MIL and aunty have just been conversing amongst themselves or sorting things out on the phone. DS is now starting to get bored (I beat him to it last night 😃) and getting upset. Earlier this week we were cooped up in my parent's house, with them getting pissy with DS challenging behaviour (will be a long while before we stay at theirs again). It was DH idea to see both sets of parents this week. I think he would like a proper holiday, but has even said in the past that staying at parents IS a holiday and a good use of holiday entitlement.
Feeling short changed and frustrated.

How long are you there for? If you're not going home tomorrow, find somewhere local to take DS to and announce you're doing that. Tell your DH he can keep his mum company or come out with you. But don't sit around for another day.

Also, tell him you all need a real holiday, and if he says visiting parents is a holiday, ask him to explain what makes it a holiday.

Can’t you take your DS out somewhere nearby while they sat around chatting? No way I’d be sitting in the house all day.

@OldBoilerOhYes and@ItsAlrightDarling going back tomorrow evening. Yeah, I'll just take DS to corner shop and park for a bit. Back to work Monday 🙄

A holiday is where you get to go somewhere of your choice, and do whatever you like to do, whether that's lying on the beach, skiing, or going to cultural sites.

Visiting family is not a holiday, unless a) they live somewhere you'd like to visit even if they weren't there, and b) you do what you like when you're there.

For me I'd add c) it definitely can't be a holiday because I like to see new things, and we pretty much never go to the same place twice!

Is there nowhere else around to take him? Country parks? Swimming at a leisure centre?

I'd insist on a week holiday a year minimum.

I'd also go less often I'd do one week every 2-3 months and special occasions. Use your ds as an excuse . Your dh can go more.

With you op. PIL live a 12 hour
Flight away. It's nice to go and see them but it's not my holiday. We have agreed going forward we will meet somewhere in the middle-ish for an actual holiday. Their house in suburbia isn't what I want to spend my annual leave on!

Not nearby