Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so bothered about a ladies long weekend away?

32 replies

TheSquashedPea · 05/08/2024 23:05

Initially I thought it would be one day away and I’d get my own ticket. In a slightly drunken conversation I was asked if I could do longer, and then - as a very, very expensive present - I was gifted the long weekend instead of it being just one day. I feel very guilty about this, and have tried to pay back through presents/other gifts. I also felt guilty about leaving my young children for a more extended period. I did have fun, but felt like one member of the group disliked me. I went along with everything, but I think I annoyed this person by initially arriving late - then not asserting myself, and then I was very tired one day after staying out until 4am the day before. I had an accident the week previously and was finding it tricky to stand/dance for longer periods.

As soon as I sat for anything - I was met with ‘are you ok?? are you ok??’
I have come back feeling just - guilty! Guilty at leaving my family, guilty about someone paying for it all, and guilty that I might have looked exhausted. I’m also feeling shit from pissing off one member of the group, when I really didn’t mean to. AIBU?

OP posts:
FruitLoop83 · 05/08/2024 23:16

I literally have no idea what you are saying.

SplitSecondd · 05/08/2024 23:22

Why feel guilty about a gift? You're back now and I assume your kids are totally fine. Someone asking are you ok doesn't mean they are pissed off, they may have just asked are you ok looking out for you no?

SplitSecondd · 05/08/2024 23:23

FruitLoop83 · 05/08/2024 23:16

I literally have no idea what you are saying.

Why? It's all pretty self explanatory.

pinkfluffymonkey · 05/08/2024 23:24

Well, it's over now so I'd let it go.

You can't please everyone all of the time so who cares if she didn't particularly like you. Did you like her?

balzamico · 05/08/2024 23:26

I think weekends away when you have little kids are tricky, so much guilt in every direction, they're worth it though

OriginalUsername2 · 05/08/2024 23:26

I couldn’t be “on” for that long either. Exhausting. Especially when the “why aren’t you having fun?” types are there. You have the accident as a reason. Someone likes you enough to treat you. There’s always one that gets easily annoyed, don’t take that personally.

StuckOnTheCeiling · 05/08/2024 23:29

Sounds tricky.

It will probably all look better once you’re looking from the other side of a decent nights sleep though.

PerfectTravelTote · 05/08/2024 23:30

You really are your own worst enemy.

You received a lovely present and had a nice weekend. Your kids survived. So what if someone (maybe) doesn't like you?

I suspect that you have a bit of an issue with being a people pleaser.

MissingKitty · 05/08/2024 23:41

Sounds like hangxiety, itl pass!

Noseybookworm · 05/08/2024 23:43

Just put it behind you, what's done is done. Absolutely no benefit to going over it in your head and feeling guilty or upset cause someone was pissed off at you. Make a conscious effort to put it out of your mind. It's in the past so leave it there.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/08/2024 23:43

PerfectTravelTote · 05/08/2024 23:30

You really are your own worst enemy.

You received a lovely present and had a nice weekend. Your kids survived. So what if someone (maybe) doesn't like you?

I suspect that you have a bit of an issue with being a people pleaser.

This. It's a choice. Just decide that you're deserving of presents and someone looking after the DC. Why wouldn't you be. And not everyone likes everyone.

TheLastTimeEver · 11/08/2024 22:42

Is this a thing now on MN that posters launch into their tale about half way through? No ability to set the scene and explain properly the context of their issue.

It’s like reading things written by 7 year olds with no theory of mind. Excruciating to read and happens more and more.

olympicsrock · 11/08/2024 22:43

I don’t know why people are being horrible to OP. She was caught off balance and agreed to something that she didn’t feel comfortable doing.
She is at a stage in life where she is exhausted and perhaps not a night owl. Her friends put pressure on her to dance and be energetic and sociable all the time in the evenings and she didn’t enjoy herself much. I have been in exactly this situation and it was very stressful .

OP just make a note that this kind of party / late night is not your thing any more . Perhaps you value quieter family time now and it is ok to be yourself.

Cheeseismyfavourite · 11/08/2024 22:45

have you been drinking sounds like the beer fear to me?

jollygreenpea · 11/08/2024 22:47

This reads like a drunken ramble.

SuncreamAndIceCream · 11/08/2024 22:57

Sounds like hangxiety to me OP

Get a good night's sleep and revisit in the morning

Agapornis · 11/08/2024 23:01

It's been 6 days folks, she's probably sobered up by now... Right @TheSquashedPea? Grin

SuncreamAndIceCream · 11/08/2024 23:12

I didn't even notice! Sorry OP!

Sorenlorrenson · 11/08/2024 23:52

Bloody hell. Make it make sense. A beginning, a middle and an end.
You've pissed me off too, with your writing style, but don't feel guilty about it.

northernsunshine · 11/08/2024 23:57

This is an unexpectedly funny thread

hope the beer fear passed, OP

Winter2020 · 12/08/2024 00:20

I think sometimes people give you things like this as a present because they know if they asked you that you would say no, so kind of a way to manipulate you. It sounds like it worked and that you went against your own preference really.

memyselfi · 12/08/2024 00:46

Why did you go ?
Personally I couldn't be social with friends rather than family for that long.
Did you feel you had to accept ?

Mentalhealthnursemama · 12/08/2024 07:55

The person who maybe doesn't like you was probably jealous that your place was paid for, and maybe from the amount of attention you got due to your Injury. The way you feel will pass xx

ineedtogwtoutbeforeitatoohot · 12/08/2024 08:06

Your back now so move on ?

CoastalCalm · 12/08/2024 08:08

I think you’ve got the beer fear