Working and teen childcare

[MrsCarterS112]

Just interested into how people juggle working and teens.
I work 9-5 and the odd few hours on a Sunday. I work 2 towns away. My dd13 feels I am unfair as when I work I want her to be in at ours or a friends not out and about, as I need to be nearby.
she says this restricts her a lot. I say tough luck!

i am single no real help and it’s honestly stressing me out this summer hols. What does everyone else do?

Can she not go out into town / somewhere fun like cinema etc while you’re at work. It’s the summer holidays no wonder she isn’t happy if she has to be inside a house. At that age all my kids wanted to be out every day (now older teens they stay in a bit more).

Why can’t your DD go to friends’ houses and go out and do things when you’re at work, though? Does she not have a key?!

I don’t think it’s really fair to make her sit around on her own indoors all day during the holidays.

Sorry just to add, do ensure she / you have an app so you can see where she is, and then you can relax a bit more.

Your DD is right. You're being absolutely ridiculous.

So she's kept inside the house all summer whilst you're at work? That's a bit unfair and just be really boring. Surely it's better for her to be able to go out places with friends?

Why do you need to be nearby? What does this mean?

Why do you need to be nearby? It sounds like you’re asking her to be indoors which is restrictive
does she have a key?

at 13 and at senior school she should be relatively independent and able to meet friends

This! Assuming she is sensible, you want to trash her free time off school because you are over protective? Try again OP.

I think it’s fair enough to want to know where she is and what she’s doing. It’s an awkward age for childcare. But insisting she stays at home all day isn’t fair.

You are being ridiculous 🙄

Will she not go to any holiday clubs? There’s lots round here for older kids, pony camp, paddle boarding etc but my teen DD won’t go.

So just to also say I work from
hme most days, save for the odd one or when I do meetings. I only ask she stays in if I’m in the next town which is 1-2 time a week for 2-4 hours

my son is 13 and I don’t make him stay in just because I am out of the house.

I didn’t with my older daughter either. Both would let me know what they were doing, who with and where.

If ds is going to the cinema I will get a text ‘meeting X in town to go to the cinema’ then ‘I am with X at at the cinema. Will let you know when I am setting off home’

that sort of thing.

That's very different to 9-5 M-F plus some Sundays isn't it?

Yeah I do have the app. I just worry about not being able to get to her her in an emergency
I do have friends nearby though but not always available . Am I being to over protective ? She is 13 and she does have a key
also her dad and grandma live about 20 mins away

How far away is the two towns away?
Can you not compromise and say she can go out but has to be at home or friends house by 3pm?
What exactly are your concerns about her being somewhere other than home?

In case anything happens and it does for example if there was to be a fight or something, or someone approached her or if she became unwell and I am 30 mins away

But she could have an emergency at home and you would still be in the next town away.

I work those hours but am out the house only the times specified no need to be rude

I only ask she is in outs or a friends house the hours I am in the next town - I work from home a large amo in of time

Surely she knows how to dial 999?

@Drigante is correct, that’s a very different message to the original post. Makes a massive difference on how reasonable it is.

I still think it’s unreasonable as doesn’t really make any sense but staying in a couple of times a week is very different to 5 days a week for full days.

True which is why I’m asking. Just forgot how attacking mumsnet could be when simply asking for advice from one mum to another.
ita different when it’s just you caring for someone with little to no support they only have you and you get used to doing it all.
cant believe the shit I’m getting for actually asking the question upon listening to what my daughter is telling me

Does she have a health condition?
why would she have a fight?
You’re massively projecting YOUR anxieties on to her
let her get on with it
i used to work an hour from my DD who does have a health condition so I had to make sure she knew what to do if she was unwell etc
that’s part of growing up
giving her life skills and independence is good for her and yoh

We just have a rule, they tell me if they are leaving the house and roughly where they are going and who with. If she is having anyone over to our house, she needs to ask first.