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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Update on the thread about eating take aways every night with with the kids

154 replies

Lifeischaos12 · 10/08/2024 18:29

Hi
I posted a while ago advice about how I pretty much grabbed food on the way home with the kids every day because I was so overwhelmed with life and fitting things in.
background I was a newly widowed mum of 3 who works full time ( 4 days a week but full time hours)
one child being significantly Sen.
I had just fallen behind in life and I was struggling to maintain cooking / the house / work / the kids. I had recently gone from having 2 children to 3.

update - life insurance came through so I took some time of work to catch up. We had some lovely breaks away , seeing family and friends and we just had some much needed us time. I then made changes to the house. I scaled down our belongings by at least 50 percent. For example
clothes - they all needed size ups so we got rid of everything and I bought them 7 days worth of clothes and 5 days worth of uniforms. 1 coat 1 pair of school shoes, 1 pair of wellies and 1 pair of trainers. 7 T-shirts, 7 jumpers and 7 pairs of leggings / joggers. It was amazing at how many clothes they all had and how washing was such a task, I emptied the cupboard of bedding and towels etc and scaled right back. 2 x towels each so there is now 8 towels in the house and 2 x bedding sets I closed sheets each so now 8 of those to. Everything else went.
the kids went through all their toys and books and scaled right back which in turn means they actually use their stuff now. They all have one kallax unit in their bedrooms and no other toys. Books have a new rotation system. We have an art and games supplies kallax in the spare reception room.
Books are one in one out. We donate a book everytime we buy a new one.
so they are much less now to although still reading the same amount.
I bought an air fryer / slow cooker, one of those robot hoovers and a bigger washing machine ! I also bought a dishwasher.
i now work Monday - Thursday but full time hours condensed. On the Friday when the school aged two are at school I do the full house clean whilst doing the washing baskets from each child’s room.
youngest to oldest and their bedding.
I actually found putting the washing machine on game me a sort of timer to get a room done and cleaned - in my brain this really helped 🤣🤣
each day I would obviously do small re sets so that it never got to bad. Timed this for 45 minutes ( again setting a timer really really helped )

on a Friday early evening we go out for 1 dinner now and then do the weekly food shop together.
we made a food planner including lunches and we are doing fairly well at sticking to eat. Most of the dinners can be pre prepared / batch cooked. On Saturday and Sunday I now prepare dinner on the actual day. We have some time now over the weekend to enjoy each others company because I don’t have anything really to do apart from
the small resets. On Sunday evening when the kids are in bed, I cook for the next 4 nights to just heat up when we get in from work and school mon - Friday. I’m getting now at least 6 hours sleep a night.
anyway thank you all for your brutal honestly, kind words and advice. We are in such a better place now, we are all happier for it and have got used to our new normal. ❤️❤️

OP posts:
Wantitalltogoaway · 10/08/2024 22:13

I dont think I read your original thread but it sounds like you have really turned things around. Amazing!

Is there no way you could afford a cleaner? I’m a single parent to 3 too and I have one. It makes a HUGE difference and only costs about £100 a month.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 10/08/2024 22:19

Incredible!! I remember your origin threads and thought how strong you were and you’ve proved it again! Amazing ❤️

Ioverslept · 10/08/2024 22:28

Wow, that is amazing! I am in awe, truly inspiring, well done!

RaininSummer · 10/08/2024 22:34

I remember your thread. Well done. What amazing thought went into getting the house and everything working for you rather than against you.

Gallowayan · 10/08/2024 22:37

Sorry for your loss. I don't think rellying on takeaways for a while was such an awful thing; it allowed you to cope and get through a major crisis. Really heartwarming to read how you are making a go of your life

Alwaystired23 · 10/08/2024 22:42

What a great up date. Well done, OP.

herbygarden · 10/08/2024 22:42

What a wonderful update OP, you sound amazing! I am in awe! Xxx

turkeymuffin · 10/08/2024 22:57

This is so inspiring well done you

WithIcePlease · 10/08/2024 22:59

I remember your thread. Great result!

How did it happen? Was it feedback from here of ideas or did it just crystallise naturally from writing your post? Did you do it in stages or just go for it all at once?

saltinesandcoffeecups · 10/08/2024 23:24

Glad you found your feet again!

Lifeischaos12 · 10/08/2024 23:29

WithIcePlease · 10/08/2024 22:59

I remember your thread. Great result!

How did it happen? Was it feedback from here of ideas or did it just crystallise naturally from writing your post? Did you do it in stages or just go for it all at once?

I think all of it, I was not gaining control of anything. The house was so cluttered I could never relax. I suppose I realised that no one was going to be able to fix it but me. It sounds awful but I’ve always been the at work mum. I didn’t do the cooking etc and so it all felt too much. It didn’t happen instant. We went away for a bit away from everything. I had some time of work which I think is what was the main thing that helped. Once the house was decluttered and I got ourselves in a routine it’s been better.
it’s not perfect there is definitely days where I miss steps 🤣🤣 but it’s the best it’s been so far.

