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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do lots of people have these sorts of savings? Or am I bloody right?!

383 replies

moneuapme · 06/08/2024 10:59

I feel like utter shit after a meal with friends at the weekend. We all have decent jobs but I am still a long way down the ladder after re training. We don’t usually talk about money but will go to nice places for a dinner etc which I can afford easily too. But it turns out that 4 out of the other five of them are saving between 1k to 1,500 a month and already have over 50k savings?! The other woman there said she has no savings and I just said I had some but not that much. The truth is I have 2k to my name and save around 150 a month usually. I earn 53k. I feel really stressed and worried about the future now as I have nowhere near the security they are talking about. I have tried to keep telling myself this week that that’s surely unusual but is it? Have I just massively fucked up somewhere? Last week I felt really content and lucky and now I just feel like a failure.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 06/08/2024 12:29

Well they earn more than you or spend less surely?

Our joint income is around 35k and we save between 0 and 800 pm depending
on variables - but our mortgage is paid off.

Of course you can't save as much as others who earn more and/or spend less!

You should examine your outgoings and see if there are savings to be made that way rather than compare yourself to people whose income and expenditure you are not privy to.

Campcritters · 06/08/2024 12:30

@User7171

Salary £96k gross but I net £6.1k per month as I have a very high tax code due to my pension contributions.

How does that work?

taxguru · 06/08/2024 12:31

@Outliers

But I come from humble beginnings so learnt to live way below means. So have had a strong saving habit since I entered workforce - trait taking on from one parent who was exceptionally tight, and another who was a tad frivolous.

I'm very similar, but both parents were, let's say, tight, but mostly due to having low wage jobs. We always had a battered old car that would be forever breaking down, etc. So there was an under-current of cost cutting right from my first memories, but we always had what we wanted - it was just the frivolous non essentials that we never had. They were careful with spending so ensured no waste etc.

Funnily, whilst I embraced that trait when I started earning money, my brother went the other way and spent way more than he earned by running up overdrafts, maxing out credit and store cards, etc., and was forever buying expensive gimmicks. If he got a new store card that had a credit limit of £100, he'd just go back and spend it, even if he didn't need the stuff he bought. The interest was eye watering on his pile of monthly statements, and he's been like that throughout his adult life. Even now, he's just retired, and has already spent his tax free lump sum on what I consider to be stupid things. He's still massively in debt and heaven knows how he'll keep paying off the minimum balances on all his store and credit cards now he's only got a pension coming in. He has no savings at all. He inherited a fair chunk when our mother died and his wife inherited when her father died, but all the money's gone and there's nothing to show for it.

I went the other way. Never been in overdraft, never failed to pay the monthly credit/stores card balance in full, so literally, in 40 years I've never paid any late payment fees or interest (other than interest on the mortgage). I started saving right from my first wage, even though it was only a small amount due to a very low starting wage. We never "waste" any money - every purchase is thought through and we never have buyer's remorse because we spend so long researching and thinking about things before buying anything. Luckily, OH is on the same page and has been ever since we met - so we work well together. He had savings when we met at 22, just as I did, even though he was also on low wages. We've had a good time, and certainly havn't lived an austere life, we've enjoyed all kinds of sports, (some expensive), lots of foreign holidays (Canada, Egypt, Kenya etc so not cheap Med sun holidays), some new cars (bought outright), etc., but for all those, we've researched pricing and got deals, offers, etc., to keep the costs down. Same with food and utilities, we're well on top of contract periods, discounts/offers, etc. It just becomes a way of life not to waste money when you can have the same but cheaper! Just because we now have healthy savings doesn't mean I don't rotate supermarkets to buy stuff when each has the offers, it doesn't mean I keep my eyes open to compare petrol prices and go to the fuel station with the cheapest when I'm passing.

Thankfully our son has taken our way of living on board. He's in his first year of proper work after graduating and even on a fairly low graduates wage, he's managing to save a little despite ruinously high rent, utilities, transport costs, etc. He's just bought a new Playstation after, literally, dithering about for months as to whether he needed one, whether an Xbox would be better, pricing up all the subscriptions and games he'd have to buy and comparing each platform etc, comparing all the retailers/suppliers to get the best deal (including add ons etc). That's my boy! No buyer's remorse there - he's delighted with the decision he's made and getting a lot of value for money out of it. One of his considerations was actually how easy it would be to return if he didn't like it! Well done boy! Chip off the old block!

