To think that a 16 year old should be out with friends

[Woollypullover]

My DS is 16 years old and has spent a lot of time since finishing GCSEs at home, in his room or hanging out with us and younger DS. He's been invited to maybe one party, met with friends once or twice and had a friend to stay for a couple of days, but otherwise he's just with us.

Is this normal? I'm sure 16 year olds are out with their friends more than this

Why?
I was always happier on my own, fortunately
my parents were emotionally distant abusive bastards and I was left to my resources to plan what to do with life. Just to add, never struggled materially while living with them and have done well for myself.
I attribute that to being left alone.

YABU! There's no "should be" here if it's opposite what he's comfortable with. You should know your child's personality, interests temperament, etc by now and support him being himself. If he's happy indoors, that's what he "should be" doing. If he prefers hanging out, that's what he 'should be' doing.

Forcing/Expecting him to go out when he'd rather stay home is the same as forcing/expecting him to stay home when he'd rather be out.

I didn't really find my people until 6th form. Up until then I remember spending a lot of my time during summer holidays sat at home, or out on my bike or bumbling around town by myself. It used to bother my parents too, so I'd lie and say I was off to town with friends.

I wasn't particularly lonely. I had "friends" in school, but nobody I was particularly bothered with seeing during the holidays. I found it relaxing to be honest, I'm quite an introvert and it was nice not having to socialise every day like in school, not have to worry about whether I was weird, whether people were making fun of me.

Sixth form rolled around and I found a group who were just as geeky as me, and we started going out to the pub etc.

DD, 16, is much the same as me. She has a group of friends that she seems to be in constant communication with on Whatsapp, but they don't seem to have much interest in actually going out together, as they all have very different interests. I'm hoping she'll find her tribe when she heads off to sixth form this year as well.

Leave him be. I was never allowed to lounge around. I always had chores or siblings to look after or grandparents when I wasn't at school. I have worked since I was 15. Laying about is something I wish I had been able to do as a teen. Instead I have been non stop since I can remember. And now as an adult it's even more relentless.

Let him do as he pleases. Sounds like he has a nice balance and enjoys being with you guys!

When I was that age I was rarely home, but it was the early naughties. Don't they all just hang out virtually now? God, i'm pleased I was born when I was.

I agree with pps saying as long as he is happy. I barely see teenagers leave the house where I live. You wouldn't know some of them even live there!

I just think there are many more things for kids to do at home these days.

I was probably classed as social at 16 by my parents as I was hardly home. I wasn't meeting friends all the time mind but mostly just taking the dog out on epic walking adventures. I'd go out as they went to work and returned home when they did. Smart phones weren't the same as nowadays and not video streaming apps and the like to do.

Thanks for your reassurance everyone. Perhaps all teens aren't actually out with friends as much as I think!

He has a job in a shop, so that gets him out and about, which is good.