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AIBU?

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Original poster

Hearing aids

41 replies

Oldbellows · 14/08/2024 15:18

Husband is getting older and deafer. But he will not do anything about it.
we seem to end up having petty arguments which stem from him not hearing what I’ve said. I lose count of the number of times I have to repeat myself every day, which is incredibly frustrating and then of course he says I am nagging.
A few days ago he said he didn’t want to fork out 2 grand for hearing aids which probably‘won’t work anyway’
So I did a bit of research and he can get a hearing test in Specsavers and free hearing aids as he is 65! I was sat next to him on sofa, and told him this. His reply? What did you say, didn’t hear you. Oh FFS! My point exactly!
How on earth do I get him to get this sorted- I’m sure if he could actually hear it would solve a lot of issues.

OP posts:
Boomer55 · 14/08/2024 15:21

You need for him to book an appointment with Specsavers. That’s the only way to get a hearing aid now, or, at least, around here. But, if he won’t, there’s not much you can do.

mumonthehill · 14/08/2024 15:24

Dh had a free test in Boots then took the result to his GP, he was referred to audiology and got free hearing aids via NHS. It was not hugely long and much better than paying private. He is now seen as needed. Being able to hear has certainly made things better for us all!!!

ByCupidStunt · 14/08/2024 15:29

Hearing loss is one of the biggest things that makes dementia worse.

If you think about it, if you can't hear people, they stop talking to you. When people stop talking to you, you become isolated.

It's incredibly selfish not to wear hearing aids if you need them. I guess because they're not the ones having to shout and repeat themselves then they don't care!

Squirrelsonthescaffolding · 14/08/2024 15:32

if you are in the UK you can get good quality hearing aids free on the NHS. He would have to ask his GP to refer him, he might be referred to Specsavers or somewhere else depending partly on your area and perhaps partly on his choice. It doesn’t matter how old you to get them on the NHS, but under 55 more likely to be seen in the hospital initially. It might be worth getting it checked, he can then make an informed decision about whether he wants aids at this stage if he is found to have hearing loss. I’m an audiologist and many new hearing aid users are pleasantly surprised by the comfort and cosmetics of modern hearing aids.

GrannyGoggles · 14/08/2024 15:34

I feel you!

My husband is even older, has had hearing loss since childhood which has deteriorated with age.

He did get a NHS aid which he didn’t get on with. Subsequently got a pricey one (totally deaf in one ear, so only one to fund).

It has helped a bit, but is not a magic bullet

Very frustrating for both of you.

Encourage him to try them. I vacillate between patient good humour and rage

Toddlerteaplease · 14/08/2024 15:39

I'm trying to get my dad to have hearing aids. He's deaf as a post. He had a hearing test that he said was normal. Although my mum apparently could do with some. Can't help think they get the results mixed up, as they have the same initials!

BestIsWest · 14/08/2024 15:43

Where are you OP? I went to the GP with hearing loss in December and had brand new aids, free, on the NHS by April.

Merro · 14/08/2024 15:44

I had a free test in boots which confirmed hearing loss. GP referred me to audiology on the NHS and a few weeks later I had hearing aids. All free including ongoing maintenance.
I thought I would try this first before committing to buying but haven't felt the need to upgrade.
Many people give up on hearing aids so not worth paying until you know you will wear them.

DoraSpenlow · 14/08/2024 15:49

Welcome to my world! If I had a pound for every time he says, what? Pardon? or I can't hear you in the course of a day I could go on several holidays. Not to mention the very surreal conversations we have because he has misheard.

To be fair he did go and get some hearing aids but finds them uncomfortable so tends to only wear them when we are with other people. Aarrgghh!

I do love him though.😀

notasockpuppet · 14/08/2024 15:50

mumonthehill · 14/08/2024 15:24

Dh had a free test in Boots then took the result to his GP, he was referred to audiology and got free hearing aids via NHS. It was not hugely long and much better than paying private. He is now seen as needed. Being able to hear has certainly made things better for us all!!!

I did exactly this, my (NHS) HA are Bluetooth and rechargeable. They are complete game changers.

Original poster
Oldbellows · 14/08/2024 18:10

Thanks for the feedback. I have relayed this to hubby! I have also seen that AirPods can be used as a sort of temporary hearing aid. More investigation needed there but might be a start….
Fingers crossed I can convince him to get them. I will talk very quietly to make him listen hard!

OP posts:
Lemonade2011 · 14/08/2024 19:14

I’m 45 and wear hearing aids as I have moderate hearing loss, I’ve not used my Bluetooth via nhs hearing aids yet but they do make a huge difference. It’s much better being able to hear with aids at 45 than sitting there struggling. Why isn’t he keen?

CoffeenWalnut · 14/08/2024 19:40

My MIL was like this: a complete nightmare for the family : it was only when I got fitted with HA (at 55 to her 80) that she saw reason and agreed to get them.
Our specialist told us that if you don't get them when you need them then you will gradually lose the ability to hear certain frequencies - so that even if you get aids later on they will not be able to give you such good quality sound. Moral of the story : don't delay and if you have HA wear them!

Windinmyhair · 14/08/2024 19:46

Better hearing/treating hearing loss with hearing aids etc can reduce the chances of dementia! Definitely needs doing! (Hope that will help your case!)

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 14/08/2024 19:48

Hearing aids aren't necessarily a magic bullet. DH is partially deaf and has hearing aids but because he can't hear certain frequencies they make no difference to high pitched sounds and amplify what he can hear too much. This is despite having them adjusted several times. Because of this he doesn't wear them unless we're going out and even then sometimes has to take them out.

Edited to add he does find they help watching TV or on the phone.

