To feel a bit annoyed?

[BrewandBiscuits0]

So this weekend I had plans for Saturday morning. However, a friend has been going through a bit of a rough patch and me and another friend were thinking of going to see her on Friday to cheer her up, maybe have some lunch etc. The plan snowballed into having bottomless brunch, stopping over and leaving early. I said I would happily have the food but no alcohol and drive back late so I'm up and ready for Sat morning (I'm not an early riser and our friend lives over an hour away from us, we live near to each other)...when I said this, my friend has suggested we take one car (mine as I'm not drinking) and both come back together, however she is still going to have the alcohol at brunch.
AIBU to feel a bit put out as the brunch plan was hers and although I do want to have the full brunch with alcohol, I obviously can't and feel like I've been put in a difficult position. I could suggest we drive ourselves there and if she wants to stay she can, however she too has said she has plans for Saturday so coming back with me would be convenient.

Okay you want to have a drink and get the train home afterwards - fine so tell them that?
If your friend wants a drink and doesn't want to get the train then she'll have to stay over and leave early.

😂

Hardly a major problem or issue, go/don't go, drink/don't drink, drive/train whatever!

She has said she will have drink and get the train.
Her friend who suggested the bottomless lunch wants the OP to drive and listen to them getting pissed and drop her friend home.

It is perfectly understandable why she doesn't wish to be driver and responsible friend whilst the other two get pissed.

She has to decide what she actually wants to do.
Friend wants to use her friend for a cheap trip.
OP has to say what she wants.
She clearly doesn't want to be driver if the other two are on the drink.

You haven't disclosed the type of difficult time that your friend is having but in my opinion two friends visiting for the day and everyone getting smashed isn't what most people having a difficult time need. If she has money worries it will be expensive, if she is grieving a death/ relationship ending or has depression getting drunk will probably leave her feeling worse afterwards.

I think on this occasion, whether you drive or take the train, by not drinking excessively you are sticking to your original plan of supporting your friend rather than just a get together to get hammered. If you choose to drive tell your non driver friend that when you want to leave she can choose to come or get the train later or sleep over, but you will be leaving when you want to as that is the beauty of driving yourself - and stick to it. If she doesn't want to leave when you are ready then go without her.

yes no fun going to this and not being able to have one alcoholic drink if you feel like it. tell your pal you want to go and will be taking the train.no discussion required. she is suiting her own needs not yours. do you get pushed into this default position frequently by her or others?

But you said in your OP that you didn’t want to drink so you’d be fresh on Sat morning? And you’ve changed your mind now because she’s taken you up on a lift?

Nobody is going to ge able to give you a proper response because your first two posts have such completely different scenarios. It's not that you weren't clear, you moved the goalposts so much it could be a different thread!

Decide what YOU want to do then tell your friend what's happening.
Two of you getting the train together is a different situation than you getting one alone so if you want to drink now and get a train with your friend do that.
If you're not bothered about drinking then drive.
I don't think your friend has been unreasonable asking for a lift but also you wouldn't be unreasonable changing your mind and saying let's both get the train

If you said you'd drive then I don't really see the issue

Why don't you go on the train, have a couple of drinks and not get hammered? It is possible. Or stay over and get up early, won't kill you.

I get you OP. Say you’ve decided to get the train instead of driving. Friend can do what they want.

i can understand it

I don't drink much. Brunch where some people have no drink and some have 1 glass, fine. I'd be happy to drive people (if i drove)

Brunch where i don't drink and everyone else gets smashed, i'd prefer to have 1 drink and get train back. Being the stone cold sober one isn't fun.

Sounds to me like you didn’t want anybody to drink. NOw they’re going against you and drinking at the brunch, you’re stamping your feet about it. You sound like hard work tbh.

But OP didn't want to drink!!!

The only reason why you have decided to have a drink and get the train is because you want to begrudge your friend of a lift home. If you had innocently changed your mind then this would be not be an issue.

Then say if she wants to drive great... but now you fancy a drink so won't be driving but happy to share petrol costs of she wants to drive

Erm isn’t the whole point of bottomless brunch to drink? YABU to be miffed that just because you don’t want to drink you think your friends shouldn’t either. What a killjoy

You said:
I would happily have the food but no alcohol and drive back late so I'm up and ready for Sat morning

You then suggested the train, (you previous said you would happily have no alcohol).
You said you'd drive.
Friend said, great idea, be easier than the train, (thinking you weren't drinking alcohol).
You're in a huff now cause your friend is not a mind reader..
And you feel put out.

Catch yourself on, and be happy you've friends to go out and have fun with.

It sounds like to me, if you aren’t going to drink, you don’t want your friend to drink either, hence why now you’re being weird and difficult about giving lifts

decide if you’re drinking or not and then travel arrange around that

Your posts are very confusing, but from what I understand you’ve got the hump because your friend is taking advantage of the fact that you are choosing to not drink, and drive home.
This is just mean spirited and a bit nasty actually.

If you wanted to get the train, and you’ve explained that as badly as you’ve explained everything else here, I’d guess your friend doesn’t realise this and you’re criticising her for something that isn’t her fault.

Either way YABU, and more than that, unfriend-like and mean.