Not a people person! Any careers? 🙂

[ExtrovertedIntrovert1]

Argh I can't find a section for this post so will turn it into an AIBU

"Am I being unreasonable to think you have to be a people person to thrive in a career or is there a well paid job where you can work alone in peace?"

Ok just putting this out there incase it yields any inspiration.

I currently have a career that I spent 5-6 years training for. A very specialised masters degree so not really something that can be used for anything other than what I do. It involves the general public, lots of chat, care, constant interaction all day. I have had the same career all my adult life.

I have reached my 40s and come to the conclusion that I am just not a people person. Ive just not had the guts or determination to get out of this career/rut!

I really care about people genuinely and have a good heart. I just find interaction difficult and stressful. I feel I'm just performing every day like an actress playing a part. Maybe I'm neurodiverse (I'll suggest it before someone else does 😂)

I can do it, and am well versed in it but my god it's exhausting and as I get older I'm struggling to keep pace. I long for a job where I can work in peace, doing something on my own. I'm looking at changing careers while I'm still young enough to do so.

Trouble is, have a mortgage and depend on my salary. I would need to earn at least 25k, probably more, to stay afloat. Whether this be whilst training, or in a job that doesn't require years of training as my current one does.

Anyone have a none peopley job? I'd love night shifts. Interests include sciences, healthcare, any sort of analysing, the written word, caring stuff (but from a purely admin way maybe!)

Surely prison officers are constantly dealing with people? I don’t think you get many where you just sit outside, you have to actually interact with the prisoners

Surely prison officers are constantly dealing with people? I don’t think you get many where you just sit outside, you have to actually interact with the prisoners

I still think that many Finance staff aren't people persons.

Sorry. Mistype. Yes finance could suit a lot. Some finance jobs.

It's very systematical and rule driven. Debit 10, credit 10. Getting management accounts done. Emailing a few people. Just getting down to the job, few interruptions. Not that much dealing with other people.

My last 3 jobs I barely went to a meeting in 6 years. My lawyer friends who had endless meeting laughed that I only had 1 teams meeting in 3 years. I used to love it when the external auditor came because I'm actually quite sociable, but fortunately had lots of people popping into my office just for a chat, just being social.

Software developer. It depends a bit on the company and the team you are part of. But I know developers who live in a remote part of the world, only meet colleagues once every other year and make good money.

I bet I could guess your job - sounds exactly like the job I had and gave up...

Anaesthetist?

Mine has ADHD and it's really good for him. He likes driving and there is a shortage of HGV drivers as lots of older ones retired and now less coming in from EU. DHL company will pay for HGV class 2 training after a person has worked for them for 6 months as a Drivers Mate. That's what my DS did. You have to agree to work for them driving class 2 lorry for 18 months after passing your test. After that D's did the class 1 test, now driving a huge lorry.

Ha, was waiting for someone to suggest this. Definitely don’t get into either of these roles of you don’t like people as they both involve a lot of interaction with others. We definitely don’t sit around reading nice books all day. We’re not well paid either 🤣

Game development. Don’t need to deal with the public and pretty much everyone in the industry is introverted/ND

Ooh they are always in my experience really warm and engaging types with incredible powers of reassurance and compassion
They see people at their most vulnerable

I have very strong gratitude to the anaesthetist for my and DS operations last year - I could have hugged the lovely team who looked after DS.

This thread is fascinating .

Air traffic controller?

Look at code first girls - lots of free taster courses then you can apply for a scheme where you get matched with an employer who funds a 12-14 week evening course that ftsaround your current job. Starting salaries are over 25k (some well over). There are roles in software engineering and data analytics.

forestry commission?

Are you sure you can't move sideways or move into a slightly different role using your existing skillset/qualifications/experience? There are often "back room" type of jobs in most professions which must be a better option that giving up and starting again in a completely different area.

I've been an accountant for 40 years. I've had jobs with lots of interaction with other people, I've had managerial positions where I've had to manage and recruit and train staff. Never enjoyed or felt good at the "people" side of it, so those roles tended not to last long and I moved on pretty quickly, either for different roles within the same firm or moved to different employers. In particular, I was never comfortable in meetings with lots of people, always better on a "one to one" basis.

Throughout the numerous places I've worked at, I saw likeminded people. At one accountancy practice, they had a genius of a tax specialist who people barely saw. He just tended to "hid" in his office. Definitely on the spectrum. You'd just pop a file or note in his pigeon hole (this was before email!), and within a day or two, you'd get an in-depth report back in your pigeon hole with chapter and verse on the problem or some amazing tax planning advice. As far as I know, he never saw clients in person, and barely ever even had meetings with other staff - he was definitely "back room" and it was the other partners and managers who were the "face of the company", meeting the clients etc. Contrast that with another practice I worked in where the tax manager was ultra friendly, constantly meeting clients, always chatting to other staff in the corridors and at the coffee machine, etc - exactly the same job, but being done in a completely different way.

I ended up starting my own practice, but embracing technology (this was 25 years ago before the massive growth of IT and the internet), wrote and published my own websites, integrated online accounting software to the website (very rare back in those days), and built my practice virtually entirely online. I can go weeks (if not months) without meeting any clients, in fact, without even speaking to clients on the phone. It's 99% online either via websites or email. All clients do their "books" online or set up automatic bank feeds straight into accounting software online. No clients bring in boxes or bags of paperwork. Contrast that with another small practice on the same street a few doors away where there's a constant stream of their clients taking/collecting bags and boxes of paperwork. Again, same job, but done differently.

So to the OP, I'd say don't abandon your existing trade/profession/career, but think about alternative but related options, different ways of doing the same thing, but without the intensive "human" interaction element.

Funeral director?

I don't think you don't have people skills I just think the general public have got more difficult. High expectations, unrealistic expectations and everyone thinks they are unique and should be treated like a princess. Fine if they are paying Claridges, maybe not so fine utilising a public service.

Data manager for a clinical research organisation (CRO)? Or clinical trial project manager, monitor, or clinical research associate (CRA)? There is some talking involved, but it's usually just to other colleagues and plenty of non-talking time to get on with work. It's science-y healthcare, but in an office/home and no seeing patients :)

https://www.ihrim.co.uk/education-and-cpd/uk-students/nccq
Im not sure about clinical coding salaries but this might be helpful

Also Google nhs jobs site - lots of clinical coding jobs and other nhs admin posts which might be of interest.

Coding - for web development.

Or agree with other posters about something in health related research or working for NICE on guidelines, technical appraisals.

Pharmacist by any chance? Have you looked at hospital careers? I've managed to find a role with minimal patient interaction (like, very minimal. Only 25% of my role patient-facing, and about 10% of that time actually involves speaking to people) and spend most of my time at a desk. It does involve interaction with other staff but not too much.

IT.

I am yet to meet someone in IT with good social skills.

I was going to say HGV driving! There's a few women drivers who post on tiktok about their work, and it's solitary 98% of the time by the looks of it.

Quality control or assurance, particularly auditing processes. Communication is done via email mostly and meetings are generally around once a week. Can be hybrid or remote too.

I chose my career precisely because I needed to have a job where (having recognised my coping skills when it comes to small talk and extended interaction were limited) I could think and concentrate. I'm not anti-social and can be quite the social butterfly in the right situation (most introverts are like me - not shy and retiring; just bored witless by inconsequential small talk).

I work as an ATC, it's not everyone's cup of tea because of the training (three years to get the licence) levels of concentration required, and shift patterns, but it suits me because while I work in a team, the nature of the job means we don't always have time to just chat between ourselves.