To ask for people's experiences of EMDR please

[JustForTheTasteOfItDC]

I started EMDR a few weeks ago to try and help with OCD around germs/contamination that started after one of my DC was hospitalised as a baby. I also have history of an abusive mum and was advised that EMDR might help with this too.

I'm finding the therapy itself really hard. The first treatment session (where we were actually using the EMDR technique) was ok, but in the second session I felt completely dissociated towards the end, and could barely string a sentence together. I know I dissociate in times of stress and it's happened before in therapy, but I'm usually able to get back out of it reasonably quickly, whereas it felt as though each section of EMDR was just pushing me back into dissociation.

I'm meant to be going tonight, and I don't want to go. I've got form for quitting therapy just when I'm hitting stuff that is really painful, so I don't know if my resistance is just because I'm processing such painful stuff and I'm about to make a breakthrough, but I'm also worried that becoming dissociated repeatedly will make things worse rather than better.

(Yes, I know I should talk to my therapist about this, but it feels such a weird dynamic and so different to other therapy that I've had before where there is a lot of talking, with a good therapeutic relationship being at the heart of the therapy. Sometimes I feel as though I am just irritating this therapist!)

Is what I'm experiencing normal and have other people experienced this and I just need to keep going? Or is it that the therapist and I aren't a good fit if I don't feel as though he even likes me very much!

Saved my life. But I had it to process trauma.

cried for about a week straight after my first session

defo talk to your therapist

Disassociating though is normal, your brains trying to process a lot at once x

Miraculous for my PTSD. I had no idea it was used for OCD.
Felt a ton lighter afterwards. My whole life improved a thousandfold.

It's normal to feel like that. My EMDR therapist warned me I would and told me not to drive for 15-30 minutes afterwards.

Can work very well. But it’s an intense and draining process
Good luck with it all

I provide EMDR. I am careful to tell clients beforehand how different it is to standard talking therapies, especially that when we stop a set and I ask what comes up I won't say much, we won't have a conversation - that's not because I'm not interested, I am, it's me trying to keep out of the way of the processing. Could that be the feeling you are irritating the therapist? If he doesn't engage with what you say at the end of the set it seems impatient/uninterested?

Is the therapist doing a safe place exercise with you when you dissociate? You need to be within your window of tolerance to process, is the therapist helping you get back into a state to process? That part concerns me the most in what you've said.

Thanks, it's helpful to know that it is somewhat normal - my therapist didn't mention that it might happen!

I don't think he has recognised that I have dissociated, and in the moment I can't say it either. IMO it's recognisable when I have because I just can't function - he is waiting for me to talk and tell him what the latest "round" (sorry for lack of proper terminology) has brought up, but I can barely speak. I can only look blankly ahead.

We have set up the safe place stuff but never used it during a session, he has just encouraged me to use it between sessions.

Really helped for my PTSD. Though I was a mess at the end of the first few sessions.

I don't like the sound of that. He should pick up if you're unable to speak!

I don't agree you should expect to be dissociated after a session, a therapist shouldn't be sending a client out like that. I allow extra time for EMDR clients so we can do a safe space and I can be confident they're in a fit state to go back into the world. And if the session is incomplete, i.e. you haven't fully processed the memory you're working on and installed the positive cognition, you should always have a safe space exercise after you finish the last set. It's a bit concerning if that's not happening, you need to be helped to be in a fit state before you leave.

Sorry I should clarify that we have done a safe space right at the end of the session, but that was after I would say about the last 5-8 sets of EMDR of me being in a dissociative state. Am I right that you are saying that it's at that point that we would need to stop and do the safe space exercise?

It really helped DH. It took quite a lot of sessions, but it completely turned his life around.

Yes, either a safe space or some reframing of the picture you're working from so you can tolerate processing. Basically for EMDR to work we need the memory to have some 'heat' in it and for us to activate that heat to get the processing happening.

What you're describing sounds like your picture is too 'hot' and your brain is dealing with that intense 'heat' by dissociating. There are ways of making the memory less hot but still hot enough to enable you to process. Your therapist should be getting you into that window of tolerance, where there's enough heat to get processing but not so much you dissociate. That's where the skill is, or else anyone would be able to follow a protocol and do EMDR.

Thank you so much, that's really helpful.

I had EMDR post my mums traumatic death and developing PTSD following trying talking therapy that just wasn’t working.

slow to get into it, but persevered. Uncovered deep deep pain I didn’t know was possible but for me session 10-12 I started to see major improvements in my life, I described it as ‘magic’. I ended up getting about 20 sessions and 3 years in considering getting some more sessions with some flash backs creeping back

please talk into your therapist and let them know how your feeling

I have a mixture of psychoanalysis and EMDR. We don't do the EMDR every session and we had several weeks of talking therapy before we started. He also sets me writing homework to send to him before the next session. It's already given me so much strength. It didn't feel like anything at the time, and then the next day I felt edgy. But after that. Fuck. Clarity. No more obsessive thoughts.

