For ignoring him ?

[YourLovingTraybake]

I met a guy from a dating app and we have been on 4 dates so far.
In the beginning on talking stage he would text and sometimes also call but now he only texts and I don't know how to feel about this.
We slept together on 4th date and he texted me soon after to say he had an amazing time with me.
I am new to dating and I don't know what is appropriate at this stage.
He texts everyday and is usually the one texting first ,I only text first where I see it appropriate.
The texts are only to check in with me and don't lead to any meaningful convos.
Before we slept together I told him I am looking for something serious and that communication by text might not be enough for me as you can't say much by text especially now that we are in late 30s early 40s for him.
He seemed to agree but it's been 4 days since last date and no phone call so I am now ignoring his last text in hopes he will get the message.
Am I overreacting here?

Have you called him?

If you want to speak to him, why don't you phone him? Why do you want him to be the one to call? Ignoring his text hoping he'll "get the message" does not sound like grown up communication. He's more likely to think you've lost interest.

@Hankunamatata
Yes but a month ago and we spoke a bit then he tired to call me once I didn't pick up ,when I called back he didn't pick up.
I haven't call now after 4th date (that's where I told him I prefer to talk on phone once in a while )

If you prefer a phone call that is what you need to do - phone him. You’re playing silly games.

Stop playing games. If you want to talk to him then call him?!

You've had 4 dates and had sex. If you were interested in him, you wouldn't be playing silly games ignoring messages, it's all very teenage and not how real relationships work. Save both of you some time, just send him a polite note that you aren't feeling the spark and move on.

This is why i hate phone calls, it’s always the wrong time for one party unless agreed in advance. If you want to speak then suggest that, if you want to see him then veer the text chat towards that. You have agency in your own relationships and you do also have to show him that you’re keen, not just hang around waiting for him to ask. If he’s texting every day then he likes you’re otherwise he wouldn’t bother. But maybe he’s happier with text, so if you’re not then it’s on you to call him when he’s free to talk.

Christ on a bike, you're a woman in the prime of her life not some shy 17yr old with her first boyfriend. You want to talk on the phone, it’s up to you to text a day/time for a phone conversation. He took the initiative and tried, even though the ball was in your court. You’re actively ghosting him thinking he will get some hint you want to chat! No one interprets you not picking up the phone and ignoring texts as anything other than you are ghosting him.

Or send him a message - hey I'd like to ring at x are u free, I miss your voice, winky emoji

So stop playing games and call him. Why is it all one sided for him to have to call you and text first. Surely you're old enough not to play games.

I hope he's decided he doesn't want to see you again.

It's only 4 days since your date and he texts every day! If it was 4 weeks then maybe you would have a point but 4 days is nothing. I'm guessing you both have lives to lead, jobs to go to. Just suggest a time to talk then phone him, at this very early stage in the relationship then a weekly phone call is about right I would think any more is a bit smothering

I am now ignoring his last text in hopes he will get the message.

If you want him to get the message you have to actually give him the message ffs. Phone him, or message saying you want to talk on the phone. Trying to play with him won’t go well for you.

My 16yo daughter is more mature and communicative in her dating life than you're being.

Phone him yourself if you want to talk on the phone, don't play stupid games. If there's one thing I know is universally hated by men it's women fucking about like this testing them and not just being straight with them.

Either text him and say "as I said on X I prefer to talk rather than text, can you give me a call when you're free" or call him yourself. I'm not sure why you think he should be the one doing all the chasing but he will get very bored of that horseshit very quickly.

Call him and see if he answers?

@GRex
I am interested but I am new to dating and everyone is telling me to play it cool even though I really don't want to.
I was too interested in my last relationship and it backfired so I am anxious how to behave in this one without being needy

I suggest you stop listening to "everyone" and be yourself. An occasional phone call is not needy. Why don't you ask if he's available for a chat later on this evening?

Completely ignoring someone is not playing it cool. In this day and age it's just ghosting, and after only four dates he might just think "ok fuck it, on to the next one".

The whole "play hard to get, men love it" thing is a throwback to the 90's. No one does that anymore, people want mature relationships where you communicate well with one another and are confident expressing your wants and needs. No one wants to feel like they're constantly playing a guessing game, it's exhausting.

Why? That's a nasty thing to say.

For everyone saying I am playing games ,I have only not replied to his goodnight text last night.
So far I always reply quite quickly to his messages even though he sometimes replies after hours (he is a busy man).
As soon as I reply in a sweet way he sends a dry reply.
I was very straightforward in my last relationship and open and he ended up taking me for granted so now I am terrified of giving attention incase I am smothering him.
I have communicated my concerns to him in person and I don't want to speak everyday just prob once or twice a week.

You have 'communicated concerns' and only had 4 dates? Just treat him a normal human and communicate like a grown up

You are only 4 dates in and personally I feel like you are over complicating things.

I’m not saying it’s not important to say what you want / don’t want in a relationship, but you said you have communicated your concerns to him. Don’t let it get too complicated and stressful this early on.

Dating should be fun, if you’re ignoring messages and too scared to call him in case of x y z when you’ve only been on 4 days it is too much imo.

Put the phone down for 24 hours. Go and do something for you that will make you smile or enrich you in some way.

This all sounds so immature

@Rosemarysprinkle
Communicate in a casual and polite way not demanding.
I just told him I would like it if we speak on the phone from time to time ,just that