To get a dog?

[Northerngirl345]

That’s it really. We’re out of the house 7.30-4pm every week day so I’m worried it’s cruel BUT I seem to know loads of people who work longer hours than that and have dog(s).

My DM and DMIL would pop in and we’re both in education so have lots of holidays.

There's no way I'd get a dog just to leave it for so many hours each day. I think it would be more about your wants than the dog's needs.

What would popping in look like? Dog would need walking.

You should probably ask yourself what you can bring to the dogs life, before considering what a dog would bring to yours.

I have a neighbour who leave the dogs for multiple hours a day and they are not happy dogs when my neighbour isn't there.

Yes yabu
If you want some dogginess in your life do some dog walking for a charity.

Who would train the puppy, walk it, play with it and generally be company for it day to day?
Basically your talking about getting a puppy because you're only thinking about what you want and not what it needs, please don't get a puppy as it would be cruel and selfish.

You would need a dog walker I think to make that even slightly doable. And time it well if you get a puppy as you need to build up time alone. For example my puppy is 7 months and she only is left for 2 hours max at the moment and that is about once or twice a week

No. A rescue would not give you a dog and a puppy needs a lot of care and training in the first 12 months.

I have dogs and work long hours (out from 7am- 5pm) . I was at home when I got them... so I had a change in circumstances.

I get up at 5pm to walk the dogs - even on thouse dark, cold and wet winter mornings.
I get in from work and I will take the dogs out again. We have training class 3x a week on top of the walks.

DH works shift (6-2 / 2-10) and will go home in his break to let the dogs out.

... and that's just the weekday time aspect of having a dog!

as my mum used to say.., would you eat a shi.e sandwich because someone else did?

your questioning yourself, which is good, but you know deep down it’s not acceptable to leave a dog home for that long with someone just popping in.
what if they can’t pop in at some point?
it’s not ok to leave a dog home alone that long.
you t also have a dog who hates it and barks all day because of it, or gets really anxious which will bring you a whole heap of issues.

If you can time getting a puppy so that you are on holiday it would probably work. They can't really be left alone for any length of time when young for the first few months I think.

We make it work as we leave the house at 9 and the in laws come round and pick ours up at about 10.30 and take her out for a walk. They usually don't pop her back till about 4-ish. But will pop her back earlier if they have something on .

She's 4 now though and it wasn't as easy when she was younger. It also led to a lot of inconsistency on training...

One of us is home by 5pm . Also most weeks DH works from home on a Friday and I usually do another day at home.

I think you'd have to get a firm commitment as to what 'popping in' meant. And also be prepared to get up early to get a morning walk in. Ours sleeps from 9am to 10.30 near enough so is happy to get first wee of the day at 10.30.

Anyway, you probably can do it- but only with proper commitment or a dog walker.

Also not all dogs can be walked with other dogs, ours would hate it, and she also hated doggy day care.

I think this is why there are so many more dogs than there used to be, because people think this is OK and it’s been normalised. 20 or 30 years ago people mostly only had dogs if they were at home (retired, farm, dog could be with them where they worked etc).

I wouldn't, it's a bit cruel to be honest. Dogs are social animals. When we had our rescue greyhound, the advice was not to leave them for longer than five hours, and even that can feel like a long time. You have to think about the dogs quality of life as well.

Are they going to rip your house up out of boredom? When you come back in from from work after 7.30-4pm, are you going to be up for playing, walking and paying attention to your dog? Because they'll have been sitting around bored and lonely all day.

Why don't you try borrow my doggy for a while - that might satisfy your needs and see how you would find it xx

A neighbour of mine who worked full time got a dog. It literally cried and howled all day. Then she played with it for an hour in the evening and put it back in its cage overnight.

I found it so distressing I got her to let me dogsit it while she was at work for a whole year. After that I had to stop as it was getting nippy with my grandchild.

Just because other people do it doesn’t make it right.
Don’t do it. It’s cruel.

Just because other people are dumb enough to do it doesn't mean it's ok. Most of us learned that concept in primary school with the "if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?" question.

It's cruel. Dogs are pack animals and suffer a lot when left alone for long periods without their "pack". Someone popping in occasionally is not the same as having the security of their pack. Dogs need companionship, mental and physical stimulation, play, love, attention. What's the point in getting one if you are incapable of providing those things and plan to leave the poor creature alone for a majority of its life?

Would the dog survive? Yeah. Would the dog learn to cope being left? Yeah. Should it have to? Absolutely not. They're living things not accessories, and if you can't offer an animal an environment in which it can thrive, not just get by, you have absolutely no business whatsoever getting that animal.

Get a more independent pet.

I think it would be cruel and selfish. How sad for the dog to be alone all day most of the week.

YABU

And if you want a dog, its welfare shouldn't be reliant on other people.

Your dog, your responsibility.

It's a no from me too, sorry. Dogs are pack animals and need company, family dropping in occasionally wouldn't really cut it. The only way in your situation it would work is if you commit to doggy day care, or have a dog walker in each day - check how expensive this is though before you go ahead and get a dog. I have a little who come to work with me. They get a good walk in the morning, are let out for a wee at lunchtime, then they have company in the office during the afternoons.

It's a no from me too, sorry. Dogs are pack animals and need company, family dropping in occasionally wouldn't really cut it. The only way in your situation it would work is if you commit to doggy day care, or have a dog walker in each day - check how expensive this is though before you go ahead and get a dog. I have a little who come to work with me. They get a good walk in the morning, are let out for a wee at lunchtime, then they have company in the office during the afternoons.