He's a fantastic therapist.

I really would like EMDR but can they work on a few different traumas? I've got a lottttttt of shit that has happened... like I wouldn't even like to write it down because it would need a really big bit of paper.

You have to tell your therapist you're dissociating- he's unknowingly working outside your window of tolerance if you don't tell him.

(Also I think you should always feel comfortable with your therapist so if you don't there are lots of other EMDR practitioners out there)

Yes! When I went through it, the therapist made me do a timeline of my life and I had to list the traumatic events that happened. Once you do that, it can help you piece things together that you didn’t realise were related if that makes sense. For example, I thought I developed panic attacks for no reason when I was 10, the timeline helped me realise what was the reason behind it.

For those of you who have had positive experiences would you mind sharing details of the therapist with me please (PM me if that’s better). I’ve been trying to get some recommendations in London or surrounding areas but no luck so far. Due to PTSD I have trust issues so would feel a lot happier possibly having therapy with someone who has been recommended (sorry to muscle in on this post). Thanks

I had EMDR years ago for PTSD. It changed my life. But I remember finding it incredibly draining. My therapist had told me to get someone to drive me there as I might want to be driven home and I'm glad I did that.

We did the safe space stuff too. Maybe you could ask your therapist to outline EMDR a bit for you, sounds like he maybe didn't.

Good luck with it, I hope it works.

I'm currently undergoing EMDR now on the NHS. I was only referred in November, and I've already had 19 sessions. My therapist is amazing and I trust him implicitly. It has been life-chsnging.

I had no idea what EMDR was, but once my GP recognised that I have complex PTSD from a rape at 18, 2 miscarriages and then a very horrific childbirth that brought back all the rape feelings (being pinned down, lack of control, feeling dehumanised with people yelling at me), she thought EMDR would be a good option. I read up on it and it sounded a bit bonkers, but I thought I would try. I am so glad I did.

It has been incredible and has helped me to process so much. It's been emotionally draining - especially having to think what I would say to my unborn babies and also writing a letter to my rapist, but these exercises have been weirdly cathartic and really helped with the processing. I've unpacked so much and my therapist has really helped me to take the heat out of the emotions and to remove any blame/shame and understand why my body reacted as it did when I was terrified.

We spent the first few sessions talking about the issues - but with me disclosing only what I wanted to (he didn't pry too much), and then we began processing. It has been so draining. I work full-time and my sessions are online at lunchtime, and I feel exhausted afterwards, and usually have to have a big nap when I get home. I do often feel unsettled in the afternoon.

The processing can be a bit weird. Sometimes I wonder what I'm supposed to say when I finish following the dots, and my therapist will ask what I am feeling, and I have no idea if I'm saying the right thing, but he said there's no right or wrong answer, and it's all about where your mind takes you. I am constantly surprised by where my mind goes and the clear messages, memories and thoughts that come up - some that have been buried for years. I've also had some strange physical reactions - whole body tensing up, feeling almost unable to breathe at times, tight chest, pseudo-contractions and almost feeling pinned down again. He says this is all completely normal and is just my body dealing with the memories.

In between sessions, I also find myself thinking a lot about what has come up and I have become really interested in the psychology behind my thinking and have googled a lot seeking answers/validation.

We created a "safe space" in about session 3/4. The image is always on the screen during processing and I selected 4 trusted friends who are also "there". Occasionally, my therapist will say "What would X do/say?", and for particular moments which have been difficult to process, we've even tried to reframe them with a trusted friend "intervening". Sounds mad, but was strangely effective. We always end each session by returning to my safe space, and the dots move far more slowly, so it's quite calming, which is always needed after such intense sessions. OP - I think it's really important to.let your therapist know about the disassociation, so that things can be adjusted to ensure you are fully benefitting from your sessions. Wishing you so much luck and sending the biggest hug. EMDR has been difficult, but also empowering, and I am amazed at how far I have come. I hope you are able to have a similar outcome.

I did it briefly as part of someone's training (very experienced practitioner but new to EMDR). I found it too hard to continue. I was functioning OK without it so decided to stop. It's definitely powerful. I hope you can talk to your therapist.

Life changing but it was an extremely intense process. After the first session I cried for about 2 hours andnhad to take the next day off I felt so vulnerable.
Be kind to yourself after the sessions. Give yourself space and safety to process in

I'm an EMDR therapist. I know it's hard, but please try to talk to your therapist. They definitely want to know if you're dissociating, they want to help.