To ignore my three year old daughter when she says she’s a boy?

[Bullbreedbliss]

How do I approach this? Do I ignore? If I say she’s a girl she just argues with me. Am I doing damage by dismissing her?

They all go through that, at that age. It’s meaningless. 🙂

My daughter, at age 3, liked to pretend she was Fluttershy from My Little Pony. I took about as much heed of that as you should your daughters pronouncement that she is a boy.

My daughter is now 9 and does not believe she is Fluttershy still.

My youngest declared himself to be a red panda at that age - I wouldn't worry about it.

Just check there isn't something behind it. I read a post on here (I think) where a little boy said he wanted to be a girl. On investigation, he'd been told that only girls could play with the play kitchen in nursery. And he wanted to play with the play kitchen. 🤷‍♀️

I guess people will have different experiences but 30 years ago my little boy (now 6'3" so not so little anymore) said he was a princess. I just used to say that's nice darling and carry on with the day. Can't remember how long it lasted but probably a few months. He laughs at the photos of him prancing around as a princess.

Yes darling, you be what you like. I think I'll be a kangaroo! Etc. Do not sit down and chat with her, it will go over her head. If she genuinely starts to develop some sort of gender dysmorphia it will be much later. Also girls can be quite pass remarkable, if she isn't wearing a dress for example another girl might say she is a boy and she might have latched onto that.

My eldest was a cat for 18 months. DH was starting to get worried that she wasn't going to drop that one.... She stopped being a cat when she got an imaginary friend instead.

One of my 3 year olds is currently a baby chick. Has been for over a year so far.

I guess it's tough when they pick something like being the opposite sex, because when they say it to strangers people don't know how toreact and thatys awkward for you.

Either just play along or ignore it, whichever you are more comfortable with. Also encourage other "roles" by engaging in other imaginary play with them now and then. They'll grow out of it.

My cousin was convinced she was a dog. Had a bowl, biscuits, the lot. Another child we know was determined she was a wolf. And loads of girls I knew said they were boys etc as kids, who are now happy adult women - straight and gay - with kids.

I do think letting her wear what she likes, play with what she likes and encouraging her with the belief she can be who she wants as a grown up and do whatever job etc she wants is vital, too - we live in painfully gendered times in lots of ways, with women wearing so much makeup etc (more than since the 60s) so let her conform or not to whatever gender stereotypes she likes. But I think just don't engage if she says she's a boy. I think just let a small child work out who she is and be relaxed about it. The hysteria about labelling sexual and gender identities as rigidly fixed at very young ages is barking. Childhood should be exploration, and adolescence is just dysphoric for everyone in all manner of ways. We need to offer neutral love and support and just guide on manners, kindness, persisting at things we don't feel like doing, etc etc in my mind. The rest, in a loving and calm and accepting home, will work itself out. It doesn't actually matter whether she thinks she's a boy or a girl. It matters that she works out who she is, and that she likes that person and can be happy in that skin. And for most of us, that's the work of a lifetime - not just, or even mainly, childhood.

Dont ignore, simply correct.

"You're a girl darling."

At rhat age both of my children spent days insisting they were princesses and I had to address them by their princess name. One is a boy! They have been various other things. It's not a gender issue, it's children trying out things because they don't realise they can't just become a dog or a princess or the opposite sex.

DD always called herself a boy at 3 and I think she genuinely didn't know the difference between a boy and girl. I just humoured her and didn't get too deep into it (to be fair, her interests were solidly female like dolls, unicorns and sparkles). It was only around 5 that she realised she was a girl and keeps telling how funny it was that she used to think she was boy.

DD always called herself a boy at 3 and I think she genuinely didn't know the difference between a boy and girl. I just humoured her and get to deep into it (to be fair, her interests were solidly female like dolls, unicorns and sparkles). It was only around 5 that she realised she was a girl and keeps telling how funny it was that she used to think she was boy.

My three year old has been a cat/girl hybrid for about a year 😂 don't worry!!

My brother wanted to be a girl around the same age. Used to go around wearing my headbands and used to cry until I painted his nails, he even picked a girl name. Lasted a few weeks and then he forgot all about it and he's definitely not a girl now . It's just a phase

Of course you ignore her.
1, she's 3.
2, she is not, and can never be a boy.

Ask her what a boy is and explain then different between liking boy stuff and being a boy. My 3 year old actually thinks he is spider man.

My 3 year old chopped her ponytail off last week. Apparently she wants to be a boy like her cousin Joe.

This week she wants to be a Unicorn.

Oh god yes! You have to call me Titty (can’t say her Cs yet)

Could still be caught up in past life memories, if you're up for such theories 🤔

Don’t overthink it. At 3 Dd was a squirrel (unless she was on the toilet, when she would magically transform into a tortoise). The squirrel was from royal blood, unlike the tortoise who was just a bog standard shell dweller.

One of my cousins was batman for 5 years. Even wore the suit Christmas day. He's not batman anymore (or he got really good at hiding it).

I’d be curious curious curious! What is it you like about boys? What do you think boys do/wear? Do you think girls can’t do/wear those things? Who do you like to play with at nursery (if she goes)? Who I are your friends? What is it you like about them? Etc etc etc. I’d be really curious and accepting of this and once I’d found out all about how she is feeling I would ask her how come she doesn’t think she can be a girl who does these things or wears these things. My DD says she wants to (seriously) be a unicorn when she grows up so we have lots of these sorts of conversations, rather than ignoring it or shutting it down telling her of course she can’t be a unicorn!

One of my sons was a bird at that age and the other was a cat for his first decade. It’s just play.

That is right. Lots of little girls think it might be nice to be a boy because boys can do some things they can't, or so it appears, but it doesn't last.

I knew a little boy about the same age who said when he grew up he was going to be a lady! Now teetering on middle age you couldn't find a more blokeish bloke.

When I was a young child I lived in a fantasy world, some of it fuelled by television and books. I was a cowboy, a deep sea diver, an explorer, I lived in a jungle with wild animals - all sorts of things (even a nun). It's not at all unusual. Reality kicks in soon enough.

My DD (then aged 6) wanted to be a boy so she could have ‘boys shoes’ from M and S to go back to school with. I bought them, they lasted way longer than her usual T Bar ones. Sadly, she was teased for wearing them at one point.

Id be asking her what it means to her to be a boy and emphasise that there's no such thing as boy/girl clothes, toys, hair etc. so if she likes these things she can still be a girl.