Is it bonkers to arrange a 9-year-old babysitter?

[AuntieAunt]

I told myself this is bonkers but after spending 2 hours start and stopping mopping the kitchen floor I’m semi tempted.

There’s a little girl, let’s call her Rosie who’s friends with my neighbours little girl who is slightly younger (Lily*).

Rosie is spending a fair amount of time with my neighbour as they’ve got a childcare arrangement this summer whereby both kids keep switching between houses between holiday clubs. I’ve also had Lily over here over the years when neighbour has needed a hand. So while I don’t know Rosie’s mum she could potentially be reassured by Lily’s mum that I’m not a complete nutter.

This summer I’ve had more than usual invites over to Lily’s house as the girls would like to play with my DD (not yet one). It’s been great, I’ve been able to enjoy a hot coffee whilst the girls play with DD. I can tell that Lily gets bored after a short while and that it’s obviously Rosie’s idea to invite us over.

Rosie is stuck to DD. Even if I’m holding DD, she’ll want to hold her had and engages with conversation about her. She says she loves babies, her younger cousins and even invited us over to her house! (Could you imagine the post about a CF who left a one year old for a ‘play date’). Rosie has offered to babysit for free!

As this thread is already long enough, I know it’s completely bonkers to get in contact with Rosie’s mum and ask if Rosie would like to come over to a strangers house an hour here and there to play with DD. I have a pile of clothes I need iron which is just impossible to do during the day, and by the time DD goes to bed I’m knackered. I’d obviously be supervising, it’s just for Rosie to keep DD entertained while I run around to do chores. I’d be happy to pay a nominal amount as I’d feel I was taking advantage of Rosie’s good nature, but maybe I’m talking myself into this, but maybe do her mum a favour too if she finds herself stuck for childcare herself?

Is your DD 9 and you're asking if it's bonkers to get a babysitter to entertain her?

Or is your DD younger and the neighbour's DD is 9 and you're asking if it's OK to let a 9yo entertain your toddler?

As long as your in the same room it’s fine, 🤷🏼‍♀️

Personally I think it's fine if you're going to be supervising closely. Really you're just looking for your dd to have someone to play with and distract her for a little while you are getting some jobs done within eyesight. I'd be inclined to pay Rosie for her work though and I wouldn't leave them outside of eye line.

No, the novelty will wear off and you'll end up stuck with an extra kid to look after. Also, she's not responsible if anything were to go wrong, such as a bumped head.

The op has a one year old baby. She wants to invite a 9 year old over to entertain her baby while she irons.

It's really clear.

Op it is a bit weird sorry.

I think Lily and mum will hate you for not offering Lily the job ( even though I can see why you'd want Rosie)

I think she is too young to ask to work for you.

Exactly this

Yep this is it. I thought I had to put bit of a backstory or they’d be confusion to where I was hoping to find a child to watch my child.

Three weeks ago, I would have never even considered it/thought it was weird. But after DD keep wanting to put her hand in the mop bucket, I started to convince myself that this could work 😅.

I was 99% sure this was strange and not to try to make this work.

thank you for not making a tit out of myself.

Oh gosh I thought you were going to say whilst you went to the shop or for a night out! Yes of course it's fine, as long as you are in the same room. It'll be really cute, with the mother's blessing, to give her a little wage packet for "babysitting". Don't make a rod for your own back thought op, otherwise you'll end up looking after two dc instead of just the one!

This is why I haven’t discussed it with Lily’s mum.

As far as nine-year-olds go, Rosie seems to be mature, responsible and actually interested in ‘babysitting’.

Lily is lovely, but you’re typical 8-year-old. She was getting annoyed at DD knocking down her towers 😂

Its not that long ago (okay perhaps about 40+ years) that a neighbours sub 10 year old girl would knock on the door and ask to take 'the baby' out for a walk in the pram. And off they would go, to the park or around the streets, with the baby safely strapped in. If you were feeling generous a few pence payment was all that was required and all parties were happy.

OP if Rosie and her Mum are happy with this suggestion and theres no expectation on either side I can only see it as happy arrangement . It will of course not be long lasting but you can at least manage to get some household jobs done this summer.

Can't you just invite the 9 yo and call it a play date. Then just go off and do chores while they're playing in the house?

Dd is 9 and is regularly "employed" as the unofficial babysitter! Admittedly, it's for a family where she is friends with their 8 year old and is able to play and interact with their ND 10 year old. Because she is quite sensible, she has been invited over a few times when they are hosting othwr families. She is not considered responsible for the other children in any way whatsoever, but the parents find things easier when she's there and she likes it. She also knows she doesn't have to be responsible.

I thought about this when DS was coming up for 2, neighbour DD was 10, so I totally get it. We decided it was too weird to ask. You could offer to babysit both girls perhaps, but not just the kid whose parent you don't know.

Where I am, we would call that type of help a mother’s helper. My 10-year-old has done it a few times. Shes always asked properly and prepped by me before she goes. It’s also never more than 2 hrs and a parent is always home.

As an older MNer who was a kid in the 60s, the only problem I can really see is the fact that you don't really know Rosie's mum. It was quite normal for older kids to keep an eye on the little ones, but that was in situations where everyone knew everyone else.

Can you get to know her better first?

Going against the grain here - I have a just 10 year old DD who would’ve been OVER THE MOON to be thought of for this. As someone else said the only thing that I would do is get to know the mum a bit more.

Trying to think of how I’d feel if dd was invited to her friend’s neighbor’s house to play with their baby… I’d deffo want to meet them but overall think it has potential to be a nice set up. And as DD gets older she could babysit more (if she wanted to).

i caveat this with the fact that I live abroad where things seem waaay more relaxed and safe than in the uk do my perspective may be skewed a little.

It's not so unusual for a bored 9yo to pop into a neighbour's house and play with the baby for a bit. I think it is weird to invite explicitly to look after the baby, though, and I think paying her would put too much pressure/responsibility on her.

Just buy an old fashioned wooden play pen so your child is safe whilst you quickly do your housework.

I think it’s a lovely idea- the only worry is obviously you don’t know the child very well .

my daughter used to do similar for a neighbour’s little boy when she was about 10 - she would go over and play with him whilst his mum made tea ect . She was paid with a penguin bar . She felt very grown up having the responsibility of babysitting, but in reality I was next door and baby’s mum was in the same house

I would call Rosie's mum. I am sure she would appreciate introductions since you spend quite a lot of time with her child. Then see where the conversation goes and whether she might be comfortable with Rosie coming over for a play date.
In the worst-case scenario, mum finds it to be a weird request and says no. No skin off your back as you don't know her anyway.

Seems a bit weird when you don’t know the family, but a good idea if you’re gonna be in the room next to them. I wouldn’t offer money though,Anne a small thank you gift.

I think I may recognise you OP. Does Rosie live in an area starting with B?

If so and its the right child, she would be absolutely made up to be asked and her mum would be totally fine with being asked.

I'd probably suggest it as a play date as she seems to like babies, and give her some pocket money /a small gift after the fact rather than an offer of payment upfront.

Of course, if the person who posted just now is Rosie's mum, she may have different thoughts!