Campcritters · 06/08/2024 12:32

Missed the additional pension contributions

VividQuoter · 06/08/2024 12:33

User7171 · 06/08/2024 12:27

My own position: single, no kids, 53, no mortgage, no loans, no credit card debts, etc. Essentially I owe not a single penny to anyone and don't have expensive tastes.

Salary £96k gross but I net £6.1k per month as I have a very high tax code due to my pension contributions.

Of the 6k net, I pay £2.5k per month into my private pension and £1.7k per month into my ISA (making the full £20k ISA per year).

Bills, food, clothes, car insurance & tax, socialising, etc., only comes to £1.1k per month, so I also save the other £800 or so left but will spend that on holidays, car & home maintenance, etc.

However... I have a colleague on pretty much exactly the same salary but who will net more like £5.4k as they don't pay extra into their pension. They're married but are the only earner in the house and they have 2 DC, a mortgage, etc. etc.

I would be surprised if they're able to save very much at all from the same gross salary.

There is no point comparing yourself to anyone else, OP, as everyone is living a different life.

exactly. we live on , on what we have, spend ( should be wisely ) on what we need and some on what we want and save the rest.

Everyone's life and figures are different. If you have roof, food and commute money , you can always have a lovely life , no matter the exact number. I crossed Europe numerous times with nothing, it is doable

BIossomtoes · 06/08/2024 12:34

TaylorSwish · 06/08/2024 12:27

A big factor in this is what makes you happy. My in laws have huge savings, they never spend anything, they have poor health and tight fugal. My mum who is 5 years old than them said she’s not saving at all, she wants to be out with her friends for brunch and weekends away while she is fortunate enough to be able to do it.

We never saved because we took the same view of life as your mum. My brother died at 21, that made me very aware that life hangs by thread and I’ve always lived in the moment. My dad’s mantra was “do it while you can” and we live by that, money’s for spending. We do things that enhance our lives in a way a big savings account never could.

bertieb7 · 06/08/2024 12:37

Don't compare yourself to anyone on here or your friends, it isn't worth it and won't change a thing.

What you should do is keep a close eye on your outgoings and save exactly what you can afford. It will be different for everyone depending on life stage and circumstances. You are on an above average salary so are doing very well. Having savings does give you security and there is time to get more, but you definitely aren't behind in life based on where you are (hopefully your pension separate).

User7171 · 06/08/2024 12:37

Campcritters · 06/08/2024 12:30

@User7171

Salary £96k gross but I net £6.1k per month as I have a very high tax code due to my pension contributions.

How does that work?

If you pay extra contributions into your pension from your NET salary you get a rebate on the tax you've paid on that amount.

Being a 40% taxpayer means there is more tax to come back than just the 20% which the pension co' automatically claims for you.

So, if I pay £2.5k in the pension co' claim £625 (25% of £2.5k) back from the govt and add that to my pension, and then I also get another £625 back in a tax rebate to make up the 40% tax I've paid on the contribution.

(£2.5k net is £4.17k gross)

MillyMollyMandHey · 06/08/2024 12:38

pinkyredrose · 06/08/2024 12:09

What are you saving for?

Life! Not holidays etc, that’s separate. Money in case DH loses his job, money for DC to go to uni if they want, retirement.

LlynTegid · 06/08/2024 12:38

BMW6 · 06/08/2024 12:29

Well they earn more than you or spend less surely?

Our joint income is around 35k and we save between 0 and 800 pm depending
on variables - but our mortgage is paid off.

Of course you can't save as much as others who earn more and/or spend less!

You should examine your outgoings and see if there are savings to be made that way rather than compare yourself to people whose income and expenditure you are not privy to.

I agree.

The level of savings you have would be significantly eaten up with a couple of unforeseen expenditures such as a new cooker or other appliance, new boiler, for example.

The conversation you had is not one I would have with friends, perhaps that says something about how private I am about money matters.

