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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give my "white" niece a "black" dolly for her birthday?

62 replies

paow · 16/04/2008 11:04

Hi there, I went to my local toy shop and bought a really nice sling for my 4 year old niece to carry around a little dolly. They had a lovely fair trade "ethnic" dolly to go with it which is of a dark brown colour.
Now, my neice's family lives in a small town where there are no black people.
I live in London and I thought it was pretty normal to buy such thing, but now dh thinks my niece's parents will not like it and think it's weird as they will think that I am giving her a black little baby dolly to carry around as if to encourage her to have a black boyfriend? yikes, what is wrong with my dh!!! and his family IS very close minded.
Would you be offended? or if you are black and you are given a "white" dolly? would love to hear your opinion.

I have stuck to my guns and wrapped it ready for next week.

OP posts:
Coca · 16/04/2008 11:05

your niece won't care and if her parents do then she is lucky she has you as her auntie

Saturn74 · 16/04/2008 11:06

Your DH has some very strange opinions.

Give the doll to your niece.

Try and get a refund on the husband.

berolina · 16/04/2008 11:07

What - quite frankly - odd thinking on the part of your dh. I think it is a lovely present, and your niece will probably be thrilled with it.

JodieG1 · 16/04/2008 11:08

I would not be offended, why would I? Your dh sounds strange.

potoftea · 16/04/2008 11:08

When my dc were little they didn't know any black people but were so used to seeing them on tv or in books that I don't think they'd have notice the colour of the doll's skin.

And if the parents have a problem with this, they are totally wrong, and I hope the doll becomes a favorite toy, and is brought everywhere by your niece

ReginaFalange · 16/04/2008 11:09

You could ring her parents and ask what they think?

AMumInScotland · 16/04/2008 11:09

Nothing remotely odd about a girl having different coloured dolls. I guess if all her dolls were black (in a white family) you might wonder what that was about, otherwise I can't see why anyone would comment.

I had a black doll as well as white ones when I was a kid, and I don't recall anyone ever commenting. This in a 60's suburb where everyone was white.

Oliveoil · 16/04/2008 11:09

dd1 and dd2 have some mini baby born dolls, one of which is white and one is brown

they both prefer the white one! I have no idea why and I am not going to read anything into it as they are only 5 and 3

they prefer something that looks like them maybe, I have no idea tbh

I would find it odd maybe to receive a black doll in the line of say baby annabell as it is a mainstream product, a fair trade ethnic doll maybe different

but either way fgs, how on earth are you encouraging her to have a black boyfriend? [mind boggles], strange theory that one from your dh!!??

WigWamBam · 16/04/2008 11:10

It's a doll. What's to be offended by?

I'd love to know the logic process by which he equated that with you wanting a little girl to have a black boyfriend. He sounds rather odd.

nervousal · 16/04/2008 11:10

oh that is so funny - does the fact that my dd has so many dolls mean I am encouraging her to have multiple boyfriends and be promiscuous???? Your DH needs his head read as my mum would say

NotQuiteCockney · 16/04/2008 11:11

Is your niece part of your husband's family, or yours? If the former, maybe you should rethink, as they might take (mad, bonkers) offence?

TenaciousG · 16/04/2008 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MinkyBorage · 16/04/2008 11:12

My Mum bought DD1 a beautiful little brown coloured rag doll which is an absolute favourite. If your DH is right, it may be the only doll she ever has which isn't 'white'; definitely give it to her, she will be sure to love it!

nervousal · 16/04/2008 11:12

lol at tenacious!!!

saadia · 16/04/2008 11:14

We are Asian, I would not be remotely offended to get any colour doll for my dcs (they are boys so probably wouldn't want dolls), but definitely stick to your guns - it shouldn't even be an issue.

MaryAnnSingleton · 16/04/2008 11:15

do you remember Sasha dolls ? very beautiful and exprensive with fabulous hair - they were all a coffee colour -even the blonde ones - they were so gorgeous - they also did black dolls too

Original poster
paow · 16/04/2008 11:15

Yes, niece is from my dh's family, they are rather strange people!!

I will try to get a refund on my dh, I often think of that! he can be odd indeed!

Will see what happens, but thank you so much for your opinions, made me feel better.

OP posts:
Rubyrubyruby · 16/04/2008 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kama · 16/04/2008 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ChopsTheDuck · 16/04/2008 11:18

agree with humphreycushion, your dp is being strange

we have a mixture here. We also have a mixture of white and brown children so it kind of reflects that too.

My mother has a black doll from her childhood - must be from the 60s. It's beautiful, stored away int eh loft somewhere.

Original poster
paow · 16/04/2008 11:18

Will let you know if my niece likes it, I am sure she will love it!

OP posts:
FeverishFish · 16/04/2008 11:19

i never liekd my blakc one tbh
i never liked dosl though

SlartyBartFast · 16/04/2008 11:19

no offence necessary at all.

as a child i had a brown dolly.
i bought my ds a brown dolly when he had a new baby sister (we are all white)

makes no difference or has no meanings whatsoever

chubbymummy · 16/04/2008 11:19

Men are strange creatures! My bil is not happy that my ds has a doll (a boy doll with a willy) and he said "he's gonna turn gay, having a doll". Erm.... it's not a sex toy/ blow up doll !!

I smiled and said "A doll won't turn him gay but if when he grows up he is gay so what?"

Scampmum · 16/04/2008 11:21

LOL Tenacious. I've never seen Igglepiggle in that way myself, but now you mention it...