to not want to deal with my husbands "oh poor me" behaviour?

[theressomethingaboutmarie]

So I returned to work full-time a few weeks ago after 5 months maternity leave. I'm up at 5:45am every weekday morning to get to work for 7:45am and then leave work at 4pm to collect DD at 5pm.

From the moment I get home, I am playing with DD, cleaning, tidying, doing laundry, preparing meals etc. My husband and I were in the kitchen together last night talking about his parent issue and I was listening, commenting and being very supportive. I was complimenting his behaviour in the situation etc.

So I finally get my bum on a seat by 9pm or so and am knackered. We're giving DD her night feed and notice that her grobag is broken. DH decides that now (during her night feed) is the time to fix it rather than just get another one, get her comfy, fed and back to sleep.

I tell him that we should just replace it and he gets all cranky about it; tells me to support DD's head whilst he's trying to (incorrectly btw) repair it. He then tells me that I'm standing in his light .

I, very quietly, tell him to stop messing around and grab a new grobag and put it in her cot, lay her in it and finish her feed. Job done.

So, whilst we are getting ready for bed, he tells me that I am nasty and that he feels unloved as I have no time for him . So, I ask him to clarify what he means (if my behaviour is out of line, I want an example so that I know what's ticking him off so I don't do it again); he says that he can't think of a specific example there and then.

Am I being unreasonable to a) feel really p*ssed off at his "oh, poor me" attitude and b) to feel like exploding because all I bloody well do is give and get naff all in return.

Sorry to vent, I'm angry!!

Great news! Make sure you bite your tongue though if he is not carrying out the jobs at the times you want though and let it continue for the whole week so that you both see the end result before either of you criticise it.

there's a book called "how to babyproof your marriage" which is actually quite funny and not what I expected (not sure what I expected as I don't normally read this self-help stuff). Anyway I would recommend it. It suggests the lists thing and a whole raft of other things.

Hi ya Squiffy - fancy meeting you here - yes time has flown by.....

OP hope things are calmer now you have agreed a divison of the work load, my DP struggled with DS as a little baby but now will spend lots of time playing with him as he is much more interesting, as he puts it. Hope the list works well..

If you can afford to, my advice would be to give up working full time and work part-time instead.

Three days a week seems to have been best for me and my relationship with my partner and our son. I no longer feel like everything needs to be done in the few short hours between getting home from work and going to bed.
Yet I still have a life outside of the house and therefore have things to talk about to my partner about the real world.