Campcritters · 06/08/2024 12:38

@User7171 I misread

muddyford · 06/08/2024 12:39

Hoardasauruskaren · 06/08/2024 12:13

We have a fair bit in savings as our outgoings are fairly low. My DH unfortunately is disabled and in poor health so although there are costs related to this we rarely spend money on anything except essentials. No holidays, days out etc so we don’t spend much beyond rent, food utility bills etc . Hardly anyone I know has much in savings but they have holidays , a social life etc! I would love to have more of a life and sacrifice some of our savings to live a little bit it’s not possible.

Same here. I get away once every three months to visit my family. No mortgage, thank goodness. No holidays, no days out, we don't have takeaways as there isn't one locally. DH gets attendance allowance and I have just applied for carers allowance. So money stacking up up the moment as that will be my pension , because no opportunity to make private provision, but I have kept up my state pension contributions.

Whale80ne · 06/08/2024 12:39

midgetastic · 06/08/2024 12:28

Average savings uk is over 11k

Average savings by age can also be found online

Averages across the whole county will be more reliable than a small sample of mnetters

This.

It depends on loads of things in addition to income. Having significant savings is more important and more possible if you're in the final quarter of your working life and don't own your home, and any children you have are perhaps adult or at secondary school and not currently costing as much as full time nursery, than if you're 20-30 and have just bought your home woth a hefty mortgage and are paying nursery fees.

It depends whether you're a two income household too.

goingdownfighting · 06/08/2024 12:41

www.money.co.uk/savings-accounts/savings-statistics

This article is quite interesting.

I think it depends on your stage of life. We are in our highest expenditure era - school fees, holidays, teenagers, house updates, study, cars, food and all the trappings - we spend everything we earn. However we do have savings and investments to fall back on to enable us to do this as well as no mortgage. I do save but it often goes straight out again.

If you are in a position to save, make sure you do.

Namechange944 · 06/08/2024 12:41

As others have said, it depends on your situation. We are early 40s with two primary-aged DC and have a household income of around £75k (but in the SE!).

We have a direct debit to our ISA of £1k a month and then some months are able save a few hundred extra. But we are prioritising this so that at the end of our mortgage term in eight years (we are lucky actually because I paid attention to the financially-savvy people on Mumsnet! that we got a 10-year fix at just under 2.8% just before the rates skyrocketed), we can pay it off and still have a good buffer of savings. Then be mortgage-free for when the DC are mid-teens and be able to save even more for uni/house deposits/future plans.

Should also say that our house isn't amazing, it's okay and fine for our needs. But we are prioritising being mortgage-free and having more expendable income than stretching ourselves with a nicer house.

WobblyBoots · 06/08/2024 12:42

MillyMollyMandHey · 06/08/2024 12:38

Life! Not holidays etc, that’s separate. Money in case DH loses his job, money for DC to go to uni if they want, retirement.

I was going to ask this question! What are savings in the OPs context? Is it just your rainy day/emergency fund or saving for specific stuff.

Currently we have three small kid and childcare costs mean no money is going into the 'emergency fund' but we are paying extra into pensions, saving a bit for holidays and smaller unexpected costs (new car tyres rather than a new car), and saving for our kids future. But other than that our personal/joint savings aren't getting anything.

dutysuite · 06/08/2024 12:43

We used to be big savers but them Covid hit and we had to use it to live, now
we can’t afford to save anything a month. Apart from saving a small amount for a buffer I’d rather just spend it and live rather than saving huge amounts again.

Charlie2121 · 06/08/2024 12:46

I earn 200k and save 5k per month in a pension plus 20k pa to fill my ISA.

In addition to this I also put aside around a further 2k per month into an investment fund to cover school fees.

Total savings are around 8.5k per month. This leaves me with about 3.5k cash to spend each month on other stuff. I have no mortgage plus DH works so that money doesn’t have to cover much in the way of essentials.

On the flip side I had many years when I was not able to afford to save anything at all. I also live in a fairly modest house considering my income so managed to clear my mortgage relatively quickly before having my DS which helped enormously.

I agree comparisons are pointless as everyone’s circumstances differ. Compare yourself to my circumstances now and you may feel a long way behind however compare yourself to me 20 years ago and if you’ve got a spare tenner in your pocket you’re well ahead of where I was at that time.

Namechange944 · 06/08/2024 12:47

WobblyBoots · 06/08/2024 12:42

I was going to ask this question! What are savings in the OPs context? Is it just your rainy day/emergency fund or saving for specific stuff.

