To think I’m someone who will never lose weight?

[AugMummy]

I’m really annoyed with myself, I spent lots of money on slim fast products to lose the weight but as I couldn’t stick to it even one day it’s been a waste. Been on and off slim fast for 10 months-1 year and kept torturing myself. I then decide to just eat healthy that lasted 2 days and I was gorging myself.

This morning I started my keto after lots of research and got all the necessary foods in. I did well in the morning I had a lovely vegetable omlette and was feeling full. Had lots of water as recommended too. Took kids to park after breakfast and saw ice cream truck and just had to have one! I then came home upset with myself and had a croissant and now just finished 3 penguins. Why can’t I stick to any diet what the hell is wrong with me? Should I just give up as I’ll always be fat as I have zero willpower.

It’s because you are doing huge changes that’s are generally short term fixes.

Just change one thing. Eat a better breakfast. For example. That’s got lots of protein but also some carbs and fat.

My first step was to increase my fibre. Didn’t care about the rest. Didn’t cut anything out. But I found having a breakfast that had plenty of protein and fibre really helped my snacking later in the day.

I kept making small improvements. Those small improvements led to big improvements. And doing something you can stick at consistently is the trick. Hardly eating some days often leads to over eating either the same day or days later. I am 2 stone down and have a long way to go. But I now calorie count but try and eat plenty of protein and fibre. Don’t worry about anything else. I went from feeling absolutely shit and knackered all the time with bad habits and over a few months I have got to a place where I meal prep for office days and have really good habits that feel really easy

I was going to say similar. It's so easy to sabotage yourself when you fall off the wagon. You had an ice cream, instead of giving yourself a hard time about it the best thing to do is to get straight back on path and have the healthy dinner you had planned plus water etc. Be kind to yourself, it's really hard to change habits and kicking yourself when your down won't help.

Don't have penguins and croissants in the house and don't buy ice creams. Throw out all snacks and sugary stuff and just eat healthily. You will loose weight.

If you post more details about a typical day of eating, your height, current weight and goal weight you will get more accurate advice in terms of making sure you're setting yourself up for success there. If you are eating too little then of course you're going to cave and binge but from the information we've got we can't tell if that's the case or not.

On the lack of willpower, the only way is to avoid triggers until you're far enough in that you've started to see results, then it becomes easier. Or ask a friend or family member to hold you accountable to the standards you set for yourself.

I'm on mounjaro and agree with PP that it isn't an organic change in mindset but a biological response caused by the mounjaro. I'm under no illusions that I can manage eating like a thin person without it. I'm wired differently and no amount of learning new habits is going to compensate for my menopausal insulin resistance. It's worked for me brilliantly and I want to stay on it forever. I know that may not be what you are looking for but if you are, be aware that it's not a miraculous restoration of factory settings that allow you to come off it and think like a thin person. It corrects some of the biological causes of obesity, which I now realise are a key driving force behind why some of us eat too much. It's not just about will power and mind set at all in my opinion.

Mounjaro has been life changing for me. I recommend you look into it and if you are suitable and can afford it do it.

I know someone who had her husband hide all the chocolates in the garage.

Absolutely this! The problem with a lot of other diets is if you deviate from them you (apparantly!) completely mess up whatever it is the fad is meant to be 'resetting', and so blow it for the day. The beauty of calorie counting is that you can compensate for 'mistakes'. If you know the calories in your ice cream is 300, drop them from your evening meal, or if that doesnt leave enough food, take a 100 extra calories a day off for the next three days, and you've paid it back, and all good. Once you get into this way of thinking you tend to ask yourself whether the treats are worth the cut backs and often decide they're not.

you need to move. You need to built muscle so the metabolism its faster, your body burn calories much more if you have more muscle. Go hit the gym and do weight training. Diet never feel so easy if you have lots of muscle. The weight its just fell off. Thats why fit people always look slim. Because their body burn a lot. I’m still in process now. Try to lose weight and do weigh training 4 times a week.

This sums it up in my opinion.

I mean this gently but your post (and self sabotage) suggests that you think and behave in extremes. Your post is full of black and white statements like ‘I’m someone who will NEVER lose weight’, ‘I’ll be fat forever’, ‘I have NO willpower’. When you ate an ice cream, instead of being ok with moderation, you had extreme thoughts about failing and then decided to go all in.

My guess is that psychological therapies, or even online based cognitive therapy type programs may be the necessary first step. You may have a problem losing weight, who knows. You won’t be able to work that out until you stop binge eating… which is most likely coming from a psychological not physical place.

My DH said to me... You can tell a lot from a person based on their BMI. They are either a glutinous person or they are not.

That sort of scared me. I don't want to be a glutinous person with no self control. That's what I was at the time. I'm now within the shallow realms of a normal BMI.

Food is addictive. That's the truth of it. You have to fight this addiction. UPF's don't help. Try and cut them out and make slow but steady changes.

Good luck.

