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AIBU?

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Update on the thread about eating take aways every night with with the kids

154 replies

Lifeischaos12 · 10/08/2024 18:29

Hi
I posted a while ago advice about how I pretty much grabbed food on the way home with the kids every day because I was so overwhelmed with life and fitting things in.
background I was a newly widowed mum of 3 who works full time ( 4 days a week but full time hours)
one child being significantly Sen.
I had just fallen behind in life and I was struggling to maintain cooking / the house / work / the kids. I had recently gone from having 2 children to 3.

update - life insurance came through so I took some time of work to catch up. We had some lovely breaks away , seeing family and friends and we just had some much needed us time. I then made changes to the house. I scaled down our belongings by at least 50 percent. For example
clothes - they all needed size ups so we got rid of everything and I bought them 7 days worth of clothes and 5 days worth of uniforms. 1 coat 1 pair of school shoes, 1 pair of wellies and 1 pair of trainers. 7 T-shirts, 7 jumpers and 7 pairs of leggings / joggers. It was amazing at how many clothes they all had and how washing was such a task, I emptied the cupboard of bedding and towels etc and scaled right back. 2 x towels each so there is now 8 towels in the house and 2 x bedding sets I closed sheets each so now 8 of those to. Everything else went.
the kids went through all their toys and books and scaled right back which in turn means they actually use their stuff now. They all have one kallax unit in their bedrooms and no other toys. Books have a new rotation system. We have an art and games supplies kallax in the spare reception room.
Books are one in one out. We donate a book everytime we buy a new one.
so they are much less now to although still reading the same amount.
I bought an air fryer / slow cooker, one of those robot hoovers and a bigger washing machine ! I also bought a dishwasher.
i now work Monday - Thursday but full time hours condensed. On the Friday when the school aged two are at school I do the full house clean whilst doing the washing baskets from each child’s room.
youngest to oldest and their bedding.
I actually found putting the washing machine on game me a sort of timer to get a room done and cleaned - in my brain this really helped 🤣🤣
each day I would obviously do small re sets so that it never got to bad. Timed this for 45 minutes ( again setting a timer really really helped )

on a Friday early evening we go out for 1 dinner now and then do the weekly food shop together.
we made a food planner including lunches and we are doing fairly well at sticking to eat. Most of the dinners can be pre prepared / batch cooked. On Saturday and Sunday I now prepare dinner on the actual day. We have some time now over the weekend to enjoy each others company because I don’t have anything really to do apart from
the small resets. On Sunday evening when the kids are in bed, I cook for the next 4 nights to just heat up when we get in from work and school mon - Friday. I’m getting now at least 6 hours sleep a night.
anyway thank you all for your brutal honestly, kind words and advice. We are in such a better place now, we are all happier for it and have got used to our new normal. ❤️❤️

OP posts:
Insidenumber09 · 10/08/2024 20:41

comedycentral · 10/08/2024 18:36

I remember your thread, I'm so pleased to hear how you are doing. If you ever get more time on your hands, you should write a book! I'm sure it will help people experiencing what you went through.

I agree with this too, you should write a book. Congratulations you’ve been through a lot you should be so so proud of yourself. xx

coolcahuna · 10/08/2024 20:45

I didn't read your original thread but just wanted to say this is really inspiring, what a strong woman you are & massive well done for focusing on your family.

WickieRoy · 10/08/2024 20:46

Brilliant OP, you should be so proud of yourself. I'll admit I'm not surprised - it was obvious on your other thread that you're made of strong stuff in the way many women are. I'm seriously impressed though.

Please don't judge yourself harshly for the takeaways, it was what you needed to get through a horrendous period. Don't be afraid to take the easy option on occasion if needs be in the future. You know you can go back to your new routine when you're past whatever bump in the road.

doubtingmyselfagain · 10/08/2024 20:49

This is such a lovely post to read, I am really happy for you! Thank you for updating us ❤️

Starlightstarbright3 · 10/08/2024 20:51

This thread should go into classics to read how far someone can come from such a tough place .

You are amazing Op 🥳

mitogoshi · 10/08/2024 20:53

That's amazing and a lesson in organising to us all!

Don't feel guilty if you slip up a bit occasionally too, and my tip is to have easy cook options to pull out from time to time.

ConfusedKoala13 · 10/08/2024 20:55

Brilliant update - well done OP.
Sounds like you've found a great balance.

coxesorangepippin · 10/08/2024 20:55

Awesome result

You sound amazing 😍

Junestwitchyeye · 10/08/2024 20:56

Oh OP, what a fantastic update! I love it when we get an update for starters but honestly you're really nailing it.

Make sure to take time for you x

(And maybe you've encouraged my lazy arse to get a bit more organised too!)

TheFormidableMrsC · 10/08/2024 21:04

What an amazing woman you are! Well done, I think I need to take some tips from you! Flowers

Wishingiwastracytutor · 10/08/2024 21:08

Fantastic well done you xx

wildhay · 10/08/2024 21:16

This is so great to read, well done 💓

NoLidlNoJoke · 10/08/2024 21:19

You are absolutely amazing 😍 well done!

merryandbrightdelight · 10/08/2024 21:28

Ah what an amazing update ❤️ huge well done op! Love to see positive threads like this. You are doing amazing, and I bet your children are so proud of you

Countingcactus · 10/08/2024 21:29

Wow, you sound like a superstar! 🌟 Amazing, well done

LunchBoxPolice · 10/08/2024 21:33

I remember your original thread - this is such a lush update! Happy for you OP, well done x

Awumminnscotland · 10/08/2024 21:34

Very inspiring update. Thank you. You sound strong and connected.

Pointynoseowner · 10/08/2024 21:35

Fantastic update, fantastic woman. Well done your amazing 👏

rubeelum · 10/08/2024 21:37

You’re a warrior woman, well done op.

FawnFrenchieMum · 10/08/2024 21:40

Well done OP, you have done amazing at such a difficult time!

BiffandChip1 · 10/08/2024 21:42

This is the best thing I've read all day - well done you 💗👑

MildredRocks · 10/08/2024 21:43

You are amazing, and are very clearly bossing it! Delighted to read this update as I remember your original thread. It sounded like you were filled with mum guilt, but were just doing the best you could to tread water. What a lovely update to read.
I'm sure it is not always easy, but sounds like you have an amazing system in place for you and your children x x

Mostlyoblivious · 10/08/2024 21:58

Thanks for a lovely update - inspiring!xx

Sapphire387 · 10/08/2024 22:06

I remember you. Bless you and your kids, OP. Wish you all the best.

Yourethebeerthief · 10/08/2024 22:11

This is great OP. I remember your last thread. So pleased for you, you've done an amazing job x