Do you know where X is?

[Screwballs]

Constantly. The stepkids, the kid I'm engaged to, it's constant. Do we not all live here? Is it not right under your nose as per? Have you actually even bothered prior to making it my problem?

Sick of it today, it's midday and everyone has asked me where something is at least once. OH wanted to know where the fabric softener was. Same place it always is, there are just some ironing bits of top of it which obviously means it must no longer exist in that place. Didn't dignify with an answer. Testament to it being the first wash he's put on in weeks.

Youngest SS "where is the butter", "in the fridge" "what the blue tub" "nope that's mine (Flora lightest), yours is the grey tub (Lurpak)" "oh OK, this one?" "is that grey" "no" "so..." "there isn't a grey one" "there is a grey one" "nope, there is only cheese Spread".

Loses patience, gets up with freshly fed reflux baby, instantly finds grey tub "oh I thought that was cheese Spread". Baby proceeds to vomit all over us both because he's been moved.

Eldest SS, asked to changed cat litter, dutiful comes to do it to be fair. "wheres the bags" "under the counter next to the tray" "I can't see them" "LOOOOOK" "... OK"

Minutes later "Brother, can you look in your drawers for my jeans" "they aren't in his drawers, they are in your wardrobe" "they aren't, I just looked" "they are there" "they AREN'T". Gets up, instantly finds fucking jeans. "oh, well I didn't look that side"

AGGGGHHH this weaponissd incompetence is driving me wild. Why do men do this?! How is it learnt so bloody young?!

I know I'm just going to be told to stop, but it's not even like I jump to help, I really don't, it doesn't seem to put them off asking!

But why?! Why am I meant to have the answers?!

I like this one!

Standard reply in my household

I'm just too good at knowing where things are that's my big problem. DH asks me before he even bothers his ass to look. And when I say "why don't you have a look yourself rather than interrupting me while I'm busy skiving and playing a game on my phone?!", he says no point as you will know where X is anyway so I dont need to. Even if it's his own stuff. Infuriating. And my own fault.

I say 'what five places have you looked?'

DH has now progressed to asking me what other drivers are about to do. As in ' is he giving way to me" or " is she turning right" or "why has he stopped here" I don't fecking know I'm not a mind reader! Drives me nuts.

We refer to this as my magic eyes in our house. Both DS and DD do it, more so DD because she's lazier and doesn't look after her things. Think I will start ignoring as per a previous poster's suggestion!

Yes! Or sometimes I get "which way now?" When it's somewhere he drives to literally all the time. It's like a temporarily lobotomy has taken place every time he gets in the car. Or its a tic that he can't stop.

"OH wanted to know where the fabric softener was. Same place it always is, there are just some ironing bits of top of it"

I think you ABU here, OP. It's a well-known fact that the male of the species cannot look under things.

I don't know
I don't know
I don't know

If I'm having a bad day they get a sarcastic "why don't you use the magic portals on the front of your face through which you can send messages to your brain"

Or

"Use your eyes / brain not mine"

Hunter/gatherer.

Hunter/gatherer.😂

'I can't find the antelopes...'
Hunters have to be very good at looking for tracks whicn I'm pretty sure are more subtle than car keys or the tv remote.

Yes, but they wouldn’t admit to not being able to see the tracks and so go wandering around aimlessly until the antelope, which was there all along, comes into view. The gatherers meanwhile are sat at home wondering if going veggie is the best option.

In our house it was always a "boy look" - strangely it never really affected DD 🙄

My DD was just as hopeless at looking for things as my DS was. They've (mostly) improved now they're in their 20s and they know I will mercilessly take the mickey out of them for not looking properly.

My standard response is "have you checked the garage" reason being DH just lobs stuff in there, and expects to be able to find it easily when he needs it. Ha! I never go in there, it is a mess.
I do know where everything is in the house though.

My DH doesn't do this at all but the kids are buggers for it.

This. Or repeat their question back to them parrot fashion with a slightly different inflection. So when husband asks why is his bag? Where IS your bag?! Annoying lm sure but he now doesn’t very often ask where things are

I do think mum vision is a real thing. However this lot sound excessively useless!

I started a "found it" jar. Every time I located a thing that was in exactly the spot they were looking for it, they had to pay the finders fee. At least then I benefit from their selective blindness.

This morning I've had from DH:

1. Do you know where the flexi-lid thing for Ddog's food is? It was in front of him on the counter, but under a teatowel. I replied it's on the counter and was told it wasn't, so I had to step in front of him and remove the teatowel with a flourish to astoundingly reveal the expertly concealed thing he was looking for underneath

2. Where have you put the metal jug for the coffee machine? IT IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU, IN FRONT OF THE COFFEE MACHINE WHERE IT ALWAYS IS! LOOK, HERE!!! Oh yeah, so it is....