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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For laughing and not helping him

77 replies

DecisionsDecisions321 · 15/08/2024 14:52

My DH has a friend. Let's call him 'John'. John cheated on his partner, she broke up with him. He moved alone into a rental owned by a relative of a family friend as the woman he cheated with stayed with her DH/partner as didn't want to break up her family. He spent the past year trying to avoid CMS. Gone self employed, hiding income, the works. So on paper he earns very little. He's also been blasting her on social media about bleeding him dry and being broke due to her CMS claim.

So today DH tells me he's had a message from John BEGGING to let him move in. The person he's renting from issued him with a section 21 and is trying to evict him (seen all his social media posts and is worried about him affording the rent when they rely on it as their retirement income!). He can't pass any of the affordability checks for anywhere else because he's newly self employed and made himself look like he earns next to nothing. While he has a significant deposit saved, no mortgage for same reason.

I started laughing, said absolutely not, it's a result of his own shitty actions. DH relayed it was a no from us, but I guess he blames me and hasn't learned his lesson. He's now posting on social media about friends being ruled by their wives and how his ex has left him destitute and homeless (despite his flashy car, posts from last months fancy holiday etc).

OP posts:
DecisionsDecisions321 · 22/08/2024 17:04

Maybe there needs to be a John support club 🤣.

DH did as a last ditch go see him after work one night to ask about why he doesn't try some options, including some mentioned on here. He found out some more background and is completely done with him now.

Still going around pleading poverty and playing victim of course.

OP posts:
Americano75 · 22/08/2024 17:23

Get it right up him, nasty fucker.

LouisTherouxattheorgy · 22/08/2024 18:02

DecisionsDecisions321 · 22/08/2024 17:04

Maybe there needs to be a John support club 🤣.

DH did as a last ditch go see him after work one night to ask about why he doesn't try some options, including some mentioned on here. He found out some more background and is completely done with him now.

Still going around pleading poverty and playing victim of course.

What did he find out OP? 👃

latetothefisting · 22/08/2024 18:28

TorroFerney · 15/08/2024 16:15

Was just going to use this one. It’s a bomb isn’t it, I always thought it was a sword for some reason.

Ooh you learn something every day. I always vaguely imagined it was something to do with a flagpole (probably because you 'hoist' a flag and petard sounds similar to pennant) so sort of envisioned it a bit like the geek being hung by their pants on a pole like in some American high school move (now I'm typing it it does sound a bit random lol). Blown up by your own bomb makes more sense, albeit also more violent!

rainbowsparkle28 · 22/08/2024 18:32

Yanbu. Just ignore all his ridiculous posts. You play with fire you get burnt 🤷🏼‍♀️

redtrain123 · 22/08/2024 18:39

Your not responsible to house him.

TorroFerney · 23/08/2024 07:19

latetothefisting · 22/08/2024 18:28

Ooh you learn something every day. I always vaguely imagined it was something to do with a flagpole (probably because you 'hoist' a flag and petard sounds similar to pennant) so sort of envisioned it a bit like the geek being hung by their pants on a pole like in some American high school move (now I'm typing it it does sound a bit random lol). Blown up by your own bomb makes more sense, albeit also more violent!

I assumed impaled on your sword and held aloft - a long sword I think, like you were the flag. Your version is nicer!

jeaux90 · 23/08/2024 07:55

He sounds like a gross cock lodging misogynistic nob.

Good your DP is done with him.

Maybe he might want to tell his friend some home truths whilst he's at it.

My ex got proper Karma. Ended up in prison Grin

Fannyfiggs · 23/08/2024 08:04

My god, what a catch.

I don't understand why you haven't chucked your DH out and welcomed 'John' into your house with open arms.

My knickers are trying to fly off just reading about him 🩲💨

😂

Katemax82 · 23/08/2024 08:44

whynotwhatknot · 15/08/2024 16:48

not sure about being evicted inase you cant pay but no sympaty at all for not paying maintenane

Section 21 is the devil. My husband and I paid on time in full for 6 years but got one because the landladies wanted us out and charge new tenants an extra £415 a month

GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 23/08/2024 08:52

LouisTherouxattheorgy · 22/08/2024 18:02

What did he find out OP? 👃

Kristen Wiig Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live

This I definitely want to know!

