To get a dog?

[Northerngirl345]

That’s it really. We’re out of the house 7.30-4pm every week day so I’m worried it’s cruel BUT I seem to know loads of people who work longer hours than that and have dog(s).

My DM and DMIL would pop in and we’re both in education so have lots of holidays.

I volunteered at a rehoming centre for years and agree. In my experience the majority of dogs in there are what I think of as 'passive' neglect - the owner never set out to be cruel but didn't think carefully enough before they got the animal and couldn't meet its needs (emotional, physical, mental). Still a shit life for the animal. Then there's what I think of as the active abuse where someone has deliberately mistreated the animal. That is horrific. TV programmes, adverts etc usually show the second case, but the 'passive' neglect can also do an awful lot of damage.

Yea it’s cruel.

Dogs Don’t have their favourite soap operas to keep them entertained all day long, books to read, friends to chat with. We are their whole lives and we should do everything we can to enrich them during the short time they’re on this planet.

Unless you’re committed to a good walk and play before work, paying for a dog walker every day for a decent hour walk and then you doing the same at the end of the day, don’t do it.

Honestly don’t do it!!!! I’m currently holidaying with a 15 year old pug, our DS aged 2 and 7 and it is a bloody nightmare!
we had got him when he was 8wks old and we adored him. I took him everywhere with me like he was my baby, family loved to dog sit him. Holidays were dog friendly beaches and sunny pub crawls…until 8 years later when our jobs got more demanding and we threw real babies into the mix!
Theres no too many dog/ child friendly things to do unless you plan on spending all day in open fields. Dogs arnt allowed in play areas, cinemas, swimming pool, theme parks, shopping centres, bowling, arcades…literally nowhere you will start going on weekends when you have a family which means your furry friend will not only be at home alone whilst your at work, they’ll be alone when you socialise. Then theirs the aging…they smell…pee/poop everywhere, barking for no reason and walking in circles due to doggy dementia is maddening..meaning no one wants to doggy sit anymore.

my advice don’t do it, if I could go back in time and tell myself not to get a dog I would, despite all those lovely years! It is a massive commitment and could impact your life for the next two decades! Ps we’re not the outdoorsy type so dog ownership was never going to suit us I suppose. But he’s been loved and will be loved until he’s gone… I love my dog but HATE owning a dog!

Only if you can arrange 'Doggy daycare' for your working days. A quick visit from your Mum and mother-in-law each day is not enough company for a pet that lives for it.

Get a dog if:

You're happy and able to take a good three to six months off work to settle dog in, longer if its a puppy.

Or you're able to pay someone else to be with the dog/puppy for that time frame all the time you're out.

Whilst 'someone popping in' can work for some dogs, typically and particularly with puppies, it doesn't work and will stack up behaviour problems for later as well as causing immediate problems like barking/howling and a highly stressed animal who then struggles to sleep/learn/handle the rest of daily life.

It is not natural for puppies to cope by themselves until well into adolescence or even after - it is adolescence that gives social, gregarious species like dogs the kick to move on, away from their family group. We have done nothing to alter that behaviour/those genetics in dogs, not a sausage. In fact we have capitalised on dogs desire to stay in and monitor who is in or out of a social group - it is where we get both herding and guarding instincts from!

Even if your dog miraculously is 100% fine alone, reliable, no wobbles at all (never going to happen) - then you're still not present to teach the things you need to teach during the day, and you're also not present to avoid them learning things you do not want them to learn. You cannot make up for this when you get home from work.

So if you're determined to get a dog - and can afford daycare/sitters (not all dogs can go to daycare and not all daycares are particularly good for dogs, they simply mean the barking is occurring outwith your home)...

Then get a retired Greyhound - they are low energy, low- problem solving (though theres always the exception to prove the rule there) so whilst they're not generally stupid (just under educated) they aren't getting themselves into trouble like the super genius problem solvers are.

Its a lot of money, and a lot of work at times where you will naturally want to relax, and may well mean compromises on things you'd ideally do (ie, its not fair to be absent from the dog for 8 hours a day ... and then come home and expect to be shut away from the dog for another 8 hours sleep, and also expect to spend several hours doing chores, watching tv, going out for meals etc, all where you expect the dog to lie quietly not being interacted with, or even remain in another room... that can easily add up to a dog isolated and ignored for 18 to 20 hours a day, every day!).

