Ok this may be a long one I apologise in advance. Why do I let other people’s opinions get to me and make me doubt myself and then end up overthinking things and questioning if what I’m doing is right. Is anyone else like this? Today my sister messaged me to chat and she ended up making me feel bad and quite anxious (I have anxiety) Ok so a few weeks ago I got an email to say I’d won a competition for a 7 night cruise for two. I enter competitions as a hobby and never expect to win I just do it for fun so I was gobsmacked. Anyway once everything was confirmed with the cruise company i asked if I could possibly book my kids on the cruise if they want to come and was told I could at an extra cost of us of course.
My kids are 21, 18 and 13. I asked them did they want to come and all three of them said no. They like the idea of cruising just not this particular ship as it’s for old people apparently lol. I know my 13 year old shouldn’t really get a choice in the matter as he’s a child after all but there is not much on board for him to do aside from a kids club which he refused to go to and swimming which he also won’t do. You see he is autistic and very sensory to things. I’ve told him if he changes his mind of course he can come and we’ll book him on but up to now the plan is for him to stay home with his brother and sister who are more than capable. We sail on the 1st of September so he will be in school a couple days later and his routine is important to him eg we never take him out of school usually. I did feel guilty at first at the thought of leaving him at home but then everyone I’ve spoken to eg friends and family have all said he will be fine in his own home with two capable siblings and friends and family on hand to check in on him. So then why have I allowed my sister to make me feel like crap.
She messaged me this morning to chat and we got on to the subject of the cruise. She assumed I’d be going with my daughter as she had an expressed an interest in going to the destination we’re going to, but when she Googled the ship and cruise line she changed her mind. She said it’s too posh and not for her age so that was that. So I explained to my sister that I’d be going with my husband and she messaged back saying that I was brave leaving my son (who will be 14 by then) at home for a week and that she could never do that to her own kids as she’d feel to guilty. I explained that I had arranged for people to be on hand to check in on him and that he’d be in school most of the week anyway. She then messaged saying that she’s never even left my nephew for more than a couple of days and he’s 18 years old. I mean why can’t she just be happy for me? If she had won a cruise I’d never dream of questioning her choice to go alone with her partner. Instead I’d offer to help out or check in on her kids. I mean I am leaving my son with two full grown capable adults who happen to be his siblings and he is staying in his own home (as opposed to going to stay elsewhere) keeping his routine going. So why do I now feel like I’m a sh*t parent?