You could only make it work if walking/camping are your hobbies and your plans will work around the dog. My DD is out those hours, but I live locally and do childcare. So the dog is walked during the day. Walked on the morning school run and we are back by 3.30. Two family members and me are happy to dog sit for breaks away and do vet runs. You'd have to pick the breed carefully and have proper conversations with the family who will help out. We had to board the dog once and it cost £350 for the week. A retired grey hound might be a good start off dog. Older and lazy once exercised.

Have you really had a proper discussion with your relatives about their ability or desire to do some care of the dog? Or are you just assuming they will/can? Some people don’t want to be tied to looking after other people’s dogs and don’t want to be thought of as mean or selfish for saying no.

have you thought about the tying effect on your social life? Holidays? Visits to family or friends? Shopping trips or day trips? Will you take the dog with you? Some dogs hate kennels.

basically are you prepared and able to put the dog’s needs above your own preferences for how you spend your free time/weekends? in the same way you would a baby or toddler?

we thought about all this and have decided that realistically we don’t want to give up our ability to choose how to spend our free time. I would die without a sleep in at the weekends. I don’t want to go away for the weekend and have to check whether everything is doggy friendly. Even the thought of having a dog in your hotel room while you’re trying to get all romantic on an anniversary trip - yuck!

I will never stay in a dog friendly hotel. Too many people now are just leaving their dog whining or barking in their room for hours while they have a meal and stay in the bar without it. It’s cruel on the dog and annoying for guests to hear.

also many beaches don’t allow dogs in peak holiday season, which you will be tied to, working in education, presumably.

are you prepared to deal with a dog which turns out to not be easy? Or have health problems? What will happen if the dog needs taking to the vet and you’re supposed to be in school? Your head won’t take kindly to you saying you need to leave cos there’s an emergency with your dog.

what about kids? Are you planning to have any? Do you want to deal with a dog pestering for a walk when you are sleep Deprived and breast feeding? What about space in the car when you want to go on holiday and have kids, all the luggage and dog too?

think about it VERY carefully. All the possible scenarios, which all the cute Doggie Facebook reels or instagrams don’t show you. Most people don’t think about the realities and ties carefully enough.

I think you need to be realistic and you have already breached the idea of it being cruel, which it would be. You need to look at the implications of buying a puppy, first of they require so much training and dedication. Are you okay with getting up, up to two hours earlier than you usually would before work to walk said puppy? And again in the evening?

What if puppy requires a vet visit or a follow up for whatever reason and you and DH are at work, your parents aren’t able to “pop” in? Are your jobs flexible enough to be able to arrange that or do you have someone to rely on? Because a sick dog can’t really wait the 9-10 hours. And if you’re lucky that he can - most vets working hours are 8-6, could you fit that into your lifestyle? Or would puppy have to go to the out of hours vets which is significantly more expensive. Do you have the energy to be getting up in the first few weeks to get puppy into a routine, toileting and training and then continuing the routine so he has some stability?

Financial point puppy will need insurance and if you’re going to go ahead and purchase a dog with this sort of routine you need to put into place dog walkers, freelancers can add up to be very expensive for house visits to let dog out to have some enrichment and walking in the day time. If you have a dog that is particularly hard to train you might find you have lots of regression and inconsistency if you don’t have the time for the dog - which causes behavioural problems.

If you are going to leave the puppy at home will he be crated? Even with an ample size crate and a dog that is crate trained appropriately is a significant amount of time for a dog not to be able to move around freely, and you’re likely to find you’ve got an overstimulated excitable puppy at the end of the day to return to after a long day at work for yourselves.

I would urge you to go and look at rescue pages or even the doghouse thread and read about the sheer amount of people who are rehoming their dogs due to being at their “wits end” or they “don’t have time for the dog” a year after purchasing a puppy. While I don’t agree with all the hoops and jumps you have to go through to rescue a dog from a reputable charity a lot of the times, this is one of the predominant reasons they would not rehome to a family who is not around because the likelihood of these dogs being returned with worsened behaviour is significant and it’s entirely unfair on the poor puppy.

A couple of cats would be better.
It easy to tell which are the friendliest from a few weeks old. Fine to be left from a young age as well

I love that my two DD's have dogs. I wouldn't want to commit to one because of health issues, but get dogs to walk etc. I've known elderly people get a dog and the adult DC/GC walk it, because they would love a dog but aren't at home enough. It does needs agreement though and no stupid, big, high energy, breed puppy, if the parents are 58+.

Ours live in the barn as we are on a farm, and people think we are cruel.. but I’d not leave mine all day. It’s hammering it down right and I’ve not been out to them in two hours. I feel horribly guilty and will be donning my waterproofs shortly.
In winter we let them in the boot room to hang out with us so they aren’t alone for too long. But in reality we are outside plenty in winter too as animals need tending to.
Even a working out door dog needs regular interaction I think. Occasional days out they’d be left all day but each and every day? What’s the point in having a dog otherwise?

Can you take the dog to the office with you?

Absolutely not. You know already that this is cruel. Dogs are social animals and need human company.

With the right dog it could work.
An older dog, ideally that had lived in a home before, and not of a needy, demanding breed.
IF your family would be prepared to pop by a couple of times a day.
You'd also need to be committed that your free time would very much include the dog.
I work FT and have multiple dogs but am up early with them before work and after work we are training and walking and weekends are often very canine centred.

A baby puppy wouldn't be a great fit.