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 10/08/2024 23:52

Wow seriously impressed! Well done!

ExpectantEs · 11/08/2024 00:12

I remember your post! Proud of you & well done x

Clammyclam · 11/08/2024 18:09

A very un mumsnetty hug for you! I have often thought about you and your post over the last few months and I am so glad I saw the update!!
hooray for you!! I’m genuinely so happy for you!
wishing you all the best in this next stage 😍

Justontherightsideofnormal · 11/08/2024 18:24

Lifeischaos12 · 10/08/2024 18:29

Hi
I posted a while ago advice about how I pretty much grabbed food on the way home with the kids every day because I was so overwhelmed with life and fitting things in.
background I was a newly widowed mum of 3 who works full time ( 4 days a week but full time hours)
one child being significantly Sen.
I had just fallen behind in life and I was struggling to maintain cooking / the house / work / the kids. I had recently gone from having 2 children to 3.

update - life insurance came through so I took some time of work to catch up. We had some lovely breaks away , seeing family and friends and we just had some much needed us time. I then made changes to the house. I scaled down our belongings by at least 50 percent. For example
clothes - they all needed size ups so we got rid of everything and I bought them 7 days worth of clothes and 5 days worth of uniforms. 1 coat 1 pair of school shoes, 1 pair of wellies and 1 pair of trainers. 7 T-shirts, 7 jumpers and 7 pairs of leggings / joggers. It was amazing at how many clothes they all had and how washing was such a task, I emptied the cupboard of bedding and towels etc and scaled right back. 2 x towels each so there is now 8 towels in the house and 2 x bedding sets I closed sheets each so now 8 of those to. Everything else went.
the kids went through all their toys and books and scaled right back which in turn means they actually use their stuff now. They all have one kallax unit in their bedrooms and no other toys. Books have a new rotation system. We have an art and games supplies kallax in the spare reception room.
Books are one in one out. We donate a book everytime we buy a new one.
so they are much less now to although still reading the same amount.
I bought an air fryer / slow cooker, one of those robot hoovers and a bigger washing machine ! I also bought a dishwasher.
i now work Monday - Thursday but full time hours condensed. On the Friday when the school aged two are at school I do the full house clean whilst doing the washing baskets from each child’s room.
youngest to oldest and their bedding.
I actually found putting the washing machine on game me a sort of timer to get a room done and cleaned - in my brain this really helped 🤣🤣
each day I would obviously do small re sets so that it never got to bad. Timed this for 45 minutes ( again setting a timer really really helped )

on a Friday early evening we go out for 1 dinner now and then do the weekly food shop together.
we made a food planner including lunches and we are doing fairly well at sticking to eat. Most of the dinners can be pre prepared / batch cooked. On Saturday and Sunday I now prepare dinner on the actual day. We have some time now over the weekend to enjoy each others company because I don’t have anything really to do apart from
the small resets. On Sunday evening when the kids are in bed, I cook for the next 4 nights to just heat up when we get in from work and school mon - Friday. I’m getting now at least 6 hours sleep a night.
anyway thank you all for your brutal honestly, kind words and advice. We are in such a better place now, we are all happier for it and have got used to our new normal. ❤️❤️

I’m so pleased you have done an update. I remember your post well. Sounds like you are nailing this new life.

tommyhoundmum · 11/08/2024 18:46

Well done you!

scarecrow22 · 11/08/2024 18:53

What a courageous and lovely sounding person you are. I am so sorry you have suffered such a difficult loss, and wish you all the support and love you need for the future.

Stars2theside · 11/08/2024 19:10

Clammyclam · 11/08/2024 18:09

A very un mumsnetty hug for you! I have often thought about you and your post over the last few months and I am so glad I saw the update!!
hooray for you!! I’m genuinely so happy for you!
wishing you all the best in this next stage 😍

This! Well done to you - I’m also in the process of trying to declutter my life - I don’t have any issues like yours, I’ve just let things pile up and get on top of me and in resentment for always being the one who has to sort everything out!! But I’ve now come to realise that it’s pointless, it just makes me miserable! Once it’s sorted - if the attitudes don’t change in my house then I’ll be telling that person to bugger off elsewhere and declutter that person from my life too! 😁 Raising a glass to you tonight 🍷

Marchingonagain · 11/08/2024 19:28

This is great to read. Well done, OP. Thanks for coming back to update us. It’s nice to read good news!

Boysgrownbutstillathome · 11/08/2024 20:18

Lovely update, well done you!!!

Moll2020 · 11/08/2024 20:47

What a lovely post, you sound like a wonderful Mum to your children x

MissFancyDay · 11/08/2024 20:58

How brave you have been, well done OP x

DiduAye · 11/08/2024 21:03

Well done

Mrsgreen100 · 11/08/2024 21:06

WELL DONE
you are a total wizard
and have inspired me
thank you 🙏

RingInTheNew · 11/08/2024 21:06

I remember your post. I think you sound amazing and you are blessed with bags of motivation - not always easy! You have completely inspired me. Thank you and good luck xx

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