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Original poster

To not want to attend wedding

51 replies

IcyPeachMaker · 12/08/2024 14:33

A couple of years ago at family party, my partners cousins husband got very drunk and decided it would be hilarious to pull my dress up and expose me, I was mortified by this and wanted to leave, my partner told me were not leaving he's just drunk and having a laugh and that I needed to lighten up and stop being sensitive. After this happened I decided I didn't want to attend any family partys, unfortunately last weekend they happened to be at a joint friend's party so I happened to bump into them, they didnt speak to me the whole party neither did I speak to them. There's a family wedding in a couple of weeks which they will all be attending I'd said I wasn't going to attend, partner is now saying because I've bumped into them since the incident and everything is 'fine' I should attend the wedding. I really don't want to, I don't like these people at all, I think there behaviors was totally unacceptable, aibu for saying I don't want to attend or should I stop being so 'sensitive' and attend

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 12/08/2024 14:35

Go to the wedding and just avoid them.

Hectorscalling · 12/08/2024 14:35

You don’t have to attend the wedding. If you don’t want to, don’t.

Personally, I wouldn’t miss an event for someone else because another guest is someone I won’t mix with. But that’s me, not you.

It’s really ok to say you don’t want to be around them.

TinyYellow · 12/08/2024 14:37

Any chance you’re using this as an excuse because you don’t want to go to the wedding anyway?

You have good evidence that they will avoid you so I don’t think this is a good reason not to go to someone else’s wedding.

bridgetreilly · 12/08/2024 14:37

Don’t go. And reconsider whether your partner is someone you want in your life, given his response.

KezzaMucklowe · 12/08/2024 14:38

Yanbu. If you don't want to go don't go. You shouldn't have to avoid the prick who pulled your dress up but if you want to avoid him then do it.
Your partner obviously won't have your back so it's not like you can rely on him.
You definitely weren't being sensitive BTW.

Redgreenfroggy · 12/08/2024 14:39

I can’t believe your partner found it funny. My husband would have wanted to punch him, not saying he would do but he would certainly tell him how much of a dick it is.
Tell your partner you will go to his families functions when he drops his trousers at one of your families functions. I bet he is not keen

VestPantsandSocks · 12/08/2024 14:39

Forget the cousins husband, why are you still with a partner who doesn't have your back and is happy for you to be embarrassed like that?!

And I wouldn't go to the wedding!

Lopine · 12/08/2024 14:39

That’s awful behaviour on their part. If they were not attending, would you be keen to go? If yes, I would go but avoid them. If they avoided you at the last event it suggests that they won’t give you further trouble.

If no, just give your apologies.

Hoppinggreen · 12/08/2024 14:41

If I wanted to go to the wedding I wouldn't let one Dickhead stop me BUT why isn't your Partner more annoyed about what happened and is supporting you?

Lavenderblossoms · 12/08/2024 14:42

Your husband should be supporting you.

He should be mad his disgusting cousin did that to you.

It's not funny at all. I would feel exactly the same as you. I would also tell my husband exactly what I thought of him for not supporting me.

What a juvenile bunch. Not you op.

purplecorkheart · 12/08/2024 14:43

Honestly, I would have left that party and given your partners reaction left him too.

Have you RSVP to the wedding? If you have saying that you are not going to go then it would not be fair to the bride or groom to attend.

I would not go to the wedding.

Gowlett · 12/08/2024 14:44

Your partner just wants to keep his family happy, which is understandable. But you don’t have the go to this wedding.

YellowRoom · 12/08/2024 14:44

A drunken twat pulled up your skirt in company and your DP said he was just having a laugh!! You have a DP problem.

PerfectTravelTote · 12/08/2024 14:45

The wedding and the cousins husband aren't your biggest problem here. Your husband is. He doesn't have your back.

If someone pulls your husbands trousers down at the wedding it would be interesting to see how he feels about it.

Original poster
IcyPeachMaker · 12/08/2024 14:46

Just a few things to add, the person getting married is another of partners cousins that I've only met once in last 18 years, so not somebody I'm that bothered about.
Parnter says he will always back his own family as there blood. Believe me it caused a huge argument and I have spent a lot of time thinking do I actually want to be with somebody like this but unfortunately I had a bad mental health breakdown a few years ago and I'm only just getting myself in a financially independent state to be able to do anything about it

OP posts:
TransvestitesOnParade · 12/08/2024 14:51

I wouldn't be going to the wedding and I also wouldn't be staying with this 'partner'. He sounds like a knob.

2sisters · 12/08/2024 14:57

Is rethink the relationship when you are in a position to do so. You were violated and your "partner" minimised it and did nothing. Honestly, he isn't a partner. He's clearly told you, that irrespective of how much of your life and love you give to him, his blood relatives will always come first even when they are in the wrong.

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 12/08/2024 14:59

IcyPeachMaker · 12/08/2024 14:46

Just a few things to add, the person getting married is another of partners cousins that I've only met once in last 18 years, so not somebody I'm that bothered about.
Parnter says he will always back his own family as there blood. Believe me it caused a huge argument and I have spent a lot of time thinking do I actually want to be with somebody like this but unfortunately I had a bad mental health breakdown a few years ago and I'm only just getting myself in a financially independent state to be able to do anything about it

I'm glad you're feeling better and will be able to leave this POS at some point. You deserve so much more.

Hoppinggreen · 12/08/2024 15:01

That perv who lifted your skirt isn't blood either though.

TheSandgroper · 12/08/2024 15:02

You being quiet at your recent meeting does not equal “all is fine”.

You are entitled to your opinion and you are entitled to stand your ground.

And what bit of “You’re not blood” = “forsaking all others” which, you know, he did get up there and “voluntarily enter into”, In front of witnesses, did he not understand? Or lie about?

Keep on keeping on there, @IcyPeachMaker , because you need to be getting yourself organised one of these days.

KezzaMucklowe · 12/08/2024 16:04

If you're not blood you're under no obligation to go to the wedding.
Do something lovely for yourself that day.
You deserve so much better op.

cheddercherry · 12/08/2024 17:59

That’s quite straightforward then; he can go to his party with his “blood” and you can stay home, do something nice for yourself and work out exactly what ducks you need to get in a row to be free of him.

yeesh · 12/08/2024 18:02

Your partner is an arsehole.

Sunburnisrareinscotland · 12/08/2024 18:03

Maybe get pissed and keg your dp.. See if he laughs....

stripedstripes · 12/08/2024 18:03

Never mind the wedding - why are you still in a relationship with someone so awful?