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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is cheeky?

37 replies

herecomesthesunyes · 09/08/2024 08:01

I’m currently on the train in Europe with family. My husband isn’t feeling well, with a cold.

We have 5 reserved seat tickets. 4 around a table and a window seat behind. We have a lot of hand luggage and food as there’s no catering in the train. We have an extra ticket as a family member isn’t now travelling with us.

So three of us are around a table and my husband sits at the window seat behind so he can sleep. Then the guy next to him asks him if he can swap with his wife 10 rows back at an aisle seat so they can sit together. So my husband feeling unwell and generally a nice considerate person moves. And so we’re all scrunched up at our 4 and I have no leg room. I say this so he is grumpy and goes and sits at the women’s seat 10 rows back (aisle). Now all the kids are pissed off at me for being annoyed. But it’s a 6 hour journey! I just think it’s bloody cheeky asking someone to move from their window seat right behind their family just because you’re not next to your wife. Urghhhhj 😡

I’m now taking a breather outside between the carriages because I’m fuming. Also not had my breakfast and have only had 4 hours sleep. Annoyed that I’m annoyed and that my kids think I’m horrible. I did offer to go back and sit in the other aisle seat.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 09/08/2024 08:04

Sounds like you have massively overreacted.

the person who made the reasonable request most likely didn’t know he was travelling with you and if so he will have seen the empty seat with your party and thought it was a reasonable request anyway.

Hoardasurass · 09/08/2024 08:05

No the guy asked and your husband said yes he could have refused but choose not to if you want to be annoyed at someone be annoyed with the person who said yes

Edingril · 09/08/2024 08:08

Hoardasurass · 09/08/2024 08:05

No the guy asked and your husband said yes he could have refused but choose not to if you want to be annoyed at someone be annoyed with the person who said yes

This sums it up

Original poster
herecomesthesunyes · 09/08/2024 08:08

Fair enough!!! I am probably being sleep deprived and hangry. I would just never ask someone to move seats.

OP posts:
Procrastinates · 09/08/2024 08:09

Presumably the family member was going to sit with you at the table so I honestly don't understand why you're pissed that he did that after being asked politely to move and then moaned you had no space...

You have completely overreacted and you sound a bit bonkers to be honest.

Happilyobtuse · 09/08/2024 08:09

YABU bcoz if your family member who you had booked a seat for had travelled your DH would have been sat next to you and whether you had enough leg room or not you would have had to adjust. So you are being silly and unreasonable. Your poor DH seems like a nice considerate man, he could have said no, so he had a choice.

Sirzy · 09/08/2024 08:11

Get some food, apologise to everyone and the move on. Don’t let it ruin your trip.

bagsy a window seat and try to get half an hours sleep if you can.

Original poster
herecomesthesunyes · 09/08/2024 08:11

Procrastinates · 09/08/2024 08:09

Presumably the family member was going to sit with you at the table so I honestly don't understand why you're pissed that he did that after being asked politely to move and then moaned you had no space...

You have completely overreacted and you sound a bit bonkers to be honest.

That is true. I suppose I was looking forward to the extra room. I would just never ask someone to move from a window seat, my holy grail on a train!

not bonkers just hangry I think

OP posts:
Original poster
herecomesthesunyes · 09/08/2024 08:12

Sirzy · 09/08/2024 08:11

Get some food, apologise to everyone and the move on. Don’t let it ruin your trip.

bagsy a window seat and try to get half an hours sleep if you can.

Good idea thanks!

OP posts:
pictoosh · 09/08/2024 08:12

Yep, you're strung out.

Sheelanogig · 09/08/2024 08:13

I kind of understand your frustration (I covet space). You had a good travel set up for the day. But the bloke who asked probably doesn't know you have a 6 hr journey. And DH could have said no.

Deep breaths. Hope calmness returns and you win the Uno/card games.

Cosyblankets · 09/08/2024 08:13

If it wasn't OK he should have said no

Onehotday · 09/08/2024 08:13

We're all guilty of overreacting from time to time. Swap with him for a while and go and have some sleep in the seat 10 rows away.

Qwertylife · 09/08/2024 08:13

I'm sure you'll get over it

Original poster
herecomesthesunyes · 09/08/2024 08:14

pictoosh · 09/08/2024 08:12

Yep, you're strung out.

i think I am. It’s been a crazy few days and I had barely any sleep. And only one cup of coffee. I think I was looking forward to the extra space. I also would never ask someone to move. I just wouldn’t.

OP posts:
KimKardashiansLostEarring · 09/08/2024 08:14

You would have been ‘scrunched up’ around the table if all of your party were travelling anyway, so what’s the problem??

The husband asking is not BU. Don’t ask don’t get. Your DH could have said no.

Original poster
herecomesthesunyes · 09/08/2024 08:14

Onehotday · 09/08/2024 08:13

We're all guilty of overreacting from time to time. Swap with him for a while and go and have some sleep in the seat 10 rows away.

Thanks for being kind x

OP posts:
Original poster
herecomesthesunyes · 09/08/2024 08:16

I think my husband will always put himself out for others. His superpower. It’s fine when I benefit but it can be annoying when it impacts on me negatively. 😳 But it’s nice he’s nice. Nicer than me anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
herecomesthesunyes · 09/08/2024 08:17

Sheelanogig · 09/08/2024 08:13

I kind of understand your frustration (I covet space). You had a good travel set up for the day. But the bloke who asked probably doesn't know you have a 6 hr journey. And DH could have said no.

Deep breaths. Hope calmness returns and you win the Uno/card games.

Thanks 🙏

OP posts:
Allfur · 09/08/2024 08:48

So original guy didn't book seats? Then he is a cf

Original poster
herecomesthesunyes · 09/08/2024 09:01

Allfur · 09/08/2024 08:48

So original guy didn't book seats? Then he is a cf

I’m assuming he didn’t book or wasn’t able to get two seats together.

OP posts:
Original poster
herecomesthesunyes · 09/08/2024 09:02

I’m now annoyed as the guy behind me has taken his shoes off and has smelly feet and is now listening to his phone on speaker! Only 3.5 hours to go..,,

OP posts:
Toooldforthis36 · 09/08/2024 09:06

Total overreaction.

Lurkingandlearning · 09/08/2024 10:31

As he’s unwell, I can see why he might’ve wanted to sit 10 rows back and not at your table where he might have felt he needed to “join in” with conversation etc. He might get better rest there. You too when you swap later.

I’m sure you’ll feel much better once you’ve had some food and rest. Enjoy the rest of your trip 😀

Northernladdette · 14/08/2024 12:37

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