Dh beer intake

[cantwait4orsummer]

I'm really worried about DH beer intake- he drinks about 4 times a week and every time 4/5 cans. Not a pub goer, no issues being sick or getting up early. start drinking after 5/6 pm. He is 40. I feel like he is going to damage his liver. no health problems at the moment. I know you can't control someone's alcohol but this really worries me. I have booked him a health review with private GP : Will this be picked up ? He is going on his own. i'm glad he has atleast agreed to do it. I'm generally a bit anxious person. i hope i'm not making this big thing when it's not. i do drink but mine is very occasional- there are times when i dont even drinks for months and months. i feel like he is functioning alcoholic but he does not know it. we have young children. He has three alcohol free days. how can i not worry about it as the thought of him having liver disease wakes up in the middle of the night ?

I suspect you’re right. May I suggest that you go with him? He is highly likely not to be completely honest about the amount that he drinks. Be aware of how this affects other aspects of your life, such as your sex life and your social life.

That is a high alcohol intake but he will likely lie about the amount he drinks when he sees the clinician.

The blood tests might show some impairment but I would bet not. Livers manage really really well and then suddenly, not.

It's not just his liver that is at risk. Might it be worth sitting him down and talking to him about your concerns?

It won’t necessarily be picked up. People can have normal liver blood tests and think they are fine but an ultrasound may show damage, other people can drink for years without causing much damage at all. I have several alcoholics in my family, sometimes issues haven’t emerged until decades down the line. It may be that it’s not a dr but some sort of therapist is needed to see why he feels the need to numb himself with alcohol.

I don't think this is that bad tbh.

I think you are very right to be concerned.

The number of alcoholic units in cans of beer varies depending on the strength but whatever the strength your DH drinks that is a dangerously high amount to be drinking on a weekly basis.

The problem is with liver disease you don't really know you have it until the problem is serious. But as pp says other aspects of your health are also affected detrimentally by regular heavy drinking.

I agree with pp who said it would be good if you could go to the health review with him. People usually minimise when asked about their alcohol intake. You could make sure the honest amount is given and also make sure there is conversation about the effects of his high alcohol intake.

It's really difficult for you as it needs your DH to realise for himself that this is an issue.

Standard 330ml cans? Of normal strength beer? That’s 2-3 pints 4 times a week. It’s not what I would consider excessive drinking, and is probably within the advised unit restrictions.

Valid concerns, hope that the medical re-assures you and is the start of him paying more attention to his health.

@HoppityBun I will try my best to go with him, as it stands we dont have childcare on that day

@SafariShoes it's the larger cans about 440 something- alcohol intake is about 4.3 %

Are the cans 330ml or 500ml?

It doesn’t sound excessive to me. Not great, but not excessive.

i mean alcohol content is usually just over 4%

It doesn't sound absolutely terrible but at the same time it's slightly worrying. It's the habit aspect of it that's worrying.
My ex was an alcoholic and he started like this - having a few beers a few nights a week. He seemed to need it in a way I couldn't understand. He progressed to having a bottle of wine every night plus a few beers. At this point I made him have a check up with the doctor. The liver tests were all normal but the doctor made it clear he had a problem. He said if he continued to drink a bottle of wine every night plus a few beers, he'd be dead within 5 years.
I'm not saying your husband will progress to drinking more every night. Maybe he won't - but I still think it's not a healthy level of drinking. I personally would be more comfortable with 2 or 3 cans twice a week (but obviously you can't control him to that extent).

The issue is my father in law is an alcoholic- about three bottles of whiskey a week. He is now diagnosed with Fatty liver disease and gout. He is in early 60s and has a binge drinking since his 30s.

5 440ml cans at 4.1% is 9 units per session, or 36 units if he drinks 4 times a week. The recommended maximum units is 14 per week, so he's doing more than double.

Encourage him to download the Try Dry app and track his drinking; it might be an eye opener. Having said that, you can't make him change yourself; it has to come from him.

I'm a bit dubious about the calculations regarding unit intake of some of the pp on this thread. It always seems to be people who want to underplay the possible dangers of drinking regularly to this extent who want to minimise the amount.

I wouldn't say it's excessive, especially for a bloke.

I don't think it's that bad at to be honest. Have one with him, you might relax a bit.

I think OP you would have been better posting your thread on the Alcohol Support topic forum.
You would get more informed and helpful advice on there than in AIBU.

Drinking 4/5 nights a week is dangerous. My friend died from doing that. As pp have said, she was fine until she wasn’t. By the time she realised she was sick it was already quite serious. I’m not anti drinking but 1-2 nights a week is the most you should be drinking.

Doesn't sound to me like he has a dependency if he has beer free days. More, that he enjoys a drink. He drinks at home so he's not being secretive about it. Can't you have a chat with him about it rather than hope the clinician will? Look up the guidelines and suggest - for example - he drop one can per session (depending on strength).

Did he get any say in you booking the appointment for him?
I wonder how i would react if someone did that for me?
I think I'd find it controlling tbh.
Maybe I'm reading the OP wrong and it's something you've both talked about and are both doing as a general health check. If that's the case then fine.

At circa 40 units a week when the recommendation is 14 is very concerning.

My father drank around the same. He was diagnosed with cirrhosis in his early 60s and died from it at 68. His death was horrific. Of his group of five pub buddies, three others also died of cirrhosis – one in their 50s and the others in their 60s. Fatty liver and gout went hand in hand.

It’s absolutely no joke and I’m shocked that people here think it’s no big deal. This is not a moral judgement, it’s simply a statistical likelihood.

I dont think it's horrendous, and I definitely wouldn't say he's a functioning alcoholic. If he could just do the 4 cans 3 times a week instead of 4 then he pretty much sits at the low risk category. Each drink is 1.89 units at 4.3%. So 4 a night 3 times a week would be just under 23 units a week. He's low risk if he's around 21 or less.

I'm amazed he's going to go to the apt to be honest, don't go with him OP. What did he say when you told him you'd booked his apt?