Currently we have three small kid and childcare costs mean no money is going into the 'emergency fund' but we are paying extra into pensions, saving a bit for holidays and smaller unexpected costs (new car tyres rather than a new car), and saving for our kids future. But other than that our personal/joint savings aren't getting anything.

(As well as it being useful in case anything happened to one of our jobs), we are saving to pay off our mortgage and for the DC's future (uni, help with house deposit, etc).

Ginmonkeyagain · 06/08/2024 12:47

It depends what you want to save for. Just building up piles of money in cash savings with no purpose seems a bit odd to me. But I admit I do have a tendancy to squirrel away pots of money all over the place.

I save about £1k a month in cash BUT it all has different purposes, some of it is to smooth spending..

  • £500 pm in to a cash ISA - this is my emergency fund (redundancy/boiler explodes etc.. etc.)
  • £100 a month (plus half of any yearly work bonus I get) in to a stocks and shares ISA - this is a long term thing, hopefully a little nest egg for something fun when I retire.
  • £200 a month in to a basic savings account to pay my 6 monthly service charge bill.
  • £100 a month in to a high interest account for a holidays/big ticket clothes or shoe purchases like a hand bag or winter coat
  • £100 a month in to a Monzo account for fun stuff like the fancy meals out or excursions on holiday.

I also over pay the mortgage by £150 per month and make 10% additional voluntary pension contributions.

Strongamericanonosugar · 06/08/2024 12:48

Are they including their pension contributions in that?
I probably save around that amount, however a good chunk of that is always used in the short to medium term, eg saving for holidays, Christmas/birthdays, car etc. A couple of hundred is what I am realistically ‘putting away’ when you take that stuff out.
This is also quite recent, eg we now have minimal childcare bill, student loans paid off, etc and still some (low cost) debt.

Freespeechisvital · 06/08/2024 12:48

jolota · 06/08/2024 11:29

I have always kept savings, even when single of £5-10k, now that I'm married with a child we keep our savings at £50k+
We went without a lot for a long time to build that up initially and now are not currently in a phase of life where we can continue to add £1k + to savings each month but we also don't dip into these savings, so are living within our means technically still

This is it for me.
Save and get a nice cushion first THEN relax and enjoy life a bit knowing you are stable.
£100 a month each x 10 = 24K plus compound interest

There is nothing I would want more than financial security so its a no brainer for me.
Fair enough if you are just making ends meet but so many people just spend money on crap

Lamaitresse · 06/08/2024 12:49

I don’t earn a huge amount, but try to be super careful with money. I save £300 per month, and then let my current account build up slowly. I then will transfer some extra into my savings.
I’m nearly 50 and have savings of around £70k, plus state pension and small private pension. We have to pay to put both dc’s through uni over the next ten years, and I worry that I haven’t saved enough.
I guess it depends on who your friends are as to whether you think you are saving a ‘normal’ amount. We have a mix of friends - ranging from one family selling their house as they can’t afford the mortgage, to others with a chateau in France so it’s tricky to gauge what’s normal and what’s not.
All we can do is be as prudent as we can, without feeling like we’re missing out on life.
We saved to go to SE Asia this summer, and we’re off to France tomorrow. I would rather be more careful with not spending on unnecessary things eg takeaway coffees/lunch out, let the pennies build up, then spend on experiences.

MooonDreamz · 06/08/2024 12:50

I'm sure it varies a lot

we save about £1000 between us but we're paying not far off that in nursery fees

once DC both in school September this year we will save more or pay more off the mortgage or a combination of both

blameless · 06/08/2024 12:51

A major determinant of your final salary is your first salary - it shouldn't be the case, but sadly it is.
After that, any inheritance (whether you expect or not) and when you inherit. Aunty Mabel leaving you money when you're TTC makes a big difference, if it happens after you've retired not so much.
Gaps in employment, SAHP, caring for a child, sibling or parent may be valuable spiritually, but are expensive financially.
Children, how you maintain fairness if you have more than one, whether you feel that experiences are educational or you spend literally on their school, sports or uni.
Roll all of this together and two apparently similar people will experience the world very differently. I recognised long ago that my closest friends had two or three generations head start on me in terms of family money, while I wouldn't trade places with them, it helps me to maintain my perspective when I experience challenges that friends and acquaintances have no concept of.