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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked at an adult-only tea-shop?

39 replies

GreebosWhiskers · 16/04/2008 09:07

Before anyone gets their hopes up, it wasn't that kind of adult-only

On holiday a few weeks ago we were wandering around looking for somewhere nice to get a jammy scone (as you do) & spotted what looked like a nice wee tea shop. We checked out the menu in the window - looked good - & were just about to go in with 3yo dd & 17mo ds when I spotted, right at the bottom, some guff about being pleased to provide a relaxed & friendly adult-only atmosphere.

I have to admit I was gob-smacked & highly miffed. I was all for pretending I hadn't noticed the adult-only bit & going in with the DCs just to see if they'd chuck us back out again but dh wouldn't let me.

This was a very popular wee coastal village not far from Edinburgh & it gets a lot of foreign visitors - it's no wonder a lot of people think the British aren't child-friendly!

OP posts:
Tutter · 16/04/2008 09:08

sorry, but i guess it's their right

i'd rather any child-haters were tucked away in their very own ghetto than tutting wildly everywhere else

jumpingbeans · 16/04/2008 09:08

Where is it!where is it!where is it

Tutter · 16/04/2008 09:08

lol jumpingbeans

MaryBS · 16/04/2008 09:09

name and shame!

misdee · 16/04/2008 09:09

i want to go!

the world does not revolve around children

ecoworrier · 16/04/2008 09:12

As long as they make it clear to everyone, that's fair enough.

Threadworm · 16/04/2008 09:13

Why shouldn't people be allowed to provide a childfree cafe for goodness sake?

If everyone was compelled to provide/use child-welcoming restaurants etc it would be (a) unfair and (b) a licence for them to moan about and be unpleasant to families with children.

littlelapin · 16/04/2008 09:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fillyjonk · 16/04/2008 09:15

I think its not dissimilar to saying "no people with disabilities", or "no redheads"

Fine to specify behaviours that are not acceptable-fine to say "no loud voices", "no shouting". But not to just tell certain groups of people that they can't come in because...I don't know, other people don't like to be around them? We've been there before...

Of course they CAN do this, from a legal perpective. But I would think it was a bit feeble really.

Chequers · 16/04/2008 09:17

Message withdrawn

Tutter · 16/04/2008 09:17

do you really fillyjonk?

redheads/people with disabilities far less likely to disturb the peace that should accompany the consumption of a devon cream tea, ime

misdee · 16/04/2008 09:18

mmmmmmmmmmmmm cream tea...

Threadworm · 16/04/2008 09:19

And on the 'no people with disabilities', 'no redheads' analogy, we should presumably let children vote, get married, and watch 18-rated films

dejags · 16/04/2008 09:20

Bring it on.

Nothing worse, on the rare occasion that I have managed to farm my three out than having to contend with somebody elses unruly brood.

Perfectly reasonable of the shop owner IMO!

Chequers · 16/04/2008 09:21

Message withdrawn

Tutter · 16/04/2008 09:22

er, you just did chequers

and if it morphs into one of those threads, we'll know who to blame

AbbeyA · 16/04/2008 09:24

You already get child free hotels so it is just an extension of that.

Troutpout · 16/04/2008 09:24

oh god ..where?..sounds like my kinda place

misdee · 16/04/2008 09:24

thread last week on child free tea rooms near me i am planning on going once dd3 is in nursery and before #4 arrives.

littlelapin · 16/04/2008 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

taipo · 16/04/2008 09:26

I think it's their right. Would be interesting to know whether they make more money that way or whether they are just providing a 'service'.

Having said that, we were on holiday on the Isle of Wight a few years ago and trying to find somewhere to eat in Ryde. The first 3 places we tried all said 'no children' which I was a bit at as they were greasy spoon type places in a holiday resort. I love the Isle of Wight but that evening I felt very unwelcome there.

Fillyjonk · 16/04/2008 09:31

I think it is the same really, yes.

If someone behaves badly-ask them to leave

Presumably they allow loud coach parties and so forth who are far more disturbing of the peace than a toddler napping in their pushchair.

I do feel we should let people do things based on ability/behaviour not our perceptions of the group they fall into, yes.

kama · 16/04/2008 09:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

misdee · 16/04/2008 09:37

there are people out there who do want child free areas. i do. in fact, i have posted about this before much to the amusment of many mumsnetters i love my children, but there are time, albeit rarely, when i am out without them, and do crave some peace and quiet, and dont want to be around other peoples chidlren either. dh finds it funny as well. we went out for lunch recently, and were seated near a very loud family. they werent badly behaved at all, but the constant 'mum mum' did start to grate after a little bit.

i think i might be a not-very-secret baby hater.

wb · 16/04/2008 09:37

But children can be rather unrestful even if not behaving badly as such (or is that just mine?) I wouldn't like to be asked to leave a cafe just cause my 2 year old was behaving like one (and I don't mean screaming tantrums btw, just pretending to be a car, or wriggling a lot, or asking 'why does that man have a funny face mummy )

I think its fine to have child free places

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