LakeFlyPie · 27/08/2024 19:47

My DDad is increasingly deaf and has recently had new hearing aids. He really struggles to hear anything unless it is one to one conversation with no background noise / chatter. In addition to being deaf he seems to be super sensitive to sound so often only wears one hearing aid or switches them off. He seems to be increasingly socially withdrawn and my DMum worries about his mental health. I read something about the brain adapting to hearing loss and resulting issues when hearing aids are introduced. Need to do some more research. Wondered about a private consultation but suspect the new NHS aids he's got are probably pretty good. Any advice would be appreciated

Smartish · 27/08/2024 20:03

Why go to specsavers or boots- go to your local hospital! Ask for a GP referral. Don’t see why you would pay when they’re the same hearing aids privately and NHS (and sometimes the NHS staff are better qualified too as they’re Audiologists rather than Hearing aid dispensers)

Smartish · 27/08/2024 20:16

CoffeenWalnut · 14/08/2024 19:40

My MIL was like this: a complete nightmare for the family : it was only when I got fitted with HA (at 55 to her 80) that she saw reason and agreed to get them.
Our specialist told us that if you don't get them when you need them then you will gradually lose the ability to hear certain frequencies - so that even if you get aids later on they will not be able to give you such good quality sound. Moral of the story : don't delay and if you have HA wear them!

whether or not you have hearing aids doesn’t affect your ability to hear certain frequencies but getting hearing aids at an earlier age allows you to get used to them earlier which is more beneficial. The underlying hearing levels aren’t affected either way.

SpanThatWorld · 27/08/2024 20:49

LakeFlyPie · 27/08/2024 19:47

My DDad is increasingly deaf and has recently had new hearing aids. He really struggles to hear anything unless it is one to one conversation with no background noise / chatter. In addition to being deaf he seems to be super sensitive to sound so often only wears one hearing aid or switches them off. He seems to be increasingly socially withdrawn and my DMum worries about his mental health. I read something about the brain adapting to hearing loss and resulting issues when hearing aids are introduced. Need to do some more research. Wondered about a private consultation but suspect the new NHS aids he's got are probably pretty good. Any advice would be appreciated

The difference between the quietest sound you can hear and the point at which loud sounds hurt is called the dynamic range.

People with hearing loss often have a much smaller dynamic range.

He needs to build up tolerance. Initially wearing when there are only quiet sounds in the room and slowly building up to normal sound levels.

Our brains need stimulation. Deaf people have disproportionately high level of mental ill-health and the link between deafness/dementia is firmly established.

Smartish · 27/08/2024 20:55

SpanThatWorld · 27/08/2024 20:49

The difference between the quietest sound you can hear and the point at which loud sounds hurt is called the dynamic range.

People with hearing loss often have a much smaller dynamic range.

He needs to build up tolerance. Initially wearing when there are only quiet sounds in the room and slowly building up to normal sound levels.

Our brains need stimulation. Deaf people have disproportionately high level of mental ill-health and the link between deafness/dementia is firmly established.

Show quote history

All of this plus his Audiologist ensuring that the loud sounds are set up correctly as they could perhaps be turned down or he could have a volume control added.

MereDintofPandiculation · 27/08/2024 21:19

Smartish · 27/08/2024 20:03

Why go to specsavers or boots- go to your local hospital! Ask for a GP referral. Don’t see why you would pay when they’re the same hearing aids privately and NHS (and sometimes the NHS staff are better qualified too as they’re Audiologists rather than Hearing aid dispensers)

In many areas, the NHS contract is with Specsavers. So if you go to your GP (you can't just go to hospital) you will be referred to Specsavers for hearing aids on the NHS

Smartish · 27/08/2024 21:22

MereDintofPandiculation · 27/08/2024 21:19

In many areas, the NHS contract is with Specsavers. So if you go to your GP (you can't just go to hospital) you will be referred to Specsavers for hearing aids on the NHS

Show quote history

yes but in many areas the NHS services are provided by hospitals. Additionally, where Specsavers provide NHS services, there is often still the option to be seen at a hospital. Just because a service is provided by a private company doesn’t make it superior,

FindingMeno · 27/08/2024 21:29

ByCupidStunt · 14/08/2024 15:29

Hearing loss is one of the biggest things that makes dementia worse.

If you think about it, if you can't hear people, they stop talking to you. When people stop talking to you, you become isolated.

It's incredibly selfish not to wear hearing aids if you need them. I guess because they're not the ones having to shout and repeat themselves then they don't care!

I sometimes wonder whether people who don't need hearing aids should walk a mile in our shoes before calling us selfish if we don't wear our hearing aids.
They aren't the complete answer always and sometimes the frustration and overwhelm is difficult to live with.

MrsHamlet · 27/08/2024 21:33

Windinmyhair · 14/08/2024 19:46

Better hearing/treating hearing loss with hearing aids etc can reduce the chances of dementia! Definitely needs doing! (Hope that will help your case!)

I kept sending my mum information about this - she was adamant that she could hear perfectly well and that I just have a quiet voice!

In the end, she got so sick of being nagged that she went for a hearing test... and it turns out that my voice wasn't the problem.

She was adamant that she wasn't having NHS ones, even though she is entitled, because she wanted them to be invisible. So she's bought some and they've made a huge difference.

HoppityBun · 27/08/2024 21:34

Cautionary tale: my grandfather had appalling hearing as he got older. He insisted that the hearing aides didn’t work and had the TV at full blast. A very kind man from the local hearing aides hope went to his home to find out what the problem was. It turned out that the hearing aides were absolutely fine. The problem was that he’d left it too long without using them. Apparently your brain has to adjust to hearing through them and if you leave it too long it can’t adapt.