dinner buying drama

[a222]

i stay at my boyfriend and his mums house, i texted my partner to say id bought extra so he could take some to work, and i said in what i thought was a small jab and no big deal ‘make sure your mums boyfriend doesn’t take it to work tomorrow’ as i wanted him to be able to have it for his own lunch. he’s acting like i was going to actually police the leftovers…😂

he has then said im being funny about sharing food and not to offer to buy food for the house anymore!

aibu to think it’s an over reaction?

Good point @itsmylife7 didn't even think of that

Given your update I think the issue is that you're sorting your boyfriend's lunch- assuming you're adults he's a grown man.

Where is the spirit of hospitality today!

I wouldn’t expect a guest to pay for bills and clean the house. You are a guest of the son. If Mum has an issue it is between them.

It is kind of you to cook and I’d think it was sweet you were thinking to take care of my adult son.

This. Sounds about 12.

Exactly this.

OMG you're dating a mummy's boy!

He gets moody when he has to stay away from his mummy and sides with his mum's boyfriend over a joke about food when you were trying to be nice?!?!

RUN AWAAAAAAY!!

It is kind of you to cook and I’d think it was sweet you were thinking to take care of my adult son.

I would think it pathetic UNLESS my adult son would also be cooking/preparing lunch for his girlfriend. I would be wondering where I went wrong if that were not the case.

Disclaimer: I grew up the only girl in a household of useless boys. Why is it that girls are almost never incompetent but boys routinely are - and it's widely acceptable?

'my boyfriend is constantly complaining that he has no lunch for work.

so he is 17 and living at home with mummy and mummy's partner, and you are 20.

as he is not yet an adult he needs an adult to sort his lunch for him - as he is unable to walk into a supermarket i.e. tesco or the co-op and buy a meal deal
and it seems mummy doesn't leave him ' leftovers ' for lunch
or maybe boyfriend is unable to figure out how the microwave at work is used ?

and he is unable to make a cheese or whatever sandwich at home to take with him for lunch at work...

Stop treating him like a child and let him sort out his own lunch. His a grown man and you’re enabling him to be lazy.

why are you staying over at your boyfriends house who still lives at home with mummy like you’re a pair of teenagers with no other choice when you have your own place it make zero sense.

the issue you need to get to the bottom of is why he doesn’t like to come to yours. Is he that insecure of a man that he doesn’t like the fact that you are more independent and secure than him?

Sounds like you'd be better off dumping him op, you tried to do a nice thing for him because you paid attention to his griping and he managed to turn it round on you!

He can make his own fucking lunch.

Honestly I think he’s just a kid, whinging no food in for his lunch, neither have much money. He doesn’t wish to police the food in the house as he eats more than he contributes , likely so does the op. Hence why this is an issue for the lad.

This all the way🤣

he may well eat more than he contributes, hence why i was trying to do a nice thing and buy extra food for him.

i buy my own food when i am here, so i don’t think that’s fair to say.

Why are you with him if he is so moody?

Bit of a pointless relationship, no? If I were you, I'd stay at your own house and not bother with him at all.

Op, just be honest about your situation, you’re two young folks who live with their parents, there is no shame in it, plenty do. His mum doesn’t like the fact you staying there so much and she doesn’t wish you to contribute as that makes it feel like she’s happy with it. He eats more than he contributes hence why if you’ve gifted him food he doesn’t feel like he can say don’t eat it it’s mine, when he’s eating theirs.

Because pound to a penny she doesn’t have her own house. She lives with her parents.

DO NOT DATE A MOODY FUCKER!

It won’t ever get any better and in a few years time you’ll regret those wasted years. Get out now, whilst you’ve no ties to him.

yes i live with my mum. i am saving for a deposit, i work but i just cannot afford to rent somewhere and actually live with the job im in currently (min wage).

i suppose i am upset as my bf job means he can work in various places in our county and when it is better for him to stay at mine for work my mum has let him for 6 weeks at a time for instance.

i feel like his mum really doesn’t like me, but im not sure why. like comments have said maybe i am just round too much recently. going home tomorrow morning.

I'm not sure why you're doing all the legwork here - having to go over and see him all the time AND contributing to bills/ cleaning someone else's house because he's more comfortable there?

Fuck that.

The normal set up would be that you both pay rent to your own parents and spend roughly the same amount of time at each other's houses.

I’m sure she does like you, it is more you’re spending so much time in her house. When you have your own 0lace you will understand it. You could be her favourite person ever , her best friend and she’d still not wish you staying in her home so much. That’s normal. You’re not entitled to be there.

quite frankly she wants you to fuck off so she can have her home to her and her family.

I also assume your boyfriend doesnf like staying with you due to it being in your mums home. He feels uncomfortable and knows how his mum feels about you being there.

it’s difficult . But you’re still not getting it, as you’re giving it I will go home tomorrow, rather than just going home today.

Stop staying at his mums. Very few people want their kids partners moving in for a fair proportion of the week. When I felt I was in a serious relationship I moved in with my boyfriend. It was a long time ago, but I wonder when the idea of living in the family home as a couple happened? Did it happen in the 80s?

Also how often are you really staying, it’s Tuesday, you’re going home wed. Were you there the weekend, have you been there 5 days or so?

All sounds quite juvinile

it’s not ideal i’m aware.

maybe it happened when the price of renting and just generally living went sky high.