Diets don't work. Especially ridiculous faddy nonsense like slim fast and keto.

It's really boring but the only way is overhauling the way you eat on a permanent basis, lifestyle change, not dieting.

You sound like a food addict. Addictions are hard to beat.
It also sounds like you have a problem sticking to the program whenever there is a social aspect, e.g. with the kids in the park.
I suggest step by step.

First stop buying crap like penguins, if they are not in the house you can avoid them easily. If you can’t stop yourself buying them when shopping in-person, then do an online shop and get it delivered.

Second, make sure you focus on eating protein and removing carbs. Ideally no flour or grain products - that can be a golden rule. If you want a snack then eat some nuts. For breakfast have a yoghurt or eggs.

You need to remind your body that carbs are non-essential. If you don’t eat carbs and your body wants glucose it can convert fat and protein to sugar.

Keto does work, it did for me, I lost a couple of stone on it, but for most people it’s not a long term solution as it’s so restrictive.

Just like smoking (which I had as an addiction) I have to admit you can only beat an addiction when you really want to - for me it was very hard to stop smoking, I tried for years, but as soon as my son was on the way I gave up overnight because it was important enough to me to do so.

Definately a mental issue not a physical one which I can totally relate to. It's the habit of our lifestyle which is hard to give up. Seeing the ice cream van symbolises, fun or a treat or a happy fix. We are not hungry, it's just wanting that piece of happiness and sharing that fun time with the kids. It is hard but like others have said, if that happens again, accept it but don't self punish and then make it worse. Have the ice cream and that's it and carry on with your diet and think ok tomorrow I'll try not to have an ice cream. Small steps will work but forgive yourself if you have a slip and keep with the challenge.

Nothing to do with willpower
You need to eat the right foods and enough of them.
What you ate obviously didn't satisfy you.
Stop fad diets and counting calories and eating substantial filling healthy meals

The no carbs brigade is tedious. Just stating all carbs are bad is incorrect.

Overview

Complex carbohydrates are made up of sugar molecules that are strung together in long, complex chains. Complex carbohydrates are found in foods such as peas, beans, whole grains, and vegetables. Both simple and complex carbohydrates are turned to glucose (blood sugar) in the body and are used as energy. Glucose is used in the cells of the body and in the brain. Any unused glucose is stored in the liver and muscles as glycogen for use later.

Complex carbohydrate foods provide vitamins, minerals, and fiber that are important to the health of an individual. The majority of carbohydrates should come from complex carbohydrates (starches) and naturally occurring sugars, rather than processed or refined sugars, which do not have the vitamins, minerals, and fiber found in complex carbohydrates. Refined sugars are often called "empty calories" because they have little to no nutritional value.

Your husband can tell a person has a sticky glue like texture from their BMI? Unless he's made some new discovery about the composition of the human body, he is being very unintelligent, both in his use of language and his understanding of issues around weight. If I were you I'd take his 'insights' with an enormous pinch of salt. I'm glad you're managing to improve your health, but sorry the motivation came from his ignorance and rudeness.

Hiya op it's hard work you need to find something a goal to motivate you for instance instead of seeing it as losing weight and putting pressure on yourself see it more as trying to get healthy building your
fitness and strength levels.
Have you thought about joining a fitness class? Or swimming?
I'm like you op I can't diet I need to exercise to keep myself motivated and it's become more about keeping healthy and strong than weight on the scales I do a mixture of cardio and weight training.
I've lost over two stone but as I said I can't do diet alone it needs to go with exercise to keep me motivated I also don't beat myself up if i have the odd treat so long as I'm watching what I'm eating the rest of the time.

Also download a calorie counting app if you can that way you can keep an eye on just how much calories you consume handy as that's the biggest key is calorie deficit to losing weight to begin with.

This is why I do well on calorie control. You may have the ice-cream. You just have to log the calories.

Thsnk you, @5128gap for saying exactly what I was thinking...
What an ignorant and dangerous statement: so smug and stupid!

Your husband can tell a person has a sticky glue like texture from their BMI?

OP, I'm in a similar boat and I'm finding so much of the advice of PPs is very good (I'm taking notes 😉). I agree that your main problem (mine too) is psychological, not physical: I would recomend therapy. Food issues almost always come from early childhood attachement problems.
Then, the all or nothing mindset (the good old perfectionism) is at fault now: maybe an automatism that doesn't help you.
Solidarity, step by step we'll get there 💐
Edited to add a book recomendation: "Atomic habits" seemingly has a very helpful approach that could help in a weight loss "journey" (reading it myself because DH is a fan!)

I tried Keto a while ago and it took me a number of attempts to continue and lose some weight but the craving for carbs was insane. I love sweet treats so I expected this would be difficult however I was not expecting the craving for a potato to hit me so hard 😅 😫.
I ended up giving up because it was just too much.

Now it's portion control with a smaller portion of carbs such as sweet potato mash, rice, quinoa, cous cous and the weight is slowly dropping.