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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not a people person! Any careers? 🙂

93 replies

ExtrovertedIntrovert1 · 08/08/2024 21:22

Argh I can't find a section for this post so will turn it into an AIBU

"Am I being unreasonable to think you have to be a people person to thrive in a career or is there a well paid job where you can work alone in peace?"

Ok just putting this out there incase it yields any inspiration.

I currently have a career that I spent 5-6 years training for. A very specialised masters degree so not really something that can be used for anything other than what I do. It involves the general public, lots of chat, care, constant interaction all day. I have had the same career all my adult life.

I have reached my 40s and come to the conclusion that I am just not a people person. Ive just not had the guts or determination to get out of this career/rut!

I really care about people genuinely and have a good heart. I just find interaction difficult and stressful. I feel I'm just performing every day like an actress playing a part. Maybe I'm neurodiverse (I'll suggest it before someone else does 😂)

I can do it, and am well versed in it but my god it's exhausting and as I get older I'm struggling to keep pace. I long for a job where I can work in peace, doing something on my own. I'm looking at changing careers while I'm still young enough to do so.

Trouble is, have a mortgage and depend on my salary. I would need to earn at least 25k, probably more, to stay afloat. Whether this be whilst training, or in a job that doesn't require years of training as my current one does.

Anyone have a none peopley job? I'd love night shifts. Interests include sciences, healthcare, any sort of analysing, the written word, caring stuff (but from a purely admin way maybe!)

OP posts:

HelterSkelter224 · 09/08/2024 15:17

Learn to code

HelterSkelter224 · 09/08/2024 15:18

BabygirlTom · 08/08/2024 21:42

Data and analytics. We're all lovely quiet introverts 😂

Sounds like heaven

GingerPirate · 09/08/2024 15:18

Undertaker.
I'm not a people's person either.
😁

RubberyChicken · 09/08/2024 15:20

Bramble picker?

MarkWithaC · 09/08/2024 15:21

betterangels · 09/08/2024 07:55

I'm a freelance editor and proofreader. I see no people that I don't choose to see.

Me too. Downside being that freelancing is precarious, and publishing doesn't pay that well.

I dream of being a lab technician or a forensic pathologist, but in reality I'm very much not a science person.

WAITthisIS40 · 09/08/2024 18:14

CatMum27 · 09/08/2024 09:25

Ha, was waiting for someone to suggest this. Definitely don’t get into either of these roles of you don’t like people as they both involve a lot of interaction with others. We definitely don’t sit around reading nice books all day. We’re not well paid either 🤣

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With It being a library though, surely interactions are brief, and quiet?

CatMum27 · 09/08/2024 19:38

WAITthisIS40 · 09/08/2024 18:14

With It being a library though, surely interactions are brief, and quiet?

Show quote history

You would be surprised. It depends on the role obviously but it’s often quite in-depth, long and loud. Public librarians have to deal with everything from helping people navigate form filling online and baby story time through to crowd control of rowdy drunks. Academic librarians are helping students to find the sources they need for their work through in-depth interviews and teaching classes. There is a tiny proportion of work that involves saying ‘the books on trains are over there’ but 99.9% involves dealing with constant communication. Even the jobs that involve shelving books all day have multiple interactions with people and also tend to be very poorly paid.

I’ve worked in libraries for 20 years and have spent the last 15 of that hiring. If you’re not a people person you’re unlikely to get a job or last long if you do.

Original poster

ExtrovertedIntrovert1 · 09/08/2024 21:04

grassyknees · 09/08/2024 10:17

Air traffic controller?

That's intriguing. I don't live anywhere near an airport but it's one of those jobs you don't really think of but sounds amazing.

It seems like the majority of non peopley jobs involve IT or maths skills which sadly is definitely NOT my strong point.

The bat watching job also intrigues me.

Thanks for all the ideas 🙂

OP posts:

Original poster

ExtrovertedIntrovert1 · 09/08/2024 21:13

taxguru · 09/08/2024 10:34

Are you sure you can't move sideways or move into a slightly different role using your existing skillset/qualifications/experience? There are often "back room" type of jobs in most professions which must be a better option that giving up and starting again in a completely different area.