I too work in education so have the school holidays but absolutely no way would I leave our dog that long. It’s just cruel. Please don’t do it OP. People popping in isn’t sufficient. Pay for a dog walker.

Not doable, especially if you want a puppy. You can't leave them alone at first, and then you have to gradually train them to be able to stay home alone. Takes about a year, and they regress during puberty. Even if you somehow ended up with an older dog that's fine being left alone all day (unlikely, and no charity will let you adopt a dog with these working hours), are you prepared to get up at least one hour earlier than you do now to walk the dog in the morning, and then take it for another long walk right after you get back home? No matter the weather?

Why do you even want a dog? You should get a cat instead.

I'm not sure it's possible OP. Certainly not a puppy or nervous rehome.
Puppies need someone around full time for the first 8-12 weeks imo. There's toilet training, vaccinations, preventing chewing, command training, puppy classes, socialisation, separation training, sleep training. It's relentless if you want a well balanced dog.

You then have teenage years when it goes to pot and their exercise needs increase, often sexual behaviour starts and training needs reinforcing.

Once you get to 2/3 years old, behaviour balances out and yes, you may get away with paying a dog walker to take the dog out in the morning and a family pop in, in the afternoon. But that costs money. And doesn't account for the dog needing to see the vet because they do all manner of stupid things. Time off work? Not easy if you're a teacher. Plus, they cost a fortune!

You cannot leave a dog alone for that amount of time. Someone 'popping in' is not good enough. Having a dog is like having a toddler, would you leave a toddler on their own for that amount of time?

Our next door neighbour has dogs that are left alone all day apart from someone popping in at lunchtime. The are absolutely miserable, bark a lot and it's really cruel.

I used to dog sit when i was younger and the dogs I looked after generally wanted to follow me everywhere or be on the sofa next to me. Dogs are not happy being left alone for hours, they might resign themselves to it because they have no other option, but they won't be happy.

Please don't get a dog with the excuse that it's ok because other people also treat their dogs badly.

If you want some dog company then look at Walk My Doggie or The Cinammon Trust charity who match you with local people who own dogs but cant walk then. Very rewarding.
Dont get a dog to leave at home all day.

I wouldn't get one unless you can spend time with the doggo or afford doggy day care.

That's too long to leave a dog every day especially if it's a puppy/young dog. It is likely to end up with behaviour issues due to boredom and separation anxiety.

Only way it would work is for someone to come and give the dog a decent walk during the day or use a doggy daycare service.

I hear there might be some whippets available soon.

What are your thoughts OP, after listening to lots of sensible advice?

Dogs are basically like small children. They need lots of attention, companionship, training, time and love. If you cant provide that it's best not to get a dog. They will become depressed and miserable.

A cat might be a better choice. But they also need love too.

Animals need a lot more than many people expect to be healthy and happy.

Especially if you are getting a puppy they can’t really be left for a good few months. Dogs need to be with their pack more than alone. If your fanily are at home and will have her that could work.,Dog daycare is an option. I have a dog and love her to bits. 4 years now. Am considering a career change which would mean our all day, this will require all sorts to ensure she is not alone more than a few half days. Remember depending on breed this is a ten year + commitment.

They won't be coming back, because the answers were a unanimous no. Instead, they'll go and buy their puppy, probably from somewhere like Pets4Homes, and it'll turn up in a rescue centre 6 months from now.

I think you are correct. So sad.

It's beyond depressing but, I agree with @WalkingonWheels. From the tone of the OP it seemed that they had made up their mind already, from the breezy "we're out of the house from 7.30 am until 4.00 pm every day but other people who have dogs are out longer" and "DM & MIL will pop in" 😕

Thanks all - have absolutely decided NOT to get a dog.

I knew, in my heart of hearts, it wasn’t doable but I needed to know I wasn’t being daft.

Im the future, there may be a way of my partner taking a potential dog to school so we’ll see if that could work in the future.

I’d taken the kids away for a couple of days…and absolutely hadn’t made my mind up - otherwise why ask for advice!

Oh and thanks for the cat suggestions but we have two (very elderly) cats that we’ve had from kittens….but we’re all dog obsessed.

i think we’ll give borrow my doggy a go to give everyone their dog “fix” until such time as we can commit more hours to a dog.

Hope you had a lovely time away, op :)

Where I am, someone's just listed their puppy on borrow my doggy for extra walks - why get a dog if you cant even give time as a puppy?? So sad.