For ignoring him ?

[YourLovingTraybake]

I met a guy from a dating app and we have been on 4 dates so far.
In the beginning on talking stage he would text and sometimes also call but now he only texts and I don't know how to feel about this.
We slept together on 4th date and he texted me soon after to say he had an amazing time with me.
I am new to dating and I don't know what is appropriate at this stage.
He texts everyday and is usually the one texting first ,I only text first where I see it appropriate.
The texts are only to check in with me and don't lead to any meaningful convos.
Before we slept together I told him I am looking for something serious and that communication by text might not be enough for me as you can't say much by text especially now that we are in late 30s early 40s for him.
He seemed to agree but it's been 4 days since last date and no phone call so I am now ignoring his last text in hopes he will get the message.
Am I overreacting here?

"As soon as I reply in a sweet way he sends a dry reply."

Do you have an example of both?

The right man for you will not be put off by you being keen. He just won't. That's a myth to protect the rejected hearts out there. You're making it much too difficult for him and for you, so how can either of you see past the game playing to see if this will work or not? If you actually do like him and want to chat, then pick up the phone or message to ask what time you can call.

@ToothPickk
He went to a wedding so I asked him to send a photo wearing a suit.
Next day he sent the photo and good morning text.
I texted good morning babe
And teased him saying he looks very good and emoji.
Then I asked him if he had fun at the wedding.
His response was yes I had a good time and after I said nice.
Convo stopped here so I waited till evening and texted him asking how was his evening .

Honestly that sounds like a normal conversation, I feel you're overthinking it.

So hungover, or not keen on you any more. Doesn't change my advice, if want to chat or to see him then just ask, it'll save a lot of angst for you to know where you stand.

Nothing dry there, normal chat.
I never understand these posts bemoaning men for not chatting/txt enough, it's not the 1950s where a lady is awaiting a man chasing her.
Bloody call or txt.

if You do decide to message just ask if he’s free for a call and see what he says?

him: morning
you: morning! I’m just having a coffee, free for a call?

Don't play silly buggers. You are an adult. If you want phone communication then you need to initiate it / say that's what you want. Don't play it cool. Be you. Be open and honest about what you want. If he can't provide it then dump him.

Before we slept together I told him I am looking for something serious and that communication by text might not be enough for me as you can't say much by text especially now that we are in late 30s early 40s for him.

Me and DP were those ages when we got together and we communicated by text pretty much all day every day (alongside phone calls and actual dates). But I would just pick up the phone and ring him if I wanted to speak to him?!

Sorry to say but this "relationship" is already a non-starter if you're playing mind games like this with him. If you can't be open and honest with someone from day one then you're fucked.

@Starlight1979
The texting with him doesn't lead to any meaningfull convos unless it's flirting which seems to make him more engaged.
Before we met there were phone calls from him and apologising for replying late.
Now he might reply late and act like nothing happened with no explanation.
So there is a change in communication from before our first date to now .
The convo is good in person but once not together i don't feel connected to him.

He’s not going to understand that you want him to call you if you just ignore him. Ask him directly for a phone call or just call him?

I get that you want him to want to call you and chat too - to show some interest in you on a day to day basis - so you calling him every time is not going to work for you. A lot of people are phone shy / disconnected when not in person. As long as its good when you're together there is still hope. I wouldn't play it cool. That'll lead to him losing interest or him thinking his level of communication is acceptable to you. Both outcomes made by you not showing your genuine feelings which you'll kick yourself over later. If you have to pretend to not be interested or be your true self to get him to like you it's not going to work anyway. I would say the last guy just wasn't the right guy, nothing to do with you being keen... they can't all be the right guy or that'd be weird! How long has he been out the dating game? Was his last relationship negative? Maybe call him but keep it light and breezy to begin with.. few minutes chatting about your day. He might feel under pressure on the phone to be entertaining so just avoids it. Then build up to more deep conversations when he's realised he enjoys your catch ups!

I may be missing something here but I read this as you've had 4 dates with him, you slept with him on the 4th date and now he's gone quiet - and you don't see why?!

You've had only 4 dates, you don't know the man to start describing "change". Dates or do not, but stop over- thinking this based on zero data!

Whoever has given you this advice as ‘playing it cool’ is an idiot.

You've has 4 dates and this is the 3rd thread you’ve started about him - it doesn’t need to be this complicated. Text him say can we have a call later? That’s really not hard is it?

I really don’t understand his you’re ok getting naked with him but you can’t ask him a simple request?

Honestly this ridiculous juvenile game playing just makes you come across as hard work and that’s going push him away.

If you want to speak on the phone, call him, or text him something like ‘hi, are you around to chat later’ if he might be busy. Anything else is game playing and a serious turn off. People are not psychic and expecting them to interpret hidden messages from bizarre actions like ghosting is crazy. If someone ghosted me after sex I’d assume they thought it was crap and move on.

Another thread, OP?!

You could at least try and keep the 'facts' consistent, as the holes in your story are increasing with each thread!

Do you give him as much emotional support as you expect from him? Sounds like he gives you a lot of support generally and got a bit frustrated. Perhaps he needs some more support from you? Do you think he thinks the friendship is one sided. ?

You need to be you....no trying to be a version of yourself because it didn't work last time....no way to be happy. This causes more anxiety than you being open and him not responding in the way you want, and the relationship ending.

YABU

You sound like my friend who is even more annoying than you! She 'tests' men; if they ring she won't answer and then waits to see if they call back. Weirdo!

Just ring him or text and ask if he is free for a call

I’d forget this guy. If you have to analyse yours and his texting behaviour after 4 dates and having sex, then it is too much effort and not right. You don’t need to think about all this if he is the right guy for you.

But by trying not to be needy you are indeed being very needy!

Live your life and communicate with him when you are free, arrange a date for God's sake 🙄

He hasn’t gone quiet! He’s texting OP who’s expecting him to psychically divine that she wants phone calls instead

Stop texting so much! Just meet up. I hate all day texting and people asking how my morning/evening was if nothing on particular is going on.