Bellatrixpure · 23/08/2024 08:55

What a nice deep hole he has dug himself there, will struggle to get out of it.

Ha fucking haha I say

Babadookinthewardrobe · 23/08/2024 09:02

Hahahahahahaha, nice!

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday · 23/08/2024 10:52

Fannyfiggs · 23/08/2024 08:04

My god, what a catch.

I don't understand why you haven't chucked your DH out and welcomed 'John' into your house with open arms.

My knickers are trying to fly off just reading about him 🩲💨

😂

Knickers trying to fly off 🤣 🤣
Really made me chuckle.

SingingSands · 23/08/2024 11:12

Fannyfiggs · 23/08/2024 08:04

My god, what a catch.

I don't understand why you haven't chucked your DH out and welcomed 'John' into your house with open arms.

My knickers are trying to fly off just reading about him 🩲💨

😂

🤣🤣🤣

HelpAGirlOut1234 · 23/08/2024 11:47

I am flipping weak laughing at this thread, gotta love when karma is swift, what a prize arsehole he is. And I'm shamelessly place marking for the further background updates.

AgileGreenSeal · 23/08/2024 11:52

it’s like an apocryphal tale, isn’t it?
now John has leaned the truth of the saying, “you reap what you sow”. 🤦‍♀️

Kitkatcatflap · 23/08/2024 12:00

Another one hanging on for what your husband found out. Come on OP, don't tease.

DecisionsDecisions321 · 23/08/2024 12:24

Further details would be quite outing so I'm awaiting permission from his ex (Jane?) that it's OK and won't come back to bite her in the arse.

If it bites him in the arse all the better but I don't want to make anything more difficult for her.

OP posts:
DecisionsDecisions321 · 26/08/2024 11:17

So, John's ex I will for simplicity call Jane. I'll just have to tell this as a story to understand the cheeky fuckery of John.

Young Jane inherits a home, needs a lot of work. Jane gets small mortgage to cover works. She has a job that is relatively low pay, requires shiftwork. Meets John, who has 'big career'. John moves into her house. Jane gets pregnant, has their kids. John doesn't contribute to any house stuff even during maternity leave, she covers it from her maternity pay and savings. So he has zero claim.

At some point John starts cheating with a married woman, and she gets pregnant but isn't sure if baby is John's or her DHs. John does paternity test, not John's and she breaks off affair. Jane finds something related to the test while on maternity leave with youngest, confronts, splits up.

John moves into rental with ridiculously kind hearted family friend who gives him rental at reduced price (basically as low as they could afford to live on considering its their retirement) so he 'has a place to see his kids' and money for lawyers and court because 'that bitch has bled him dry and won't let him see the kids'. In actual fact he hides his earnings, refuses to see the kids, lives a life of luxury. Jane has to go back to work so she doesn't need to pay back her maternity pay but due to shifts no childcare available and John says her problem and tells everyone else he's busy (on holiday, buying new cars etc). We, along with other friends, step in and watch kids until she can move to a new role on shifts she can get childcare.

He keeps posting his victim-woes, cost of living goes up, family friend can't afford the low rent anymore, sees stuff about him struggling to pay what little they're charging him. They go to talk to him and say they need to charge market rent. He kicks off, slips up in his rant and reveals he cheated, they also see lack of kids stuff, fancy new car on drive etc. They end up going for section 21.

It's caused lots of further issues within his family - his mum has basically lost her best friend for lying to her. John waited until the bitter end to beg DH to take him in, so he's had to move his stuff to his parents house and is staying in a hotel here when he has to work. He does have a new (young) girlfriend, but cost of housing high here so she's still living with her parents that hate his guts.

OP posts:
Americano75 · 26/08/2024 11:59

Christ, he sounds delightful.

Fannyfiggs · 27/08/2024 07:43

Well he's a catch isn't he 😂😂

Greenhedge1 · 27/08/2024 08:59

So basically scum.

DecisionsDecisions321 · 27/08/2024 10:35

Yup, even DH has let go of any shred of hope for him, which is really sad to see. Of course that's been blamed on me as well but I don't care.

OP posts:
AquaFurball · 27/08/2024 12:59

I hope Jane is doing well and gets a great job that pays well and has excellent childcare.

John is reaping what he sowed.

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