I've been an accountant for 40 years. I've had jobs with lots of interaction with other people, I've had managerial positions where I've had to manage and recruit and train staff. Never enjoyed or felt good at the "people" side of it, so those roles tended not to last long and I moved on pretty quickly, either for different roles within the same firm or moved to different employers. In particular, I was never comfortable in meetings with lots of people, always better on a "one to one" basis.

Throughout the numerous places I've worked at, I saw likeminded people. At one accountancy practice, they had a genius of a tax specialist who people barely saw. He just tended to "hid" in his office. Definitely on the spectrum. You'd just pop a file or note in his pigeon hole (this was before email!), and within a day or two, you'd get an in-depth report back in your pigeon hole with chapter and verse on the problem or some amazing tax planning advice. As far as I know, he never saw clients in person, and barely ever even had meetings with other staff - he was definitely "back room" and it was the other partners and managers who were the "face of the company", meeting the clients etc. Contrast that with another practice I worked in where the tax manager was ultra friendly, constantly meeting clients, always chatting to other staff in the corridors and at the coffee machine, etc - exactly the same job, but being done in a completely different way.

I ended up starting my own practice, but embracing technology (this was 25 years ago before the massive growth of IT and the internet), wrote and published my own websites, integrated online accounting software to the website (very rare back in those days), and built my practice virtually entirely online. I can go weeks (if not months) without meeting any clients, in fact, without even speaking to clients on the phone. It's 99% online either via websites or email. All clients do their "books" online or set up automatic bank feeds straight into accounting software online. No clients bring in boxes or bags of paperwork. Contrast that with another small practice on the same street a few doors away where there's a constant stream of their clients taking/collecting bags and boxes of paperwork. Again, same job, but done differently.

So to the OP, I'd say don't abandon your existing trade/profession/career, but think about alternative but related options, different ways of doing the same thing, but without the intensive "human" interaction element.

Sounds amazing well done for setting up on your own.
My career path wouldn't really allow that. I don't really want to say exactly what I do incase anyone from work uses this... But its medical and see lots of patients every day, lots of chatting, banter, teamwork etc. The only route would be managerial which would mean no patient chit chat, but more arse licking managerial chit chat which sounds equally stressful.

OP posts:

menopausalmare · 09/08/2024 21:16

Postie.

Original poster

ExtrovertedIntrovert1 · 09/08/2024 21:18

menopausalmare · 09/08/2024 21:16

Postie.

What if someone is feeling chatty when I have to knock at the door to give them a parcel!!?

OP posts:

Butchyrestingface · 09/08/2024 21:24

Air traffic controller?

You get to kill all the people you don't like.

I AM JOKING.

Edit: Darn it, I see someone else got there first.

Hankunamatata · 09/08/2024 21:35

What's the rough area of masters? A side step using the skills could be an alternative

WeRateSquirrels · 09/08/2024 21:37

ExtrovertedIntrovert1 · 09/08/2024 21:18

What if someone is feeling chatty when I have to knock at the door to give them a parcel!!?

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I know someone who does summer posting and they tell me almost nobody answers the door.

lolit · 09/08/2024 21:41

ExtrovertedIntrovert1 · 08/08/2024 22:06

That sounds good. I shall look in to that, thankyou.

Show quote history

Look into code first girls data analytics courses, they are all online, free and fit into a 9-5 job

Judellie · 09/08/2024 21:42

Pensions admin

NomenNudum · 09/08/2024 21:48

Lighthouse keeper. I would fucking love that job.

LaughingCat · 09/08/2024 22:10

My other half is a data manager and is not a people person. Mostly wfh, interacts with other colleagues but they’re all introverts too, so mostly minimal contact outside of what you need to get the job done. Check out Women Who Code for free training which can help get you on the right track and check out whether you like it.

Other than that, clinical coding is another one where you are all back of house but would require retraining. Would be good if you like a gnarly puzzle and limited interaction with other people though!

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