This is my first thread. Ive been observing MN for years and love the varied thought out responses and advice. We live in UK. DH of 11 years and two children in primary school. DH has never ever planned a night out/cinema trip/holiday/play date/friends over/theatre trip/museum trip - so nothing. Lies in bed until I leave with children at the weekends and works late during the week. Pre-children (pregnant) I basically forced him to book holiday accommodation once(as in, I put my foot down and made clear it was beyond his turn) and he booked an awful place that we left early from. He will not give to charity. Nothing. Not even a £1 on dress down day - he says we shouldnt need charities and shouldnt encourage it. (Im disgusted by this and he did not voice this pre children or Id have been offski.) He said we dont need date nights as its of no interest to him. He hates suggestion of babysitter and says we should be sole carers. He doesnt want to socialise or be involved in the kids social development. I cant remember the last time he paid me a compliment - he is generally nasty and continuously critical of me. Our children have noticed how "nice" he is to colleagues on the phone but isnt particularly nice to the children/I and they ask me why that is - i told him this and he responded it was me planting the idea in their head (I didn't). We have no shared finances - I dont know his earnings (never have) and he picks and choses what he will pay for (which is well below 50% of family spending even though I think he earns more than me). (Said an ex stole all his money when she left so he wants to protect himself.) He creates a bad atmosphere if I go away for a girly weekend/arrange visitors/go out - to the extent ive not been out in years/stopped visitors and have 1 weekend away per year. I am physically disabled and he is particularly nasty to me about that - I had to be ambulanced to hospital a few months ago. At 5am I got the ok to go home - I couldnt get a taxi to come and he had turned his phone off so I couldnt ask him to come the 1 mile to collect me (i thought of trying to walk, in the rain, in my pyjamas and slippers). After an hour I eventually found a taxi and when I got home I was stuck outside banging to get in as he had locked the doors - and he was pissed off I woke him up. He never ever asks how I am - i had a funeral a few weeks ago and he didnt even ask how it was/how mum of the deceased child was/how I was after it. There were things I could let slide or I blossomed over for a long time but now Im utterly fed up of doing that and dont want my children to see this as in any way a healthy relationship. I did ask him to see a dr as I wondered if he was depressed but he doesnt believe in MH and voices that if you want to be well.... you will be (for the record I do not agree and challenge him on this..... im so done with challenging him on a lot of stuff.) Im leaving the relationship (he is making me move out as he sees the marital home as his and wont go - and I just want away. Children are coming with me. I have an appointment with a family lawyer set up). I have no other family. He isolated us from his family and told me to stop communicating with them. I suppose my question is, am I being unreasonable in wanting out?