Is it bonkers to arrange a 9-year-old babysitter?

[AuntieAunt]

I told myself this is bonkers but after spending 2 hours start and stopping mopping the kitchen floor I’m semi tempted.

There’s a little girl, let’s call her Rosie who’s friends with my neighbours little girl who is slightly younger (Lily*).

Rosie is spending a fair amount of time with my neighbour as they’ve got a childcare arrangement this summer whereby both kids keep switching between houses between holiday clubs. I’ve also had Lily over here over the years when neighbour has needed a hand. So while I don’t know Rosie’s mum she could potentially be reassured by Lily’s mum that I’m not a complete nutter.

This summer I’ve had more than usual invites over to Lily’s house as the girls would like to play with my DD (not yet one). It’s been great, I’ve been able to enjoy a hot coffee whilst the girls play with DD. I can tell that Lily gets bored after a short while and that it’s obviously Rosie’s idea to invite us over.

Rosie is stuck to DD. Even if I’m holding DD, she’ll want to hold her had and engages with conversation about her. She says she loves babies, her younger cousins and even invited us over to her house! (Could you imagine the post about a CF who left a one year old for a ‘play date’). Rosie has offered to babysit for free!

As this thread is already long enough, I know it’s completely bonkers to get in contact with Rosie’s mum and ask if Rosie would like to come over to a strangers house an hour here and there to play with DD. I have a pile of clothes I need iron which is just impossible to do during the day, and by the time DD goes to bed I’m knackered. I’d obviously be supervising, it’s just for Rosie to keep DD entertained while I run around to do chores. I’d be happy to pay a nominal amount as I’d feel I was taking advantage of Rosie’s good nature, but maybe I’m talking myself into this, but maybe do her mum a favour too if she finds herself stuck for childcare herself?

@reinventionn, my 11 year old would ADORE this too! And I’d have no problem with it if the family lived within walking distance of our house, so I could get there easily if needs be.

We’ve PM’d and we’re not secret neighbours! I’m usually paranoid about being busted on here but this would have done me a favour!

I don't think it's weird at all. At 6-10ish I had neighbours who were 0-2 and loved going round for a play. Parents were always there, and often played too or sometimes did the odd bit of housework but always just in the same room or the next room and would always supervise if something tricker came up. (Would let me give a bottle or food of a spoon, but would always actually watch for example.) I enjoyed it and they both enjoyed the company. Occasionally I babysat with my mum. It was good because the kids knew me well. Now (42 and 30-35, I am still good friends with one of the families and the mum is supervising my deceased parents' house while I am trying to clear it while living 200 miles away with my own young family.

This, it's like a play date. Full responsibility is with you for both children, so don't head off out of eyeshot /hearing on chores, keep supervising both (while hopefully getting on with chores).

We used to do this! I remember being in the park cradling a newborn baby on the swing! I was about 11 and have no idea who's the baby was - one of the girls was pushing her around for a neighbour 😱

OP, I remeber feeling this desperate and in theory it's not a bad idea at all - I bet Rosie would be delighted. I'd just frame it as "does Rosie want to come and play with baby for an hour" though - not "babysit"! And give her some sweets or something as a thank you.

When I was a child - definitely 9 and younger - my mum paid me pocket money to put my little sister to bed when she went out. We had a babysitter but they'd stay downstairs with my other siblings. I loved playing with toddlers then.

So what you suggest is entirely feasible but could be a bit awkward to ask a parent you don't know.

For a time, I paid a 12/13 year old to look after my child with a learning disability for 90 mins while I carried on working in another room at home. I never would have left them in the house alone together but the entertainment factor enabled me to finish my work for the day so paying for these services made complete sense. This seems to be along similar lines. If everyone is happy and safe, why not?

@Trenda me and my cousin used to love doing this with our (grown up) cousins baby. I was 13 and my cousin was 11, we'd take her baby off for a walk in the pram, and her tiny dog too on a lead. Grown up cousin would get an hours peace and quiet. A little over 30 years ago!

I used to go over to play with a neighbour’s baby (from when she was about 10m old) when I was 10. Just for an hour or two on an ad hoc basis, with the DM in the same open plan space.

My neighbour was lovely and the baby was so cute and funny; I adored her. We stayed in touch long after they’d moved.

Trust your gut - but I’d let the 9 year old play so long as you’re supervising.

No wait, just over 20 years ago. It was the early noughties.

This exact thing happened to me as a child! My neighbour used to invite me in to ‘babysit’ her toddler, I realise now I have my own it’s because the DD was very active and demanding but I thought it was great at the time as we’d have the run of their (rather naice) house!

Speak to the mum. Get to know her

then see how the land lies

could you maybe ask your neighbour for rosie's mum's number or find her on social media? then message her first introducing yourself and basically just saying that you want to let her know how good rosie is with the baby and compliment her on how sweet/mature she is, etc. Rather than just going straight into 'Hi you don't know me but will your 9 y/o babysit?"

hopefully she'll reply saying thanks and you can establish a bit of a chat. then maybe offer if she ever needs someone to look after rosie you'd be more than happy to as it's actually helpful for you because rosie entertains the baby while you keep an eye on them both.

I would also phrase it as Rosie always being welcome round to 'entertain' or 'play with' the baby rather than 'look after' or 'babysit' her to make it very clear she won't ever be formally supervising her.

Or say something like "If Rosie ever misses her little friend you're always welcome to pop round for a coffee." Basically if you get to know the mum first, even if only via text the suggestion might feel a bit more natural.

I wouldn't offer to 'pay' rosie as such because it's a bit weird and I think might put her mum off as it might make her feel like she's sending her 9 y/o out to work - but if it did work out maybe have a little present ready to give her as a thank you or give a tenner to her mum to treat her or whatever.

My 9 year old loves younger children and is brilliant with them. If we're out with a group she automatically takes on the role of looking after the toddlers.

She would be thrilled to be asked to "babysit" and I'd be more than happy to let her if there was an adult in the building.

ZOMBIE THREAD!