Witholding my rent AIBU

[littledragon99]

I'm a woman in my late 40s, living in a 3-bed Victorian terrace in West London, where I pay £1,200 a month with all bills included. I signed an AST in May.
I work in recruitment and DJ on the side. Despite being skilled in my job, financial difficulties have arisen following my mother’s death, and I've struggled with timely rent payments. I’m currently in therapy to manage my depression.
Recently, my landlady has begun Airbnb-ing the living room, removing the communal space I was paying for. Given this change, I believe the £1,200 rent is no longer justified.
Additionally, she inappropriately contacted my boss, (my boss was my reference) about paying rent directly and has threatened eviction. I’ve consulted Citizens Advice and suspect my deposit wasn’t placed in a Tenancy Deposit Scheme (TDS), which may breach legal requirements.
Due to these issues, I’ve withheld my rent since August 1st and am prepared to take further action if needed.

I am focusing hard on my DJ'ing career and just played at a known festival - music business people pay late and my sales job is commission based

Did you move in intending to pay or has this always been your plan?

Well, your boss isn't going to up for that again at the next place, post-eviction, are they?

@littledragon99 PAY YOUR RENT OR LEAVE! it’s very simple!! You make excuse after excuse, you blame everything and everyone else for this shitshow but you need to realise it is you that needs to fix it!!stop playing the victim…it’s ridiculous!

What the fuck has that got to do with you?! You rent a room. Which you can't afford. So you need to move out. End of story.

Why do you keep going on about the Landlady?!?!

Your boss will definitely have an altered opinion of you now, and will most likely be monitoring your reliability more closely.

But that is your fault.

So your landlady was a lovely generous women who skipped the checks and gave you a chance. Your boss vouched for you being a good hardworking reliable person.

Then you shit on them both. Anit you just a peach.

Seriously? And now you are attacking your ( reasonable) LL? She was well within her rights to ask your boss to pay the rent, if he is acting as guarantor?

Are you working a professional job OP? If so, your responses are mind boggling!

Again, what the fuck has any of this got to do with you? And no cleaner "gives notice" . The landlady will have arranged for her to come in at an agreed time each week. It's not like she's going to ring round all the tenants asking if it's ok every week is it?!

And do you maybe want to answer why you keep going on about the landlady @littledragon99?

The reality is you don't have the money to pay your rent so the rest is irrelevant and absolutely none of your business.

She’s a dj and works in sales on commission.

Both completely reliable sources of income when you're massively in debt and can't afford your rent 🙄

To be fair the air bnb sounds like it's covering the rent you haven't paid. I do t think u can not pay rent and complain tbh

I disagree. My friends lives in zone 3, Stamford Hill and rents out her spare room for £650. £1200 might be the going rate for this specific area but I think it’s awful and shouldn’t be normalised or described as “pretty good”. i was paying that for a one bed flat a couple of years ago.

Sorry but it doesn't sound like you're capable of living alone and managing adult life, do you have a friend or family member who can help?

If you can't manage to pay your rent on time six months in a row, self-employed life is just going to get you in more of a mess. You'd be better with a salaried job and setting up a standing order so you don't need to remember.

OP, it’s hard to move especially when you’re ND and apparently still grieving but I think it’s time you start looking for a new place asap.

You can’t afford 1200 pcm rent apparently, perhaps have a look at your finances and think how much you can afford. Maybe £800?

If you can find somewhere that charges whatever amount you can afford , and is well located for your work I suggest that would be a good way forward.

By all means speak to Shelter and citizens advice etc too about any money or protections you’re now entitled to as a result of her protecting the deposit late, or just general advice, but I think in the long term it’s best for all if you just move on.

You've had heaps of advice, what more are you hoping to get out of this thread? I think focus on your mental health and taking practical steps to move out of the fog/ cycle you appear to be in.

I feel sorry for your landlord. I suspect she will nearly be relieved that rent is late consistently and now unpaid, so she has good grounds to end contract and get someone new in who is reliable.

Do you do a tax return for your dj work? If you can do that you can organise rent. If you don't, then you could be in trouble. If you don't earn enough to have to do one, it's not a viable income stream

This is just a waste of time now. Proof that nothing whatsoever in the last 17 pages has even been listened to.

Something really isn't right with the responses. Every relevant question gets ignored and none of the advice gets responded to.

Have a look on spareroom OP, west London is quite broad but if you’re talking zones 3-4 in west London you can find places less than 900pcm, even if you just sign up for 6 months to get back on your feet.

I remember struggling to pay £700 plus bills when I lived in ealing back in 2012. I was never late with my rent or bills but it was tough. I moved to another place in Ealing and paid £450 bills included. sure, it wasn’t as nice or clean and it was a pain to move, but it was safe, warm and affordable - it was such a relief and a burden that was lifted!

I’m obviously not saying you can find a place for 400pcm in Ealing nowadays, but my point is as much as you want to stay in the place you are now, sometimes it’s just better to admit defeat and move to somewhere you can afford.

https://m.spareroom.co.uk/flatshare/flatshare_detail.pl?flatshare_id=15770594&search_id=1315830945&city_id=9&flatshare_type=offered&search_results=%2Fflatshare%2F%3Foffset%3D10%26search_id%3D1315830945%26sort_by%3Dby_day%26mode%3Dlist&

because what op really wants is A loop hole to get her life rent paid for her and have a livingroom like she owns/rents the whole place. While also not happy with a free cleaner cleaning communal areas🙃

I suspect you’re focussing on the TDS and AirBnB so that you don’t have to deal with the real issue, which is that you’re a persistent late payer less than six months into a contract.

You can’t afford to go on like this or you will
be homeless.

You need a stable, reliable income. Can you find something that will cover your expenses? DJing sounds like an expensive hobby and commission-based work is not helping your situation.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but if you can’t pay your rent on time then something is very wrong!

You can’t just blame ADHD for not paying your rent ffs. I show most of the signs of ADHD too, but all my mortgage and bills are paid, the bank won’t let me off if I say “oh, I have ADHD, remind me”. You need to set up DDs.

If the accommodation is too expensive, you need to move somewhere you can afford. It seems the LL may also have made mistakes or done things she shouldn’t (though it’s not totally clear) but you don’t sound like a good tenant either.

@CosmicDaisyChain yes, I'm wondering if OP is also struggling badly with her MH? Or just head in the sand?

She's holding down a decent job ( hopefully!) yet can't pay the rent by SO. I'm sure her boss would have also advised her on the importance of paying rent ( being her referee?)

No idea 🤷‍♀️

Did you need reminding to turn up?