Maintenance

[askmenothing]

ExH has DD 6-8 nights a month usually. Is having her more over summer.

He pays less maintenance than he should according to CMS calculator, also claims child benefit and UC for DD. I am a higher rate tax payer so have been ok (not especially happy) with this.

He has asked if he can not pay maintainance this month as he wants to take DD away for a night at a castle. They got back from a week abroad a couple of weeks ago.

He believes that as I earn more than him, he should be able to keep the maintenance and spend it on a night away.

AIBU to say no? That's not the deal with maintenance and I had already budgeted to spend it replacing uniform. I have said this and am being called selfish and unreasonable and other random names. Am doubting myself.

Also on child benefit, once you get it back with you (as you should):

Even once you're over 60k, then you wont actually need to pay any CB back until your 'post pension contribution salary' is over 60k. So if you earn 65k gross but give up 5k of that direct to a workplace pension and then the relevant amount for paying back CB would only be 60k (and so you would still keep ALL The CB). This lower amount should be on your p60.

Similarly, even if your post workplace pension salary IS over 60k, then its very tax efficient to then pay some money into a SIPP:

For example, if you earned 65k you'd be asked to pay back 25% of the child benefit (that's how it works, you still get all of it upfront but then do a tax return stating how much you CB you got and how much you earned as per your p60).

I think 25% of CB for one child for one year would mean paying around £325 back. To avoid this, all you'd need to do would be to pay around £1200 into a SIPP (100 a month). The SIPP provider would top this up to 1500 (300 extra) which gives some extra pension for you down the line. AND you'd be eligible to claim back ANOTHER 20% of that grand total of 1500 (ie 300) via tax return cos you're a higher rate tax payer. That 300 you'd be owed by HMRC would then offset the similar amount you'd owe them for paying back CB in your tax return.

Sounds complicated (especially if youve never done an annual self assessment before as i hadnt), but the stuff you need to put into your annual tax return for all this isn't that difficult or long winded in the end.

In that case you should be receiving the CB. And strictly speaking the child maintenance calculations are based on the assumption that you'd be the parent getting the CB (certainly not that you aren't and he is). So think of the child benefit as an extra £50 a week your way - £25 less to him, £25 more to you.

OP it sounds to me you are trying to keep everything amicable and civil for your daughter. That is admirable and should be the case where possible. The child benefit cap has been raised to £60k, but it may be best to speak to him first rather than go down the legal route.

Go through CMS. He should pay at least that amount for his DD. If DD does not live with him why can he claim UC for her and why don't you claim the child benefit as she's with you most of the time?

This. Also if DWP ever found out DD didn't live with him he'd be in trouble and he might say you knew to drag you into it. You are enabling him to commit fraud by not reporting him. You could claim the CB and use it for your DD school uniform.